Seeing a therapist/psychologist

[Wolf1969]

I live in Pennsylvania and have never been to a shrink (psychiatrist) or therapist (psychologist). I am considering seeing a therapist to discuss issues in my marriage. I think I need to work on myself because I obviously cannot force my wife to help herself.

 

My question is this...does one need to first see a psychiatrist and then be referred to a therapist or can you just call up a therapist and make an appointment? I know that some of this depends on insurance, but I was speaking in general terms. Do you need to be referred to a therapist by a shrink?

 

The reason I ask is that I have no desire to sit through a shrink asking me if I remember being breast fed or have repressed sexual feelings for my mother. LOL.

[Trolly]

You should just be able to see a therapist with out having to consult anyone. I support your move to do so. I think if I would've seen one in time my relationship wouldn't have collapsed. An important part of therapy is coming to terms with that you can't change other people nor is it our personal role to. With that a person then needs to learn to accept another persons behavior. If that's something they cannot do then the idea of moving along is something the person should consider.

 

Perhaps you can lead by example and eventually get your lady to do so.

[analystfromhell]

I just did some research on counselors in the local area and went to see one whos practice seemed to be up the alley of what I need/ed. You might have to see more than one if at first the one you see doesn't seem like a good fit. It's important I think to get over the "getting to know one another" phase pretty quickly as therapy is expensive and needs to be effective for YOU.

[AustinScott]

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[triphopper414]

You may want to seek out a marriage counsellor who is more specialized to suit your needs. Your wife does not need to be there per se.

 

Also, look into your workplace to see if they have any services.

[carhill]

1. Identify specifically what the issues are. Write them down.

 

2. Get a full physical and blood work from your GP for baseline.

 

3. Interview three psychologists and discuss their proficiency in addressing those issues. For example, one psychologist may be more proficient/expert in addressing issues of infidelity versus emotional or sexual dysfunction.

 

4. If you feel the need for medical evaluation and/or psych medication, have the psychologist you've selected evaluate your perspective and refer you to a competent psychiatrist. For example, if you feel depressed, the psychologist can evaluate that and recommend/refer as appropriate.

 

Generally, a psychologist who individually counsels a patient will refer out for MC, since their focus is on their client. A MC focuses on the marriage. The marriage is their client. Our MC would not have counseled us individually (he said this) but would have referred us for IC to another practitioner. In our area, this is customary. YMMV on that.

 

ETA backstory.

 

My personal advice would be to do IC to learn tools to change your own mindset as well as to engage your wife in a positive way to recover her health and the state of your marital relations. Once those tools are in place, then proceed to request MC with her. Set a timeline for this positive reinforcement and request process. If she does not cooperate, end things on a positive note, knowing you made your best effort.

Edited September 25, 2011 by carhill