Anewlife23 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I am 40 I was with my wife 13 years. married 5. No kids. Joint mortgage for 10 years. We've had financial problems for years. I was verbally abusive towards here family. I had anger issues, punched walls etc. I went on medication and solved problems. But we grew apart. I didn't provide the atention she deserved. Recently she starting drinking and going out with friends. She was even drunk at my family outings. She has suffered from depression from her childhood because her father abandoned her and later on in life at age 17 her "dad" was murdered. I sensed distance. We were to go on a weekend trip with another couple but could afford to kennel dogs and I allowed her to go. When the other couple arrived there was a single man in the car. I let her go because I trusted her and the other couple. Unkown to me she had an emotional affair with 1000's of texts with the guy. 2 weeks later she left for a weekend and said she wasn"t coming home. He was there. She came back home and wrote and emotionaless 9 page letter give our marriage 6 months. Thats was Sunday. The following week was bliss. I took my mother out of state for high school reunion and she left. 2 days later filed for divorce. She has removed all belongings from house and moved in with her mother to find her "self worth." I started gym and I work full time and started school at night. 13 hours days. She lets the dogs out during day. She recently emailed and said she will let dogs out but wants no contact and NOTHING from the relationship but her "self worth." It's been a month, I am going to counseling and am on a couple antidepressants. I realized my problems and I am fixing them, I am fixing me. Should I even care about her and us? Should I just move on? Mutual friends have confirmed her EA never became physical....he's just a "nice guy" I miss her dearly....do I?....or just because I am alone in a house. I've lost 28 lbs in the last month..I am in the best shape of my life and going to counseling. Oh yeah, she has refused to pay 1/2 of mortgage (in both our names.) Help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sadhubby Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 sounds like alot of damage maybe almost always theres more than just an emotinal affair do you think your wife spent a weekend with this guy and nothing happend but just text messages? she is focused elswhere now so should you. Link to post Share on other sites
analystfromhell Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Or at least is until / if she changes her mind. Protect yourself legally and move on. Sounds like you're well on your way to a 180, just keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anewlife23 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 It's killing me to be alone. Her brother and sister told me she is a wreck. Last Sunday when she picked up her stuff, she played tough until she got in the car and broke down crying. Like I said she is refusing to pay mortgage. I am so messed up I should hate her but I don't. I feel like I am moving forward then the next day is 2 steps back. She told me she wants no more contact. She says she wants nothing for the 13 year relationship but her "self worth." Self worth is all she ever mentions. When will my life be normal? What should I do...obviously keep no contact but I want her back so bad it hurts. I even gave her a key to let our Labradors out at lunch. How long will that last???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anewlife23 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I mean honestly...she RAN to court and filed for divorce after a great week together. My head is spinning and I can't stop thinking about it...and her! Link to post Share on other sites
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