priestess319 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I've been seeing a guy for 3 months now and we've been in an exclusive relationship. The first month was great. He lives 2 hours away. Well after the 1st month (when we became exclusive) he started getting moody. I continually try to express my feelings and I'm being told I'm giving guilt trips. I made the comment I didn't feel he was trying to make an effort and I've been told he's just busy. So I've tried being understanding but he keeps rescheduling and canceling on me last minute. He tells me this is because he gets sick and gets tired and can't make it. I try to be understanding but it keeps happening. I'm being told this is just part of a long distance relationship, I really don't concider 2 hours long distance. He's gone from being nice to me to being sharp and short. I try to talk to him and he tells me I need to be more understanding and "have a thicker skin". I have 2 events I told him about over a month ago and he's already telling me he might not make it. The last time we saw each other he got busy and showed up 2 hours late. I have tried to tell him how this is really making me feel unwanted and unneeded but he keeps getting defensive. I tried to explain on Saturday that a bunch of people were coming over that night that were supposed to meet him and now he wasn't showing up. I'm not trying to be insensitive for him having to work but he changed work days on Monday when he knew he was supposed to be at the party. Then I get told well I'm sick and just didn't tell you. Well last night I tried to discuss everything with him and I was being told "how many times are we going to have to talk about this". I tried to come up with a solution by suggesting we schedule a romantic weekend, and I barely received an acknowledgement. Then I mentioned that bothered me and I get told I'm giving guilt trips. Should I just run from this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 IMO, long distance relationships dont last. Well only because mine did lol. Its tough on both people cause you dont know if they're telling the truth or not. But i would just go with your gut feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Should I just run from this guy? this is a no-brainer really YES get rid of him You feel he's not making an effort because he isn't. The first months of a relationship are when you both should be giddy with each other, when you can't stand to be apart, when you spend all night talking on the phone, when he drops everything to run over to be with you just because you're feeling a little down....... And if it's a long distance relationship each has to be willing to put in that extra effort if anything is going to come of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Becks84 Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 He could be breaking plans and barely giving you the time of day because he isn't into you "enough". Obviously he likes you or he wouldn't be dating you. But you two seem to not be on the same page and you are just going to run out of energy both physically and emotionally by trying to make it work all on your own. It's not just up to you. It needs to be 50/50 or it's just not worth your time. My advice would be to get out of this relationship. ANy concerns you have about the relationship are not being taken serious by him and that's just not right. I don't care how dumb he thinks it is, he should bother him because it is bothering you and he cares about you. He seems like a jerk and you seem like a very wonderful giving person...don't settle for less than you deserve! -becks Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 A relationship should make you happy and it sounds like this one isn't. Life is too short, imo break it off with him, as he sounds very selfish anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
rudyfunston Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Please move on. If this were a true 'relationship', he would be at least respectful enough to cancel plans in a timely manner(and not this many times in a row!). He would make time for you, and make sure you felt that way--especially at this stage! It's obvious he is sabotaging any ties to you. Could be someone else in the picture. Why do so many guys(and girls)avoid telling someone they need to break up, and instead just lie, make excuses, or say "I need space"(the biggest euphemism EVER for I wanna break up/see others-call me a cynic)?? It's sooo much more cruel(crueler?) to string someone along. Sorry this happened to you! It could've been further down the road though :-). Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I dont wanna downplay your relationship or anything but it was three months...if you had strong felings for him yes it will be hard to let go but at least you wont have too many memories to dwell on...it sounds like he has lost interest so just take some time to cope amd this will make you stronger and you will learn something Link to post Share on other sites
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