alexandria35 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Opps, too late. I already told her. You called his wife? How did that go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 You called his wife? How did that go? No, I texted her. I have sent stuff letters regarding harassement to her from my lawyer, so I really can't call her and probably shouldn't text. But I did text. She responded with that I was lying, and when am I going to get over trying to have her life. That he had been with her the entire time. And when am I just not going to get my own life. Stupid bitch. Well, I tried. Thats on her. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I'd say this latest action shines a spotlight on the fact that it really is All.About.Him. He showed zero regard for how his actions would affect you---he didn't stop and consider that he might be rubbing salt in a fresh wound. If anything---maybe you can use this example of how selfish he is---as a reminder to remain NC with him. What I'd like to see-- is for you to tap into a healthy dose of anger at him, regarding this latest incident--- Anger--- when harnessed properly---can be a mobilizing force for self-preservation----(just keep a tight hold on the reigns, so it doesn't run away with you..........) It can also keep you from sinking too deeply into depressive thinking (which could potentially make you more vulnerable to him attempting to break NC again) You didn't have to reside in an angry place all the time, but there are times that it's not only appropriate, but helpful. You could view it as a way station on the road to your healing. Freestyle said what I wanted to say. I do have to ask and I apologize if you answered this already as I just skimmed most posts .... Why did he want you to check your email? What did he send you? My friend, he is trying to start up with you again. He is testing the waters, he is trying to see if you will bite. BITE HIM. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone with STRONG balls and a loving heart. I can so relate to the sobbing out of eye sight. I did giggle and wondered "what were her neighbors thinking?" He is not respecting you - AGAIN. He is again NOT caring about the hurt you are feeling. He is being selfish AGAIN. Screw that crap. I am very proud of you for telling him to get the F out of your neighborhood. He needs to leave you alone. If he comes back again, call his wife right then and tell her to get a shorter leash for her cheating slimey husband. Take a picture of him and prove to her he is ONCE AGAIN chasing you. Take back YOUR life. Take back YOUR power. You will heal. You will survive. You will be whole again. Cry, sob and get the hurt out. Keep running and have some kick ass songs on your ipod - so get your blood pumping and your energy sky rocketing. Do it FOR YOU. You will not allow him any longer to dictate your good days and bad days. I am so proud of you! Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Freestyle said what I wanted to say. I do have to ask and I apologize if you answered this already as I just skimmed most posts .... Why did he want you to check your email? What did he send you? My friend, he is trying to start up with you again. He is testing the waters, he is trying to see if you will bite. BITE HIM. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone with STRONG balls and a loving heart. I can so relate to the sobbing out of eye sight. I did giggle and wondered "what were her neighbors thinking?" He is not respecting you - AGAIN. He is again NOT caring about the hurt you are feeling. He is being selfish AGAIN. Screw that crap. I am very proud of you for telling him to get the F out of your neighborhood. He needs to leave you alone. If he comes back again, call his wife right then and tell her to get a shorter leash for her cheating slimey husband. Take a picture of him and prove to her he is ONCE AGAIN chasing you. Take back YOUR life. Take back YOUR power. You will heal. You will survive. You will be whole again. Cry, sob and get the hurt out. Keep running and have some kick ass songs on your ipod - so get your blood pumping and your energy sky rocketing. Do it FOR YOU. You will not allow him any longer to dictate your good days and bad days. I am so proud of you! Hang in there. Thx FO.... Dang girl... I felt like I could run a marathon after your post. THANK YOU!!! Lol...I wondered about my neighbors too. Good grief. Crying, hiding, yelling to F off...what a sight!!! As far as his email, (and let me know your thoughts) it said: I just got in here for the first time in a while. I wanted to tell you that I drove by your house a little before 7. I am in KC on business, I cried the entire trip. I have never cried that much and that hard in my life. I thanked God for you and even if I was never able to have your love again, how much of a blessing it was to have it. I do compartmentalize everything, and my wall came down and I saw the world for what it is. I miss you incredibly, you will always be the love of my life and I will love you forever. You are absolutely the most beautiful woman, inside and out. You are a gift from God, and you bless anyone who comes into your life with your kindness and warm heart. Thank you for your beauty. I am sorry for everything I have done to you, I have been God awful. It wasn't my heart, but my actions proved other wise and I am sorry. I have no excuses. I am not trying to start anything or wreck your life. I just wanted you to know this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 so, do you think hes still trying to start something? or sincerely sorry? Or BOTH? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Sorry, I tried to edit the post but couldn't. Also i forgot he had on the end... I love you, you are my free soul, with out you I will never be able to fly right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 I know you didn't ask me but I wanted to comment wannabdone, I hope you don't mind. It's just words. You've had no real actions for 10 years and there is nothing there to indicate that anything would be different in the future. Sure he cares, maybe he loves you, but really if nothing changes, it matters not. Because I'm detached, I view his words as a ploy to keep things as they were. You can't see it yet, but this guy is NOT a good man. 10 years, he plays you and his wife. He has no respect or regard for you or his wife. He IS a POS! LG... you are a sweet woman....and I welcome any and all of your opinions always!!! And THANK YOU. Thats what I needed. I wanted to know if he was truly sorry, or if he was just saying s*** to get back in. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! (((HUGS))))) Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Thx FO.... Dang girl... I felt like I could run a marathon after your post. THANK YOU!!! Lol...I wondered about my neighbors too. Good grief. Crying, hiding, yelling to F off...what a sight!!! As far as his email, (and let me know your thoughts) it said: I just got in here for the first time in a while. I wanted to tell you that I drove by your house a little before 7. I am in KC on business, I cried the entire trip. I have never cried that much and that hard in my life. I thanked God for you and even if I was never able to have your love again, how much of a blessing it was to have it. I do compartmentalize everything, and my wall came down and I saw the world for what it is. I miss you incredibly, you will always be the love of my life and I will love you forever. You are absolutely the most beautiful woman, inside and out. You are a gift from God, and you bless anyone who comes into your life with your kindness and warm heart. Thank you for your beauty. I am sorry for everything I have done to you, I have been God awful. It wasn't my heart, but my actions proved other wise and I am sorry. I have no excuses. I am not trying to start anything or wreck your life. I just wanted you to know this. Glad I made you giggle with the wondering what the neighbors were saying "OMG Arthur, do you see that girl out there? Do you think she is trying to pee on our tree? ":laugh::laugh: As for his email, this says it all What a bunch of crap. Yes, he is playing you IMHO. Boo Hoo, I cried and haven't cried like that in a long time And he expects you to feel sorry for him? Gimme a break. So you have it on record he is stalking you, lovely. Too bad you don't have his wife's email ... you could send her that and tell her to reign him in. Tell her you don't want him driving by your house or crying like a little girl while driving on the road. He is doing his best to suck you back in. DO NOT LET HIM. He wants sympathy from YOU - the woman he allegedly 'loves'. If that is how he loves, good thing the affair is over. He doesn't love you like a man loves a woman. For 10 years - TEN YEARS - he has played on your good heart. He is a user. He is a taker. He is selfish. He is self centered. He will love you forever, while he stays married to his wife. He misses you, while he stays with his wife. He does realize you aren't 12 years old right? He says it wasn't his heart that was "God awful" to you, it was his actions? Does he not realize he controls his actions? He is pitiful. He wanted you to see that email before he drove by, with the hopes that you would jump into his lap and adore him. He wants you to make him feel like a winner, like you will never have someone so dang good in your life. Blech. You will do better. You will do better when YOU realize YOU deserve better. YOU will get through this; each day you will get stronger. I know some don't believe in blocking calls or emails, but I advise you to send his emails to your trash. You don't need to read his bull. I stand by my views - if a man loves a woman (or a woman loves a man), they WILL move mountains to be with them; not hide behind "kids" or "finances" or whatever. He doesn't know what love it. He doesn't know the very basics of a relationship - respect the person you care about. You don't subject them to sneaking around, limited availability due to a SPOUSE, etc. If you love someone, you want to stand on a rooftop and shout it out. You don't treat someone you love like a used toy that you play with when no one will see. You don't treat someone you love like that. Yes, love can hurt; but love shouldn't have to be hidden or secret. YOU will get through this. YOU need to get mad. YOU need to see that there is no future with him. YOU need to know deep in your heart that you deserve better. This is just MY view, so take it for what its worth. I think you have learned a lot through this and I hope that the next person you date is worthy of you. Right now is not the time for dating and I hope you work through all the sadness you have in your heart right now. A new path is waiting out there for you....heal your heart and get out there and embrace what is waiting for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Thx FO.... Dang girl... I felt like I could run a marathon after your post. THANK YOU!!! Lol...I wondered about my neighbors too. Good grief. Crying, hiding, yelling to F off...what a sight!!! As far as his email, (and let me know your thoughts) it said: I just got in here for the first time in a while. I wanted to tell you that I drove by your house a little before 7. I am in KC on business, I cried the entire trip. I have never cried that much and that hard in my life. I thanked God for you and even if I was never able to have your love again, how much of a blessing it was to have it. I do compartmentalize everything, and my wall came down and I saw the world for what it is. I miss you incredibly, you will always be the love of my life and I will love you forever. You are absolutely the most beautiful woman, inside and out. You are a gift from God, and you bless anyone who comes into your life with your kindness and warm heart. Thank you for your beauty. I am sorry for everything I have done to you, I have been God awful. It wasn't my heart, but my actions proved other wise and I am sorry. I have no excuses. I am not trying to start anything or wreck your life. I just wanted you to know this. As a man it's interesting to read what other men write. I read this as he's in a lot of pain, but it's also about his pain and him, notice there is very little acknowledgement of your pain, his pain is 70% yours is 30% or less of the letter. He's putting his pain on you. Maybe it's just my style but there's no sense of action, a man usually wants to fix and usually will try to open the door to reparations by offering some form of fix right or wrong. He's trying to draw you into taking action which is a cowardly maneuver, or as people call it 'fishing'. The phrase "I am not trying to start anything or wreck your life" is not completely the truth, he's hoping you'll acquiesce, I don't say that meaning he has malicious intent but more his emotions seem to be trumping his logic and he's trying to alleviate the pain by you opening the door to more communication; that is forgiving him, which I don't think is a wise move on your part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Glad I made you giggle with the wondering what the neighbors were saying "OMG Arthur, do you see that girl out there? Do you think she is trying to pee on our tree? ":laugh::laugh: As for his email, this says it all What a bunch of crap. Yes, he is playing you IMHO. Boo Hoo, I cried and haven't cried like that in a long time And he expects you to feel sorry for him? Gimme a break. So you have it on record he is stalking you, lovely. Too bad you don't have his wife's email ... you could send her that and tell her to reign him in. Tell her you don't want him driving by your house or crying like a little girl while driving on the road. He is doing his best to suck you back in. DO NOT LET HIM. He wants sympathy from YOU - the woman he allegedly 'loves'. If that is how he loves, good thing the affair is over. He doesn't love you like a man loves a woman. For 10 years - TEN YEARS - he has played on your good heart. He is a user. He is a taker. He is selfish. He is self centered. He will love you forever, while he stays married to his wife. He misses you, while he stays with his wife. He does realize you aren't 12 years old right? He says it wasn't his heart that was "God awful" to you, it was his actions? Does he not realize he controls his actions? He is pitiful. He wanted you to see that email before he drove by, with the hopes that you would jump into his lap and adore him. He wants you to make him feel like a winner, like you will never have someone so dang good in your life. Blech. You will do better. You will do better when YOU realize YOU deserve better. YOU will get through this; each day you will get stronger. I know some don't believe in blocking calls or emails, but I advise you to send his emails to your trash. You don't need to read his bull. I stand by my views - if a man loves a woman (or a woman loves a man), they WILL move mountains to be with them; not hide behind "kids" or "finances" or whatever. He doesn't know what love it. He doesn't know the very basics of a relationship - respect the person you care about. You don't subject them to sneaking around, limited availability due to a SPOUSE, etc. If you love someone, you want to stand on a rooftop and shout it out. You don't treat someone you love like a used toy that you play with when no one will see. You don't treat someone you love like that. Yes, love can hurt; but love shouldn't have to be hidden or secret. YOU will get through this. YOU need to get mad. YOU need to see that there is no future with him. YOU need to know deep in your heart that you deserve better. This is just MY view, so take it for what its worth. I think you have learned a lot through this and I hope that the next person you date is worthy of you. Right now is not the time for dating and I hope you work through all the sadness you have in your heart right now. A new path is waiting out there for you....heal your heart and get out there and embrace what is waiting for you! Thank you FO.... This post made me laugh (louder than I have in a long time) and then cry. btw: Arthur says to bertha ... "no, bertha...she's not peeing...shes telling some old man in a car to F off. My goodness, how do hillbillies live in this addition?" bahahahahahaaha...... Now on to the crying part... I know, I know, I know. I know I deseve better, I really do. Thats why I haven't budge an ounce. I did block his emails, before, he set up another email address. he will just do it again. I can't change his actions, only mine. I felt that that was what he was doing, I hoped it was just a heart felt apology, though. Go figure .... hes saying one thing, and doing another. He can have his life....if he gets off confined to having his emails, phone calls, and everything else in his life ransacked by a physco.... peace out! I will move on from this. I'm just so gd sick of hurting. Again, thank you. I mean this in a very non creepy internet way.... love you sister!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 As a man it's interesting to read what other men write. I read this as he's in a lot of pain, but it's also about his pain and him, notice there is very little acknowledgement of your pain, his pain is 70% yours is 30% or less of the letter. He's putting his pain on you. Maybe it's just my style but there's no sense of action, a man usually wants to fix and usually will try to open the door to reparations by offering some form of fix right or wrong. He's trying to draw you into taking action which is a cowardly maneuver, or as people call it 'fishing'. The phrase "I am not trying to start anything or wreck your life" is not completely the truth, he's hoping you'll acquiesce, I don't say that meaning he has malicious intent but more his emotions seem to be trumping his logic and he's trying to alleviate the pain by you opening the door to more communication; that is forgiving him, which I don't think is a wise move on your part. This is always what it is.... one sentence about sorry to me, then followed by 30 sentences about sorry for him. And yes, I feel that he is trying to draw me in. When you say fishing...do you mean he is trying to get me to pony up and say...lets start this again? Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Thank you FO.... This post made me laugh (louder than I have in a long time) and then cry. btw: Arthur says to bertha ... "no, bertha...she's not peeing...shes telling some old man in a car to F off. My goodness, how do hillbillies live in this addition?" bahahahahahaaha...... Now on to the crying part... I know, I know, I know. I know I deseve better, I really do. Thats why I haven't budge an ounce. I did block his emails, before, he set up another email address. he will just do it again. I can't change his actions, only mine. I felt that that was what he was doing, I hoped it was just a heart felt apology, though. Go figure .... hes saying one thing, and doing another. He can have his life....if he gets off confined to having his emails, phone calls, and everything else in his life ransacked by a physco.... peace out! I will move on from this. I'm just so gd sick of hurting. Again, thank you. I mean this in a very non creepy internet way.... love you sister!!! Know what? You just proved to me that YOU will be okay. Yes you are hurt and sad. But you will be just fine. You have a strength that you hadn't known you had. You have reached your limit of bullsh*t. I am excited to see the 'new' you as you emerge from the cocoon that you have been in for 10 years. What an awesome journey you have ahead of you. Psst.... stay out of the neighbors bushes before they call the Po Po on you You are going to make the home values plummet even more You will be the talk of the neighborhood...who knows, people may bring "the crazy lady who pees in the neighbors yard" tuna casseroles If you can laugh and smile, you will get through this Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 No, I texted her. I have sent stuff letters regarding harassement to her from my lawyer, so I really can't call her and probably shouldn't text. But I did text. She responded with that I was lying, and when am I going to get over trying to have her life. That he had been with her the entire time. And when am I just not going to get my own life. Stupid bitch. Well, I tried. Thats on her. He is such a pathetic prick!! I bet his wife questioned him when she got your text and he lied to her and told her not to believe anything you say . He is such a jerk! He might not be trying to start up anything with you but he's definitely trying to hold you back and keep you down, mired in his dirt and filth. Oh my God! You gotta get pissed girl!! This manipulative selfish liar that you see now is who he really is. I understand your conflicting emotions right now but you gotta stay strong and get past this and one day you will see it the same way the rest of us do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 He is such a pathetic prick!! I bet his wife questioned him when she got your text and he lied to her and told her not to believe anything you say . He is such a jerk! He might not be trying to start up anything with you but he's definitely trying to hold you back and keep you down, mired in his dirt and filth. Oh my God! You gotta get pissed girl!! This manipulative selfish liar that you see now is who he really is. I understand your conflicting emotions right now but you gotta stay strong and get past this and one day you will see it the same way the rest of us do. Thx alex.... I'm seeing it, more than before. Just wish all these damn emotions weren't attached so I could see it as clearly as everyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 This is always what it is.... one sentence about sorry to me, then followed by 30 sentences about sorry for him. And yes, I feel that he is trying to draw me in. When you say fishing...do you mean he is trying to get me to pony up and say...lets start this again? He's trying to keep a loose leash on you. He doesn't want you to forget about him, he wants to haunt you. Men are very possessive when it comes to the affections of women, by apologizing profusely and talking you up like you've transcended from heaven (who am I to say ) he's hoping to keep the hook in. This isn't the last of it I guarantee that and especially after 10 years, there's going to be a lot of ebb and flow. That will probably last a long time, just keep strong and realize that it gets easier and easier. But, I think you're doing an awesome job on staying strong and keeping away form him. And lets face it after 10 years he needs to lose something, up until now he's been hedging both sides of the betting table and that's unfair to everyone involved, except him.... think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyMom Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wow! I just read through all of this and just want to say I am so amazed and envious at how strong you are! I can't imagine how you're feeling, but you are doing a great job handling it even though it's hard. I hope it gets easier for you eventually and that he stays away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 He's trying to keep a loose leash on you. He doesn't want you to forget about him, he wants to haunt you. Men are very possessive when it comes to the affections of women, by apologizing profusely and talking you up like you've transcended from heaven (who am I to say ) he's hoping to keep the hook in. This isn't the last of it I guarantee that and especially after 10 years, there's going to be a lot of ebb and flow. That will probably last a long time, just keep strong and realize that it gets easier and easier. But, I think you're doing an awesome job on staying strong and keeping away form him. And lets face it after 10 years he needs to lose something, up until now he's been hedging both sides of the betting table and that's unfair to everyone involved, except him.... think about it. Now, Now, Circular... come on....I might be sent from the heavens. lol. But seriously, I hear you. And a part of me thinks that was used in there because he knows how I am the caregiver, the one who doesn't want to leave anyone, or the one who always wants to help ppl. But, I just can't imagine that someone is that mailicious. To set up an email that is to hit the points so correctly that it can be used to get back in with someone. He is incredibly possessive. For being a MM he sure likes to act like I'm his and his alone. Which I never understood, but dumb ass me liked that for a long time, and found it flattering. I was afraid you would say that this will be going on for a long time. I'm sure I will be bombarded with a ton of promises, and god knows what. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wow! I just read through all of this and just want to say I am so amazed and envious at how strong you are! I can't imagine how you're feeling, but you are doing a great job handling it even though it's hard. I hope it gets easier for you eventually and that he stays away. Thx girl... I wouldn't be too envious though.... its not over yet. However, I am just at the point that I can't do it anymore, no matter how I feel. This is why I've been telling you to be cautious....I would hate for anyone to get sucked into what I have been in for 10 long years. By the way... I am proud of you too. You are searching for help and being more than honest with your self. Which is the first and one of the hardest steps. Link to post Share on other sites
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Now, Now, Circular... come on....I might be sent from the heavens. lol. But seriously, I hear you. And a part of me thinks that was used in there because he knows how I am the caregiver, the one who doesn't want to leave anyone, or the one who always wants to help ppl. But, I just can't imagine that someone is that mailicious. To set up an email that is to hit the points so correctly that it can be used to get back in with someone. He is incredibly possessive. For being a MM he sure likes to act like I'm his and his alone. Which I never understood, but dumb ass me liked that for a long time, and found it flattering. I was afraid you would say that this will be going on for a long time. I'm sure I will be bombarded with a ton of promises, and god knows what. I don't think it's intentionally consciously malicious, I think he's speaking from his point of pain and that's making him be selfish because he hurts and he wants you to heal his pain. Thing is it's been 10 years, the man most likely does love you dearly, nobody would hang on 10 years if they didn't. I know myself I still love xmw I just have learned to move-on and accept we can't ever be together and I've put my energy into my W and my M and it's all starting to turn around. It will take some time, I know this from personal experience. I knew xmw for 7 years, our A spanned 2 years. It's been 18 months of NC/LC and there's still a lot unresolved between us and some days that still haunts me; I lost a lover, a friend, a confidant - it left a hole, but I remain steadfast to respect what I know is right for her, me, her family and my W. Doing the right thing is not always easy it can be brutally hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 I don't think it's intentionally consciously malicious, I think he's speaking from his point of pain and that's making him be selfish because he hurts and he wants you to heal his pain. Thing is it's been 10 years, the man most likely does love you dearly, nobody would hang on 10 years if they didn't. I know myself I still love xmw I just have learned to move-on and accept we can't ever be together and I've put my energy into my W and my M and it's all starting to turn around. It will take some time, I know this from personal experience. I knew xmw for 7 years, our A spanned 2 years. It's been 18 months of NC/LC and there's still a lot unresolved between us and some days that still haunts me; I lost a lover, a friend, a confidant - it left a hole, but I remain steadfast to respect what I know is right for her, me, her family and my W. Doing the right thing is not always easy it can be brutally hard. Isn't that the truth. It is brutally hard, the hardest thing I've ever done. But I have to, or it seriously is going to be the death of me. Circ...is your story on here? I'd really like to read about it. And again, THANK YOU. its very nice to get a man's perspective at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Oh yea... if you click on my name on this post you will get a menu and you can query all my past posts. You can see me go through the whole grief process :-/ I will say this though; I think there is one component of men that gets overlooked quite often, which is our innate sense of competitiveness. We don't like to be bested and we will fight our opponent to the bitter end. I say this because I think in a lot of these situations when push comes to shove men toggle the switch to become competitive against the OW (OW or MW), it sounds funny when I say it but I know deep within myself I even have done it. We can become brutally cold and polarized, almost like we're engaging in battle and refuse to lose, even if it has heavy costs emotionally, it's just how we are wired. I think a lot of what I see posted is this, men engaging in emotional battle, it's strange but you can see it if you look real carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Oh yea... if you click on my name on this post you will get a menu and you can query all my past posts. You can see me go through the whole grief process :-/ I will say this though; I think there is one component of men that gets overlooked quite often, which is our innate sense of competitiveness. We don't like to be bested and we will fight our opponent to the bitter end. I say this because I think in a lot of these situations when push comes to shove men toggle the switch to become competitive against the OW (OW or MW), it sounds funny when I say it but I know deep within myself I even have done it. We can become brutally cold and polarized, almost like we're engaging in battle and refuse to lose, even if it has heavy costs emotionally, it's just how we are wired. I think a lot of what I see posted is this, men engaging in emotional battle, it's strange but you can see it if you look real carefully. I think I know what your getting at. I'm not quite for sure if i'm reading you correctly, that the compeitivness is can come out even agaisnt the OW? Is that what i'm understanding, or no. It is quite late my time, so my eyes might be crossing. I will definitely read your posts! I really do appreciate your insight....so keep it coming!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 OH AND FYI... TONIGHTS UPDATE.... I went running.... no Stalker McStalkerton's, no screaming get the F*** out of here, not sqwating by trees, NO JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE!!! Just me, my ipod, my angry I hate men music. I ran 5 miles. I ran down to the 7-11 (convience store), got a KING SIZE snickers bar, ran back, and ate it....IN CELEBRATION OF MY ONE MONTH OF NC THAT I HAVE UPHELD!!!!!!:bunny: (and as always that is the irish bunny jig!!!) Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I am so proud of you! :bunny:HUG:bunny: You are a strong cookie. Do you know how it could have went. You are strong! Stay strong honey. He made his attempt and he failed. It might feel like a set back because you broke down but make sure you know he walked away empty handed. Let his spouse stroke his ego. Bravo! You need to throw yourself a party this weekend in celebration. Drink and stripper night! Link to post Share on other sites
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I think I know what your getting at. I'm not quite for sure if i'm reading you correctly, that the compeitivness is can come out even agaisnt the OW? Is that what i'm understanding, or no. It is quite late my time, so my eyes might be crossing. I will definitely read your posts! I really do appreciate your insight....so keep it coming!!! Me too... lol... As men we can shut off our feelings when we feel someone is an adversary. I think a lot of behaviors I read about are men switching into a protective mode and they become adversarial, it's not something I think women completely relate to so I'm having a hard time finding the words so I might need to think about how to word it correctly and come back and say it. Link to post Share on other sites
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