PhoenixRise Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Because you made it sound like she sent the kids away on purpose so he couldn't have access to them. Maybe I read it the wrong way or something, but it was the way it was posted. It isn't a problem at all, she did the right thing, yet there was something the way you posted it, like he told you she won't let me see the kids, kind of deal.. That's all. I read it the same way. Jessica posted (in her thread complaining about MM blame and victimization no less) in a way that cast MM as a victim of the big bad wife who is keeping him from seeing the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Drama, drama, drama. Your A with him is not defined by love but drama. I went and pulled up a post of yours from months ago to, I had hoped, show you something. I failed. Instead of the reaction I anticipated, I see more defensiveness and arrogance. The same attitude on display months ago. I can only conclude you LIKE this type of R. You have stayed and fomented and even defended it. For months - and that's just here on LS. Even this very thread is a question...and by question I mean "excuse seeking". You want to excuse his blaming you for everything...you don't need LS to give you the permission to excuse it away. Just do it. Yes Jess I believe you get what you want. Drama. Well, you got it. Good luck, given all the back and forth you're gonna need it. Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 how do you know this? Because HE told you?? So basically you're saying she's screwing him over, hiding the kids from him.. Don't you think it's atleast possible she asked a friend to take the kids so they wouldn't be exposed to what's been going on? To give her a break, to be alone and grieve or get mad, etc..without having the children around to see and hear all that's going on? Anyway, you're TOO invested in this, it isn't your marriage, how they handle it really isn't your concern. Even more so since (I think) you're waiting to see how this places out and if he begs you to take him back, you will. Agreed! How do OW manage to put such a sinister spin on every single thing the BW does or doesn't do? I doubt that the kids are staying with a friend for the sole purpose of being hidden away from the MM. Good Grief!! The poor woman's marriage is ending..she probably doesn't feel like she is in the right head space to care for her kids right now. And God knows MM is to busy serving his own selfish ass right now to be able to put the kids first either. Or maybe the atmosphere in their house right now is volitile and toxic and she is protecting her children by having them out of the house. MM is a selfish liar. Why do you continue to lap up the BS he is feeding you? Well thank God the wife isn't buying his crap anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 Drama, drama, drama. Your A with him is not defined by love but drama. I went and pulled up a post of yours from months ago to, I had hoped, show you something. I failed. Instead of the reaction I anticipated, I see more defensiveness and arrogance. The same attitude on display months ago. I can only conclude you LIKE this type of R. You have stayed and fomented and even defended it. For months - and that's just here on LS. Even this very thread is a question...and by question I mean "excuse seeking". You want to excuse his blaming you for everything...you don't need LS to give you the permission to excuse it away. Just do it. Yes Jess I believe you get what you want. Drama. Well, you got it. Good luck, given all the back and forth you're gonna need it. No honey I'm a smart girl, and I ALWAYS get what I want. I may post here, and ask for advice, but in the end, I formulate, and get what I want. My MM is at his parent's house tonight, telling them I'm the love of his life, but yet he's married to blah blah blah, but has fallen deep in love with me. Bottom line.....I WILL win. AS ALWAYS. But thanks for reading and thinking of lil ol me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 No honey I'm a smart girl, and I ALWAYS get what I want. I may post here, and ask for advice, but in the end, I formulate, and get what I want. My MM is at his parent's house tonight, telling them I'm the love of his life, but yet he's married to blah blah blah, but has fallen deep in love with me. Bottom line.....I WILL win. AS ALWAYS. But thanks for reading and thinking of lil ol me!!! Uhhh...what exactly is it you're going to win? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 No honey I'm a smart girl, and I ALWAYS get what I want. I may post here, and ask for advice, but in the end, I formulate, and get what I want. My MM is at his parent's house tonight, telling them I'm the love of his life, but yet he's married to blah blah blah, but has fallen deep in love with me. Bottom line.....I WILL win. AS ALWAYS. But thanks for reading and thinking of lil ol me!!! Unless you're a fly on the wall, you'll never know what conversation took place. Honestly, I highly doubt he's telling his parents what you think he's telling them. Anyway, you obviously have this (game) figured out and don't need my input. Good luck, you're going to need it once you get your 'prize.' Link to post Share on other sites
SidLyon Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Uhhh...what exactly is it you're going to win? Err ... read the first post in this thread... she is going to "win" the prize of a man who plays the victim and blames her for everything that goes wrong. ...and... da da ... it is exactly what she wants! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 I'm not sure why I posted that I always win. I do, but this isn't a game to me, and I have no idea where this is going. I apologize for coming across that way. I may be a bit defensive of MM's actions, but the truth is I haven't posted my part in what happened. During our fight, and through the week beforehand, I threatened to tell his wife about everything. I did hold it over his head in a way. So yes, he has since blamed me for everything, which IMO is wrong and misguided, but I have to give him a little leeway since I did essentially force the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I'm not sure why I posted that I always win. I do, but this isn't a game to me, and I have no idea where this is going. I apologize for coming across that way. I may be a bit defensive of MM's actions, but the truth is I haven't posted my part in what happened. During our fight, and through the week beforehand, I threatened to tell his wife about everything. I did hold it over his head in a way. So yes, he has since blamed me for everything, which IMO is wrong and misguided, but I have to give him a little leeway since I did essentially force the issue. Were you drinking lastnight? No offense, but your posts were all over the place ..This is more than being defensive! You say one thing, then say another. Look, don't stand in their way. If there's a chance they can work through this, allow them that opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 You posted this months ago...its your first post: I'm baffled by my MM's behavior since I told his W about our relationship. We spoke a few days after I emailed her, and he was very hurt. He met me, and we talked for about an hour. We didn't talk for week. I ended up checking in on him, because I was worried, and to be honest, I missed him. We ended up talking again, in depth. He said that he could not continue the lying, and that I needed to let him go. He said he didn't know what was going to happen with his M, but that he felt he could never trust me. There were a lot of tears and hugs, and it felt like a goodbye. We work together, and since then he has emailed me and come around to talk, but if I try to talk about personal things between he and I, I don't get a response. I'm not really sure what I want, but I would certainly like to understand him more. Is it normal for a MM to not hate you if you tell the W?? I do know I cannot be with him like before, but I haven't yet given up the hope that things will work out. Then you post this: I'm not sure why I posted that I always win. I do, but this isn't a game to me, and I have no idea where this is going. I apologize for coming across that way. I may be a bit defensive of MM's actions, but the truth is I haven't posted my part in what happened. During our fight, and through the week beforehand, I threatened to tell his wife about everything. I did hold it over his head in a way. So yes, he has since blamed me for everything, which IMO is wrong and misguided, but I have to give him a little leeway since I did essentially force the issue. I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen but how can you threaten to tell her what she already knows? And I won't bother to extensively point out that he was doing then what he is dong now...blaming her. Drama, drama, drama. Or a troll who forgets what she(?) posts. Later. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 (edited) Drama, drama, drama. Your A with him is not defined by love but drama . I went and pulled up a post of yours from months ago to, I had hoped, show you something. I failed. Instead of the reaction I anticipated, I see more defensiveness and arrogance. The same attitude on display months ago. I can only conclude you LIKE this type of R. You have stayed and fomented and even defended it. For months - and that's just here on LS. Even this very thread is a question...and by question I mean "excuse seeking". You want to excuse his blaming you for everything...you don't need LS to give you the permission to excuse it away. Just do it. Yes Jess I believe you get what you want. Drama. Well, you got it. Good luck, given all the back and forth you're gonna need it. I couldn't agree more, hence my comment about good luck to her. She reminds me so much of a friend of mine, and I've known this friend for 5 years (and have over the years stopped being good friends with her) because she is "a Jessica". She has been in the same drama-filled-but-convinced-it's-love relationship for the past 5 years and she is ALWAYS seeking advice (first clue your relationship is problematic, if you ALWAYS are needing advice about it). When she seeks advice though, in the heat of when it is obvious that this guy and situation is a mess, she agrees but then inevitably they have some grand discussion and he apologizes and "everything's good"....she has amnesia about the whole thing, she acts like she was just overreacting, she defends the indefensible and somehow spins it to make it seem like everyone else is just overreacting. Then things are good for a week or month until the next time....and so it continues. In the beginning I would listen and try to give my true advice and opinions but overtime her relationship became a drain to me as she was no fun to be around as all she did was talk about their problems, cry about their problems, ask for advice but stay in the situation and then make you seem like a "hater" for being exasperated or confused about why they're still together. It wore on our friendship and after a while she realized NO ONE wanted to hear about it anymore as she made these manifestos and reneged monthly and EVERYONE was tired of that roller coaster. Up to last summer she had some epic conversation with me (yet again ) summarizing all he has done for the past 5 years, all that she put up with, how she can do better, how he's holding her back in life, how she wants more for herself and I was ALMOST convinced that that might really be the end....but of course not...a few weeks later they were back together and she never mentioned another word to me about it and I truly realized that she will never leave that relationship or something very serious would have to happen before she does, even when you recite her own complaints back to her she spins it around to make it seem like it's not that bad....so I decided to leave her to her own devises and wish her well, as some part of her likes or can't leave that situation alone, she must be addicted to the drama and the breaking up and making up or something and nothing I or anyone else can do will help that, so God's speed! Edited September 18, 2011 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Because you made it sound like she sent the kids away on purpose so he couldn't have access to them. Maybe I read it the wrong way or something, but it was the way it was posted. It isn't a problem at all, she did the right thing, yet there was something the way you posted it, like he told you she won't let me see the kids, kind of deal.. That's all. No you read it the same way I read it. It is how she painted the picture that the BS was doing it to get even with WS. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 No honey I'm a smart girl, and I ALWAYS get what I want. I may post here, and ask for advice, but in the end, I formulate, and get what I want. My MM is at his parent's house tonight, telling them I'm the love of his life, but yet he's married to blah blah blah, but has fallen deep in love with me. Bottom line.....I WILL win. AS ALWAYS. But thanks for reading and thinking of lil ol me!!! Playing games with someone else's life always backfires. I really hope you get what you want...it is the least that should happen. Link to post Share on other sites
20Seconds Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I'm seeing someone who is the director of a large engineering firm. A guy who has asked me to go to Italy, who can take me to Napa or NYC on a whim, as he's proven Is this guy single? If so, can I get his number? Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Is this guy single? If so, can I get his number? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 :eek:Are Jessica and Daisy dating the same guy? Bolded: ??? Why does Jessica need to manipulate people? Ew.... I didn't even notice that. I am going to have to reread this thread now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 Were you drinking lastnight? No offense, but your posts were all over the place ..This is more than being defensive! You say one thing, then say another. Look, don't stand in their way. If there's a chance they can work through this, allow them that opportunity. Yes, definitely drinking. And fielding calls from him while playing a game online. Think they all ran together! I'm not standing in their way....he's finally taking real steps forward, and she's admitted she doesn't love him. He and I are slowly moving back toward one another. Things are good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 You posted this months ago...its your first post: Then you post this: I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen but how can you threaten to tell her what she already knows? And I won't bother to extensively point out that he was doing then what he is dong now...blaming her. Drama, drama, drama. Or a troll who forgets what she(?) posts. Later. Sweetheart, it's called having multiple D Days. We've had them in February, June, and now September. MM and I haven't stopped from day 1. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 Is this guy single? If so, can I get his number? :eek:Are Jessica and Daisy dating the same guy? Bolded: ??? Why does Jessica need to manipulate people? MM is not the guy I'm seeing who has the affluent lifestyle. Its another guy.....and yes, he's entirely single, super sweet, and just plain HOT!! I treat him badly, waiting around on MM. Link to post Share on other sites
kareena Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I have another thread about having yet another D day, that explains what happened in my situation. So MM has been told he has to move out. And apparently he has not been able to see his kids since everything went down. MM places ALL blame on me. I got his kids taken away, I'm ruining his life because of it, It's all MY fault. He plays the role of such a victim it's ridiculous. Is this a normal or common reaction? My MM hasn't left yet but a few months ago was his sons birthday and I got the same kind of reaction where he got too emotional and felt like he was walking out on his kids,and of course I was to blame..i'm really in no position to give advice since I'm still in the "discrete" part of the relationship but i think it is pretty normal in a way or another,that does not make it right or OK though. Link to post Share on other sites
26pointblue Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I know it for a fact! In fact, he's at his parent's tonight, telling them the news. Debbie Downer here, just sharing my own experience in case it could be what's going on with yours: my xMM's BS kicked him out after another D-Day & he went & lived on his own for awhile & told me he was meeting with his parents to 'break the news to them' when in reality he was begging & pleading to go back & telling her he would do whatever it took. She had already notified his parents of his cheating & said she wasn't going to put up with it anymore, & what he was really doing at his parents was listening to them yell at him for screwing up so bad & promising them he would do whatever it took to keep the family together. At the time, he told me something different . . . that he was telling them they were getting divorced & even telling them he was in love with me. [Of course they had already found out about me through his wife]. It was only after catching him in many lies & after he went back home & after talking to his wife that I pieced everything together & figured out all that was really happening. You say you're smart but you keep believing MM's lies & you go right back to hima fter he hurts you . . . again & again. Doesn't sound smart to me. I'm not saying that in this one instance he's lying just because my xMM was in this same situation, I'm saying, you are not being smart if you're believing everything he's saying & not realizing there could be alternative explanations. This man is a proven liar, cheater, & has proven that he is selfish & will hurt you. To stay involved with him at all is not smart. As far as always getting what you want . . . be careful what you wish for. It was at about this point in my own saga that I thought, hmmm, wait a minute, do I really want a man capable of this level of deception & hurt? Nah, I think I'll get out & find something better. I thought you were there too but now you're right there with him, rolling around in the mud. That's not a fun place to be but you keep diving right back in, so, nothing any of us will say can help you, even though you keep coming back & realizing we were right . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 Debbie Downer here, just sharing my own experience in case it could be what's going on with yours: my xMM's BS kicked him out after another D-Day & he went & lived on his own for awhile & told me he was meeting with his parents to 'break the news to them' when in reality he was begging & pleading to go back & telling her he would do whatever it took. She had already notified his parents of his cheating & said she wasn't going to put up with it anymore, & what he was really doing at his parents was listening to them yell at him for screwing up so bad & promising them he would do whatever it took to keep the family together. At the time, he told me something different . . . that he was telling them they were getting divorced & even telling them he was in love with me. [Of course they had already found out about me through his wife]. It was only after catching him in many lies & after he went back home & after talking to his wife that I pieced everything together & figured out all that was really happening. You say you're smart but you keep believing MM's lies & you go right back to hima fter he hurts you . . . again & again. Doesn't sound smart to me. I'm not saying that in this one instance he's lying just because my xMM was in this same situation, I'm saying, you are not being smart if you're believing everything he's saying & not realizing there could be alternative explanations. This man is a proven liar, cheater, & has proven that he is selfish & will hurt you. To stay involved with him at all is not smart. As far as always getting what you want . . . be careful what you wish for. It was at about this point in my own saga that I thought, hmmm, wait a minute, do I really want a man capable of this level of deception & hurt? Nah, I think I'll get out & find something better. I thought you were there too but now you're right there with him, rolling around in the mud. That's not a fun place to be but you keep diving right back in, so, nothing any of us will say can help you, even though you keep coming back & realizing we were right . . . But that's the thing, he hasn't lied to me. Not once. I kinda wish he had....would make it easier for me I think. I posted in another thread how I spoke to his wife for a few hours. She verified everything he's told me was in fact true. Just a very very difficult situation, but I think we're finally headed for closure, one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
26pointblue Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 But that's the thing, he hasn't lied to me. Not once. I kinda wish he had....would make it easier for me I think. I posted in another thread how I spoke to his wife for a few hours. She verified everything he's told me was in fact true. Just a very very difficult situation, but I think we're finally headed for closure, one way or another. I don't think so at all. I've taken a bit of time to re-read over some of your posts [not all of them] since you came here & your pattern with this MM just continues . . . as a previous poster said, it's a cycle of drama. He lets the affair quiet down while he works to stay with his wife & then he comes back to you for more [on the side] & you let him. You say you always get what you want but you do not have what you want right now [if you truly want him full-time . . . I question that you really do.] Instead, you let him have total control over your emotions. Your posts oscillate between being confused, sad, questioning, & downright smug & arrogant. You are all over the place. IMHO based on my own experience this is because you don't truly love him or yourself, you are caught in game-playing & you enjoy drama, & if you had him, you wouldn't want him. I say stop torturing yourself & just get rid of him for good, but, your own pattern says that you won't do that. You claim to go NC when he actually goes NC with you. Then as soon as he comes back, you let him. You never take your own power & say, come to me when you are a free man but rather you let him claim all the shots & then claim that you're 'winning'. If this is what you want to win, congratulations. Your life is what you make of it & this doesn't sound like a very happy life at all to me. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 26, Great posts! I agree with everything you wrote here. And to t/j just a second, I am enjoying watching you grow and evolve. You have truly been through a ton of crap and you are emerging as this confident, no-nonsense, funny woman. A woman of substance and worth. (Not saying before you weren't worthy). I just really have enjoyed watching you mature and wanted to say GREAT JOB to you! I know it hasn't been easy; I hope you can see the changes and see how much healthier emotionally you are now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 But that's the thing, he hasn't lied to me. Not once. I kinda wish he had....would make it easier for me I think. I posted in another thread how I spoke to his wife for a few hours. She verified everything he's told me was in fact true. Just a very very difficult situation, but I think we're finally headed for closure, one way or another. You need to go back and re read older threads of yours. Omitting truths is just as bad as lies. Link to post Share on other sites
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