steve3536 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Hi every one! Im21 and was with my gf for 3yrs. We broke up before ex-mass. We didn't talk until a couple of weeks ago. Im not goin to go on about the hurt and pain e.t.c everyone here knows what its like. So any she's been with a lad for a few months now, but since we`ve got back talking she says she still has feelings for me! So since then we`ve talked a good bit, bout us. But here`s the catch! She says she afraid things will go back to the way they were, i feel the same but thats not the catch. Shes still with him. and now i feel shes just giving me false hopes, she says she wont hurt him by breaking up with him just cause we think things might work out. Before we broke up things were horrible between us a lot of hurt-full stuff happened. So of course i went and totally lost the plot yesterday and said what she was at was`nt good enough. Is she just leading me on by telling me all this stuff and still being with him?? ive been hurt so bad before, and i told her to stop being a coward and make up her mind who she wanted. A lot of shouting went on and she hung up. I done what every lad does, i pressured her! She text me last nite to say good nite, and i didnt reply. I thought it would be better if i left it, havent heard from her since. So what do i do people??? Im at my wits end emotionally. I love her and it hurts seeing her with him. but what do i do. should i just leave it until she contacts me. Im totally lost and confused. And i think she wont make up her mind!!! Link to post Share on other sites
2ndConfusedfemale Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I think that you should take an emotional break from her. I don't know what yall situation is, but it is obvious that yall are going to end up the way that yall were if yall are ALREADY arguing. Why don't you both try being friends? Try seeing if you actually like each other on a platonic level. Take this time to see what REALLY went wrong in your relationship. Was it things that could change? And if they could change do you and/or her have the capacity to really change it? Is your relationship even worth trying to change? As far as the other guy goes, don't worry about him. He isn't the problem, she is. Don't try to pressure her to make up her mind. Right now you need to be thinking about yourself and what kind of person you are. Like why do you want her if she'd do this behind her boyfriend's back (would she do that to you if you were in his shoes?)? And why do you want someone who would string you along? Is this just your ego wanting to win, or is this your heart really needing her? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 She's seeing someone else. She shouldn't be talking about having feelings for you, even if that is the truth. It's unfair to you and certainly unfair to the man she is currently dating. Leave it be. Obviously you two are not ready to be friends. If she is not interested in getting back with you and is seeing someone else then stop all contact with her, even contact which she initiates. Otherwise you two will be shouting at each other again and you'll just feel worse and worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author steve3536 Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 thanks for the reply!! i appreciate it. We really get on great together when we plan to spend a day together or whenever we see each other. its me that gets annoyed when the next day shes with him. she says she wants to see if we can get on or if ive changed. And when i get annoyed that pushes her further away but i cant help it. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 she says she wants to see if we can get on or if ive changed. So she goes out with you as some kind of test while she's seeing someone else! How charming. Sounds to me like she's playing two guys here. Are you sure you want to get back with this girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author steve3536 Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 i think i do, but believe me im thinking the same lines as you. Ive said it to her plenty of times that she just wants the 2 of us, of course she said she wasnt blah e.t.c ive tried so hard to leave it, and succeeded by not texting or ringing her but in the end she always seems to get in contact. By seeing me out and coming over to me. I either want to sort it out or leave it altogether. Its hard trying to be friends when feelings are involved. She says one thing like ill ring you later, does she? NO! Why, cause she`d be with him. She wont make a decision but at the same time wont accept that if she cant that i just want to leave it be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author steve3536 Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 I appreciate your view!! Its nice to get a mature females opinion! By no means is it my ego trying to win. My heart has longed enough to try and sort this. I think your rite, we need a lot of space. Do u think it will do any good? I mean will it just be a case of us not talking for ages, then goin straight back to square 1? Or will she actually think about what she wants? I miss what we had but as u said we cant be friends. do u understend or do u think thats silly? I cant be friends when shes saying this and shes still with him. What do u think i should do or say to her before i take this break that i need. i dont think 7 months apart was enough. Things can change, we never worked at what we had, we just took each other for granted. Do u think shes stringing me along?? Link to post Share on other sites
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