Will I ever be in a relationship that works :(

[Hurting123]

I don't understand sometimes why I've been single for so long. I look back I had a 6 year relationship througout my college years but in the last 5 years I've managed only a hatful of 2-3month relationships that don't work.

 

I just don't get it.

People say I need to just take some time to be on my own. I feel like I have been on my own for a long time now.

 

Its just so hard for me to get that right balance to the point where I'm starting to think there is no balance.

 

I'm either chasing or getting chased in relationships and it always ends.

 

Either it's me feeling insecure or me feeling too secure.

 

The moment I realise I like a girl after 2-3 months I change. I get serious... And it hurts me because I attract the girls initially because I'm so chilled and funny and just fun. But then when I feel like this could be a good thing I want to make it more. Things that didn't bother me at all before.. Start bothering me. "you went out and got drunk with your friends and I didnt hear from you"

"you never call me.. I always call you"

I start to get so insecure.

 

And then when someone does take me seriously.. I start to lose interest.

And feel like its too easy.

 

I'm so Confused and exhausted about everything lately.

 

I always want what i can't have and I feel like my life is a piece of cheese dangling in front of me.

I want someone who

[thehead]

I don't mean to minimize what you're going through, but a lot of it sounds very familiar and common.

The upside is there are resources for handling them.

 

Get a therapist, read Self Help books, start looking into "attachment styles" if that would help any. Get to the root of your insecurities and your self-sabotaging behavior. IMO, you're self-sabotaging by pulling away when someone likes you too much. It could also be fear of intimacy but only you'll know by learning more about both.

 

If you're self aware enough to recognize these issues, take responsibility about fixing them for your own happiness.

 

Good luck, man. We're all works in progress. You're no more a project than anyone else.