Babyribs Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Just when i thought i could get better, i run into a lady who said she saw her at the mall and she was with her "friend" the 20 year old i have been talking about, and she said she looked very happy, i hate this, why do i have to be hurting and she can be so happy. did she ever love me at all? what can i do to not care. Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 theres not really much u can do but deal with the pain, until it slowly subsides..i guess..theres no miracle that can erase ure thoughts and feelings..it takes time...as for now try not to think about her being happy and u down...maybe ure down now..but u can also be happy if u start working at it..who knows maybe whenure happy then that 20year old guy will dump her and she will be down..then the tables will turn!!! jsut take care of YOURSELF...try not to talk to people who will tell u what shes doing, try to avoid knowing whats up with her cuz like the say "eyes that dont see, heart that dont feel"...its going to take u a long time to get over her, but it wont be impossible..as crazy as that sounds cuz u think u will 4ever luv her.. but just do things u enjoy... gym, go to church, go clubbing, listen to UPBEAT music lik e-DONT WANT U BACK from Eamon!!!...and just think positive....also put a date in the calender that u will be closer to getting over her..like cross out each day that u dont talk to her..and keep that calender close..and make that be ure motivation..as ure only getting clsoer to forgetting her... also know that ure not alone, everyone who has lost there loves have felt lost, confused and felt that we would NEVER ever get over them, or taht they were the one..eventually one day we snap out of it cuz we see all the **** they put us through and we see how one-sided it was..and we realize it wasnt worth it..and theyre not worth it..and thats when u begin to be selfish and think about only YOU!!! it takes time, no one said its easy to get over someone u love...its one of the hardest things..but God has a plan for ure life..and if shes on it ...theres nothing u can do to change that..u must move on..for ure own sanity!!..dont think of anyone else but YOU right now, and i know u love her but ure hurting ureself by tryin to contact her cuz shes rejecting u.... hold on tight!!! u will make it through.,.i promise!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 i know you're right about it, but man does it hurt, knowing shes so happy. the only think i can think of is that she's putting up a front for her new man, i want a girl, a girl who can just date me right now no sex or anything like that just friends, someone i can talk to and vent with. i want this enxiety to end and i want to go back to work tomorrow because i keep my mind busy, today i am off and all i can do is talk and think about the woman who broke my heart for no reason, but who cares i am trying to keep this attitud so i can forget about her. thank you, BUT PLEASE KEEP TALKING TO ME, it helps me so much to make it through the day, i cant breath right now and i cant think. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 gosh im really sorry ure feeling this way.. it does really suck... especially seeing the girl u love with another man..a man who is most likely not even worth it.. but honestly shes the stupid one..as hard as that is for you to see.. whenu love soemone u really feel like maybe u did something wrong and no matter how much u wanna get mad at them..its hard..u just end up forgiving them and givin it another shot.. but trust me she is NOT worth it..right now its hard for u to see this..but months from now u will be glad its over!!! u have to keep ureself busy, join a gym or something..the best REVENGE is to move on and be happy... not that im tellin u to seek revenge...but it would really help u out... just write ure feelings down...poems, songs, whatever and please download the video "DONT WANT YOU BACK" from EAMON!! u will love it!!! take a bubble bath...tell ureself that ure much better then her, even if u dont believe ure words, eventually u will... Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 sometimes we cling to soemone who rejects us..why i dont know??? eventaully we snap out of it though..and we become the rejecters!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 i cant wait for that moment, the moment she runs into me and remember what we had, i think i would be the one dying but if there were any feelings at all she will feel something too. it has been 3 weeks and 3 days and i am hurting again, last night i had a great upper because i ran into my friends at work and they made me feel great but after everything she did i cant believe i can forgive her and still love her. OMG i am sooooo desperate i wish she would call me and hung up i wish she would drive infront of my house so i can see her, i wish she would just email me, send me a message something show some caring sign, i am sure she knows i am dying over here she knew how much i loved her. Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Buddy i know that you think you wanna see ehr and wish she would call but you are actually better off this way. My ex girlfriend still "cares" about me, we still talk and see each other maybe twice a week....i kno you think that would be nice but trust me you are going to be over her way before i am over mine. Every time i see her its like i just want to hold her and kiss her but i cant. And every time she tries to make me happy i think wow maybe she still has feelings and then she does something totally opposite to make me think wow she doesnt love me anymore....Its a friggen roller coaster ride and she has me clinging onto every word she says...I kno its not healthy for me i should just let go but like most the people here I love her and i cant let go..i keep think ing maybe shell come around and then ill hear oh she lied to me about this and oh she really didnt love me for this long. Im so confused and every day is like hell. until i talk to her then i feel better for like an hour. then i go back to hoping maybe and then i go back to realizing she doesnt love me anymore and we are over........ALMOST EVERYDAY I GO THROUGH THIS I know it hurts but i truly believe you are in a better and much healthier situation than me...Just be strong and confident and dont look back. If you need anything im here for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 i guess only time will tell, i cant say i wont get over her, i know i will but right now this chest pain and this anxiety is killing me, i havent heard from her, i havent seen her and thats just driving me insane, man i am just dying over here. i need some sleeping pills so i can sleep this time away. someone please help, tell me what to think, tell me what to do, and please help me understand that this is over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 another thing does anyone believe after reading all my story that she will contact me, and if so when? how? will she?? Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 hey everyone. Its been a little over 2 weeks now since I havent spoken to my ex. She broke up with me about 2 months ago but spoke weekly till about 2 weeks ago. Ive been so anxious and upset these past two months and reading everyones posts has been very helpful. The last time I spoke to her she said maybe we can go out to dinner and I said to let me know when. I havent heard from her since and I havent called her either even though I want to everyday. I do have my pride though. We were together for about 31/2 years and broke up because she "wants to see what else is out there". She has only been with me and is 22 (im 26). I guess I can understand that but its still hard. She was a real bitch when she broke up with me. I saw her like a month ago at a bar and she was very effectionate and said she loved me and missed me. I keep having these thoughts of her being with someone else and it makes me sick, anxious and I feel like my heart actually hurts. You know whats funny though? I remember so many times when I was with her that I didnt want to be with her. Its so weird how when someone breaks up with you, you want them so bad. I'm not sure if Its my ego or its that I love her or both. Now I think about her everyday and want to call her, meanwhile when we were together, I didnt care that much. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Even though I have my friends, Ive been feeling lonely without her and I cant get rid of that feeling. Im trying to keep busy but I dont feel very happy doing anything. Im always checking my phone to see if she called. Its so weird cus I know shes not worth my suffering but I cant help it. I do know that if I call her and show her how much Im thinking about her, it will only backfire and she will want me less so Im making a conscious effort not to do that. There are days that I want to pass by her house and ask her to hang out but I dont cus I wouldnt be able to stand the rejection, also maybe some other guy will be there. I really dont think shes jumping into another relationship but who knows........ Ive asked her so many times but she keeps insisting that she hasnt even kissed anyone. God, I hate this feeling. I guess there are so many of us in the same situation or similar and it all comes down to us accepting what has happened and trying to let it go and if they come back they will come back. We have to decide whether we really want this person back or do we want them cus they broke up with us. Im still not sure where I am. Alright, I bored you guys enough. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I wish I could tell you, cause then maybe you could tell me when my x would contact me. Let it go, this is your only life. Don't waste it on tormenting yourself. I should know, it is exactly what I have been doing. If it is ment to be it will be, (i hate that f***ng saying) but it is the case. You can't change someone's mind, but you can change your own. There are books and other sources on how to fall out of love. I am about ready to read one. Amazing how a person can care about someone who treats them like dirt, or whatever. I was told that her heart didn't want my love. Like a fool I still love her. I am not desperate or insecure, just in love with someone who isn't in love with me right now, she's mad. But anger can't last forever. Love can if it's ment to be.........I have hope, but don't let it turn into denial..good luck, your not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 you and i feel around the same feelings the difference is that i cant contact her because of an order of protection she has on me so all i am waiting for is for her to contact me, and how long is going to take for her to brake if she does, i wonder so many things and i am hurting really bad because everything i see and hear we saw and heard together and now i dont have her anymore, it wasnt even that she told me she didnt want to be with me she just put me in jail. and i still love her very much and miss her with all of my heart and i wish someone can answer will she ever contact me? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 no one can answer that. Time. I don't have thr restraining order, but if I pushed and violated her privacy I'm sure I would. You are better off to take a step back and think about the strenght you will realize you have by not contacting her. I have the two dogs we owned together. Talk about emmotional triggers. I feel your pain.It is real as it gets. But somewhere out the are people with bigger problems that would laugh at us and change places in a heart beat. Think, life is not very good right now, but who but yourself can change it for you. I'm trying to be hopeful yet realistic, you should do the same. Take it one day at a time, don't think to far ahead.it doesn't help. I know Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 i agree with you, but we are feeling this and i am sure i would trade with anyone right away, emotional hurt is the worst pain there is and noone but time can take it away but everyday feels like an eternity. and the more time i spend away from her the more i seem to be hurting (is that a part of healing?) i dont know but i do hope so, maybe today i am desperate maybe tomorrow i will be better who knows Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 God, she just signed on aol im and didnt even say hi. Now my analytical mind starts working. What does this mean? Is she with someone else? Does she not want to talk to me? She will never want to get back together now, she didnt say hi. Im crazy right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 maybe she just didnt feel like talking because she doesnt want to give you false hope, dont take that personal just hang in there if she ever loved you at all she will talk to you at some point (thats what i am holding on to) Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I analyze everything...every thing she says, every time she accidentally touches me , everytime she does say hi or doesnt say hi.... Thats the greatness of her keeping me on a string, and not officially ending it...i think every move she makes means something Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 Its all a game they want us to chase them and we cant do that, eventually i believe they will regret it like everyone does and come back running at this point we know what to do, we all have broken up with someone at some point or the other and sometimes they keep bnothering us when we need that space to breath and splore and we just start not to like them anymore because they dont give us that, so what we need to do is accept that is over and continue to live and wait till they brake and if it never happends then that means we are so much better off Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 thats the thing though, we have been talking since we broke up 2 months ago. The last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago and she said maybe we'll get together for dinner one of these days. I havent called her since and neither has she. But everyday that goes by, I count it against the relationship. Thats what happens when you leave it open for contact cus you leave yourself vulnerable for this ****. Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 We just talked for like an hour online....god it was great too...great conversation...i found out she really didnt lie to me about something i thought she did... god it sucks tho she makes me feel like i still matter...when i kno i dont i kno everyone preaches the no contact but i have no strength i cant just not talk to her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 people dont give in the more you give in the weaker we look to them and they will take us for granted Lets just wait and see Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 thats definitely true, these people feed off of you chasing them. The more you show your weakness, the more they take advantage and their heads swell. The colder you are, the more they wonder why you are acting this way. Its messed up, buts thats how the game works. This usually works with anyone, the more attention you pay to them, the more they are turned off - especially when you come out of a breakup. Thats why we must stay strong in those weak times cus all it takes is one weak moment and you throw it all away. Then you will have to start from scratch. I know its hard, believe me. Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Ive screwed up countless times already Thats the thing though she knows how much i want to be together if all a sudden id stop talking now...shed possibly take notice, but im so weak i need to hear her voice i need to know about her day...i just miss her all the time she was everything i had Link to post Share on other sites
Author Babyribs Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 I understand where you are coming from, i am in the same situation you are in i miss her desperately and cant stop thinking about her but if i call i would give her the upper hand and if she call me then i know i have it, trust me i want to call her i have been 2 inches away from dialing her number but i always think about it and say to myself NO i wont call she did this to me this hurt, this loneliness, this torment i have, it was all her i didnt ask for it and i sure didnt want it, but here i am hurting like always but i wont call her NO WAY she has to look for me first and then we'll see, at this point after 3 weeks and 4 days without seeing her or talking to her i hurt but i feel a lot more independent and happy most of the times, i remember being in a relationship that was driving me insane, there was just so much i didnt like but yet i hurt, why? because i didnt brake it, it was her who did it. and being dumped always hurts the person who got dumped and the other one knows this so they are happy untill we can proof we are being as happy as we can be without them, so in my own words, i love her and i miss her with all of my heart but i will not make contact and i will not look for her, i am working on me and me only noone else I AM ALL THAT MATTERS to me right now. so try doing the same, the more you think about it and look for them the more you will hurt when they tell you "dont you understand is over" think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 that was very on point. Link to post Share on other sites
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