"Men Don't Know What They Want"

[madjac74]

Damn! I guess I need a new pick up line.

 

Try this one...."Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

[aj22one]

Try this one...."Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

 

Or any of these:

[AHardDaysNight]

Just saying "gatekeeper" reduces your chance of having sex by like 300%

 

"I am the keymaster. Are you the gatekeeper?"

 

Who you gonna call?

[PhillyDude]

i know what i want

 

a cute female in her mid 20's to visit me every other saturday so we can make out and talk. Then on the days when I don't see her I will watching sports, writing on my blog, spending time with friends, and trying to figure out ways to advance in my career.

[AHardDaysNight]

Damn, I was beat to it!

 

But yeah, I know what I want, too.

 

Getting what I want, however, is much, much more difficult than just knowing.

[omkara]

Just saying "gatekeeper" reduces your chance of having sex by like 300%

 

"He's putting the pussy on a pedestal."

[madjac74]

Haha! OMG that is the perfect movie for loveshack guys

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Just saying "gatekeeper" reduces your chance of having sex by like 300%

 

He has a point.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I'm 29. Why do you want to know?

 

Because I thought you're post sounded immature and you really have exploited the worst stereotypes about men within it but preached it with all the youthful immaturity of someone that is proud of that level of lack of accomplishments within personal relationships. Alas, you are not that young after all and it makes me a touch sad.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You just reduced it by 500% by ****ing quoting Ghostbusters! Haha

 

Dude, I thought it was cool! Whoever doesn't like Ghostbusters is just lameballs.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

i know what i want

 

a cute female in her mid 20's to visit me every other saturday so we can make out and talk. Then on the days when I don't see her I will watching sports, writing on my blog, spending time with friends, and trying to figure out ways to advance in my career.

 

You don't want a relationship then. Relationships are about give and take. Yours is just about take.

[Woggle]

When men meet somebody they want to have a relationship with they go for it but it is so rare to meet somebody worth it. I committed to a worthwhile woman and a close friend did. What some women don't seem to get is that it is just as hard for a good and moral man out there as it is for a good woman. You look around and sometimes you feel it isn't worth it.

 

For the record I don't believe in that gatekeeper stuff. Both genders should learn self control.

[Titania22]

Wow, that is the first time I've ever heard a woman describe my type as something that they actually want.

 

 

It's not the 1st time somedude, I expressed that months ago.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Baka! (Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Soul Eater)

 

You are shooting yourself in the foot by doing that. You say you like awkward guys but don't give them a chance to warm up to you. Also the guys who would want a relationship aren't going to try to sleep with you right away.

 

I think you've turned away many men would have wanted a relationship with you but they moved too slow for you.

 

So you weeded them all out and left only the guys who just want sex.

 

I just wanted to make that point before I have lunch. I'll address the rest later.

 

This is dead on. and I agree completely.

 

I'm looking for a relationship, and I weed out guys who hit on me hard right away because they aren't usually looking for a serious relationship. Mostly just sex and 'see where it goes' kinda guys. Not what I'm looking for.

[ThsAmericanLife]

For the record I don't believe in that gatekeeper stuff. Both genders should learn self control.

 

Ditto. I'd like to feel that the guy isn't going to give in to the first willing female he's attracted to if I commit to him too. The only way he can really prove that to me is by showing some restraint with me in the beginning. It works both ways.

[Titania22]

 

In the beginning, a man should work for it. The number one thing a man wants from any woman is sex. That is what drives us. For some men, they feel unfilled when a woman makes it too easy.

 

There is a reason men don't shoot bucks that are in pens.

 

Now once a man is actually in a relationship he should not have to work as hard for it because he already has his prize. But the problem with married men not getting laid any more is that some women think that they no longer have to "put out" because they got the guy. Odds are those women never wanted sex.

 

 

To me this is the problem. You guys wanting the challenge, when the fact is the girls who are hard to get, don't like sex, which is why they are hard to get.

 

That's why when I was younger I had guys all interested. And that is also why even a few years back I had guys friends who I wasn't interested in, trick themselves into believing I was just waiting for them to prove their worth.

 

Also I agree with the OP, it sucks being really attracted to someone and then having to pretend you aren't really interested. Personally I can't do it. If I am feeling it, I want to go with that, rather then suppressing my desires.

 

If you guys want to have a healthy amount of sex in your relationships, she should stop rejecting women who aren't being all chaste and coy with you.

 

I personally don't sleep around with tons of guys, if I do have an attraction to someone I am seeing and follow that through, it is incorrect to assume I am doing that with hundreds of other men too.

[rafallus]

Also the guys who would want a relationship aren't going to try to sleep with you right away.

Not true. I know directly several guys who met their partners after ONS. They are actually getting married/living with each other/have children coming.

 

BTW what does "trying to sleep with somebody" even means? Either two parties are willing, or not. If not, then trying would quickly land into creeper territory.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Thanks for elaborating on this for me bud. I don't see how people don't get it. Why would someone put so much sexual energy into someone with whom you know won't go anywhere? Instead, use that sexual energy into finding someone who you're compatible with. I think that's a subtle but important factor here.

 

Yes, it can make someone feel more confident..sexually. It simply means you'll become more confident that men find you screw-able. But that absolutely does not translate into confidence that a man will find you emotionally compatible. (After all, isn't the issue of how 'men always find me bangable, but not datable, one of the biggest ones out there?)

 

And spot on with the crush as well. If you want a man romantically, evoke his feelings. Not his penis.

 

These have been excerpts from "Man 101" which will be hitting the shelves October 28th.

 

Perhaps the OP should be happy that she is "screw-able"... and screw-able multiple times and routinely. I think most youngsters (sorry Disenchantedly Yours... anyone under 30 is a youngster to me)... start out wanting to be screwable, and then realize that's not quite enough.

 

So, she can check the box (no pun intended!) on her physical attractiveness... and get to work on appealing to a man's OTHER brain.

 

Thanks guys!!

 

oh, on a side note.. it was right around this same age I came to the revelations you two illustrated. 26 exactly. Seems like a rite of passage for alot of people.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Not true. I know directly several guys who met their partners after ONS. They are actually getting married/living with each other/have children coming.

 

BTW what does "trying to sleep with somebody" even means? Either two parties are willing, or not. If not, then trying would quickly land into creeper territory.

 

you mentioned you live in another country? Somewhere in Europe? I'm asking because I know for sure there are cultural differences that affect how people view sex early in a relationship.

 

Alot of Europeans don't seem to carry the whore/madonna stigma around.

[oaks]

Ditto. I'd like to feel that the guy isn't going to give in to the first willing female he's attracted to if I commit to him too. The only way he can really prove that to me is by showing some restraint with me in the beginning. It works both ways.

 

I like that.

[ThsAmericanLife]

To me this is the problem. You guys wanting the challenge, when the fact is the girls who are hard to get, don't like sex, which is why they are hard to get.

 

That's why when I was younger I had guys all interested. And that is also why even a few years back I had guys friends who I wasn't interested in, trick themselves into believing I was just waiting for them to prove their worth.

 

Also I agree with the OP, it sucks being really attracted to someone and then having to pretend you aren't really interested. Personally I can't do it. If I am feeling it, I want to go with that, rather then suppressing my desires.

 

If you guys want to have a healthy amount of sex in your relationships, she should stop rejecting women who aren't being all chaste and coy with you.

 

I personally don't sleep around with tons of guys, if I do have an attraction to someone I am seeing and follow that through, it is incorrect to assume I am doing that with hundreds of other men too.

 

I've made the same argument for years. Problem is, we've got a few hundred years of social conditioning here in the US working against us.

 

I always thought it was funny, that men didn't want to marry 'sluts' (or what they consider sluts), then they complain after the fact that they never get sex. Hmmm....

 

After trying to buck this convention for years, I came around to the idea that waiting a bit really isn't such a bad idea... at least long enough to solidify expectations. That shouldn't be too tough even for people with a high sex drive... and I am.

[Nexus One]

Because I thought you're post sounded immature and you really have exploited the worst stereotypes about men within it but preached it with all the youthful immaturity of someone that is proud of that level of lack of accomplishments within personal relationships. Alas, you are not that young after all and it makes me a touch sad.

 

Then you completely misinterpreted my post. I've been writing about wanting a meaningful relationship on this forum for over six months now, but you judge me on the basis of this one post.

 

Many if not most guys want to pull f*ck and runs. They're not interested in relationships with women. It's not just a stereotype. Where else do you think the 50% cheating rate comes from? I'm one of two guys I know that actually wants a relationship. I'm also one of three guys I know that doesn't cheat and has never cheated.

 

You say my post implied as if I'm proud of f*cking around randomly with women. Bullsh*t. I feel for women that a lot of guys are like that. That youthful immaturity that you're talking about is me being genuine. I don't like to hold back so I throw around a few curse words to make my post flow a bit better. To make people feel the sh*t I'm writing.

 

That being said I'm not the kind of guy you're painting me to be. I'm not that guy that goes looking around for easy p*ssy. Like I said I'm looking for a meaningful relationship.

 

I really dislike it when people judge others without knowing jack sh*t about them. Nothing in my post implied that I myself am the "stereotype" I was talking about in my post. You just grabbed that out of thin air.

[rafallus]

you mentioned you live in another country? Somewhere in Europe? I'm asking because I know for sure there are cultural differences that affect how people view sex early in a relationship.

 

Alot of Europeans don't seem to carry the whore/madonna stigma around.

Yes. Poland, more specifically.

 

Yet, I doubt part I'm referring to is cultural. When someone says "trying to have sex with sb", I just imagine a creepy guy forcing himself on an indifferent woman. In reality, I have never seen/had it happening that way. More like two parties stumble on each other and get more and more "cuddly" over time.

 

Many if not most guys want to pull f*ck and runs. They're not interested in relationships with women. It's not just a stereotype. Where else do you think the 50% cheating rate comes from? I'm one of two guys I know that actually wants a relationship. I'm also one of three guys I know that doesn't cheat and has never cheated.

No, not really.

 

Guys I know are at least open to idea of having a relationship with at least seemingly worthwhile woman. And while most of them talk about girls like they are macho, it's just an act, and they end up with first woman that, again, at least seems worthwhile.

 

Guys having multiple ONS in a row, playing girls like they are fiddle, then pulling hit and run, are pretty much in minority throughout people I know.

Edited September 17, 2011 by rafallus

[Nexus One]

No, not really.

 

Guys I know are at least open to idea of having a relationship with at least seemingly worthwhile woman. And guys having multiple ONS in a row, playing girls like they are fiddle, then pulling hit and run, are pretty much in minority.

 

Women are going to get burned by men if they believe that. You can all believe what you want. I too thought the 50% cheating statistic was exaggerated, until I started talking about it to guys and I was shocked the percentage pretty much reflected reality if not worse. We're not talking about players here, this is across all layers of society. 50% of all men.

 

I'd be the first one to defend men if the truth of the matter was different, but it isn't.

Edited September 17, 2011 by Nexus One

[aj22one]

Women are going to get burned by men if they believe that. You can all believe what you want. I too thought the 50% cheating statistic was exaggerated, until I started talking about it to guys and I was shocked the percentage pretty much reflected reality if not worse. We're not talking about players here, this is across all layers of society. 50% of all men.

 

I'd be the first one to defend men if the truth of the matter was different, but it isn't.

 

Interesting. In my social group I don't know a single guy who's cheated. Plenty have had ONS or FWBs but none has admitted to cheating. About half don't have the means to cheat (i.e. they settled for the first girl who would have them) and the other half "seems" to not have the inclination. Perhaps the group that I hang with are outside the norm though.

 

Aside from that though, I have long suspected that men were more likely to cheat than women. I figured roughly 33-50% of men cheated or were seeing 2 or more women at the same time (women who believed they were in monogamous relationships) which caused there to be more single men out there than single women (hence all the lonely single/virgin men that come to LS).