TxTechGirl04 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Well my story starts off like this...he broke up with my 3 days before our one year anniversary. We have been fighting A LOT for several months and every time we'd fight I would get really upset, cry, and act like a nut basically...finally I guess he just got enough of it! I am devestated. I gave everything to him and I feel like he walked away from our relationship leaving me with nothing. He asked me not to call and told me that he has no feelings for me and that he doesn't miss me at all! Its only been a week since we have broken up...I did call him and we would talk then or call me back...I just don't know what to do! How can you just not love someone anymore? How can you not have any feelings for someone you have been so seriously involved with. I thought he was perfect, and I am truly hurting! Please Help! Any advice from the men on how I should react would be wonderful. I am not expecting to get him back, but I would like to know how I could at least increase my chances of having some sort of relationship with him! Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelystar Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 It will take time, but you will stop. Hang out with friends and do other things to keep your mind off him. Don't call him anymore either, it will only hurt you. Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Just think...someday this will pass and you will be happy again.....daydream about your independance and your new life. Dye your hair, try new clothes, like a "pick me up".` Link to post Share on other sites
Becks84 Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 This EXACT thing happened to me, and for the longest time I blamed it on myself, because I too would over react, get moody, and when we would fight I would become very emotional, to the point where he didn't want to deal with it any more. This breaking up out of the clear blue and being suddenly over you, probably isn't as sudden as it seems. He must have been thinking about it for awhile but just didnt say anything and waited to see if his feelings about it would change. Yea, he should have come to you about it, but that part cannot be explained. Sometimes males and females have a real tough time communicating effectively. (I suggest you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"! Very helpful book!) I know you can't see past miserable right now, but one day you will look back and be so thankful that you no longer feel all of that pain and be so glad that you are happy again! I also hope with time that you realize you are not to blame! We cannot blame ourselves entirely for other's actions. (I have read two books just on this topic...Maybe another good book for you to check out would be "The Four Agreements".) Work on realizing that this guy's actions are all his own and you cannot blame yourself. Don't wonder what you could have done different, because the fact is if you guys broke up and are going to stay broken up, it would have happened eventually anyway, no matter how you acted. The "what-ifs" and all of the wondering are enough to drive a person crazy, so you need to try not to go that route! It's going to be real hard for awhile, I won't lie about that. Lean on a good friend, maybe someone who can relate. I was fortunate enough to have a good friend who had been through the same thing. Also, trust that life will work itself out! It has a funny way of doing that. Best wishes; keep us posted. -becks Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Sorry you're hurting. My best advice is not to look for any kind of relationship with him. You're way too into him for a friendship. And it doesn't sound like he wants anything more. By your own description, you two were arguing alot and you would act nuts after arguments. However you felt for him, the relationship wasn't a very good one. Maybe you were emotionally dramatic, but he was probably withdrawing emotionally, making that worse. In a relationship, it takes two to really mess things up. He's probably going to be nice to you if you contact him (unless you act all crazy), but that doesn't mean he's having doubts about the breakup. As others here have said, he was probably thinking about doing it for awhile, but put it off because of how emotional you are about him. You can show him he misjudged you, and regain some of your trampled pride / dignity, by moving on from this, lesson learned. You might also use this as an opportunity to get a more solid emotional foundation, one that doesn't rely on a guy or a relationship for definition. If you'd had that, you probably wouldn't have gotten so crazy / desperate at times. Not judging here. I think most women, especially younger women, have been through this at one time or another -- me included. This will get better. Make healing yourself, not getting in touch with him, your priority. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 i wouldnt call..if he really wants to talk to you let him call you. thats what i did and he called. but that doesnt mean we're getting back together. It just takes time and if its meant to be then itll be. So just sit back and watch time take its course Link to post Share on other sites
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