duhduhduhdan Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I posted a thread about 3 moths ago about how can I improve my self confidence ect... and after a few talks it was kinda like decided I would go get some new clothes and a hair cut ect... So I did all those things, I spent almost £150 on new clothes. Afterwards I started going out more, I've been talking a bit more. I only started college 2 weeks ago and tried to talk to new people and make new friends. But there is a BIG but.... Nothing has changed, except I now have less confidence in myself than I did before, I tried making new friends, that didn't work, I got a new style and stuff, no one noticed, commented or really even seemed to care. I failed at it all, which isn't really surprising I guess, and because I failed it's nocked my confidence even more now, to the point where I just cry to myself all the ****ing time... it's horrible and i'm sick to death of it, I have to cover up all the cuts on my arms or people laugh at me... HELP ME!! Please! What else can I do Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hello dan, I remember your original post. That you're despairing to the point of crying often, worries me. And that you're feeling like a failure, feeling lower than before, concerns me even more. I sense you need real world support in the form of a school counselor or therapist. He or she could talk to you at length about what's contributing to all this sadness. Yes, I know you feel left out and unattractive. But you've also voiced additional feelings of inadequacy that can't be adequately addressed here. A therapist is trained and licensed to be of help for just such problems. The two of you could spend a good 50 minutes talking and finding solutions. It could be very helpful. Would you be open to talking to someone? I'd love for your problems to get the attention they deserve. You shouldn't be suffering so. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Hey Dan I guess all I can start off with is as you grow older, it gets better. I'm 20 now, but I remember being 16 and hating myself. I felt like I was trapped in my body because it didn't represent who I wanted to be. I was about 20 pounds underweight with scoliosis, gynecomastia, stretch marks on my lower back from my 6 inch growth spurt, and I always had a few pimples to just finish off my confidence. I was able to get along with people, but never was I able to make actual friends with anyone. Despite all of this I was able to receive a lot of attention from girls, but in the end it never really made me feel any better. The problem was about how I felt about myself, so the only person that could fix that was me. I guess what I noticed from my time in high school is that as soon as I stopped caring about fitting in, people started to become drawn to me. You will be much more respected by people if you choose to be a lone wolf, rather then going through some initiation to fit in with a group of friends. People are more attracted to those they respect. Anyway, high school has been over for a few years now [thank god], but honestly I can say which each day it slowly gets better. We all go through stages of growth where we feel like a flower that hasn't bloomed, but it is important to realize that it isn't permanent. I no longer get pimples, I fixed my scoliosis with weight training, my stretch marks faded, and my gynecomastia went away as I aged. I'm no longer as skinny as I was in high school, but have adapted a bit of a runners physique. Is it exactly who I envision myself to be? Of course not, but I have accepted that and grown to love myself for who I am now. It all gets better, and life goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
Imageiko Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Other than speaking to a therapist I'd recommend exercising. Either joining a gym or an inter-mural sports team. I'd do both if I were you, the gym will get you in better shape and once you start noticing the changes you'll become more confident and an inter-mural sports team is a great way to meet new people. Do you have any sports you're interested it? It doesn't really matter if you're good at a sport or not there are teams for all levels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author duhduhduhdan Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Would you be open to talking to someone? No, This took a lot of guts to do, just to tell people, i'd rather just tell someone my problems like this, and they they give me solutions... i really couldn't deal with a one on one lenthy chat, i hate it so much! Other than speaking to a therapist I'd recommend exercising. Either joining a gym or an inter-mural sports team. I'd do both if I were you, the gym will get you in better shape and once you start noticing the changes you'll become more confident and an inter-mural sports team is a great way to meet new people. Do you have any sports you're interested it? It doesn't really matter if you're good at a sport or not there are teams for all levels. And if you read my other thread i cant reli excersise properly due to physical conditions and stuff Link to post Share on other sites
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