no contact is the only way to heal

[dazednconfuzed]

My girlfriend and first love dumped me cuz she needed space blah blah blah, but she wanted to remain friends. Even though I never saw our breakup coming and was terribly hurt, I agreed to be there for her and be her friend. I understood she was going through a very hard time. As time passed, I realized that just being her friend was impossible for me to do. My feelings were way too strong. I still got butterflies every time I saw her. I missed her terribly and sat at home alone and sobbed several times. We'd never hang out, but she would call me almost every night and talk to me about her other friends ... one in particular who liked her. After weeks of wrestling with my emotions, not sleeping well, and being aloof to her over the phone, I knew the situation had to change. Then, she forgot my birthday and things came to a head. She brought me one dozen roses to apologize for not being around and asked me to let out whatever I was feeling ... I told her to take a hike. I told her she had been a lousy friend ... she insisted that she cared and then tried to make me feel guilty for throwing away our friendship. I told her our friendship was not worth fighting for, that she clearly had other priorities and that I didn't want her to call anymore. I am new to this city and I don't have any friends yet ... if you think telling her not to call was easy for me, think again. But it was the right thing to do. All I could see was her heading in the direction of another love interest ... even though she insisted that all she was looking for was friends. I am attractive. I am intelligent. I am affectionate. And I was more than willing to fight for this girl. But she did not want me to fight for her.

 

She couldn't understand why I would throw away our friendship ... I can't understand why I allowed myself to suffer so long by feeling that I had to be her friend. No contact is the way to go. It's the only way to heal.

[MESO]

Thats pretty powerful stuff...

 

Im going through it right now..she needs her space but we still talk on instant messenger and we see each other once in a while cause she "still cares" about me. Your situation really reminds me of mine...i cant ever sleep i get a little and wake up thinking of her

 

Very powerful but idont have the strength for that right now

 

I really admire your strength

[meanttolive4ever]

i used to be that way..i wouldnt eat that much...and i wouldnt sleep..id just cry. but then i started to get on with my life...but i know that if i ever see him again ill just start all over

[tom_gbr]

i got the space excuse....she also said that she still cared for me and also that she still loved me.

 

we kept in contact for a while but it was hurting me too much as i still really wanted her back...she started to get annoyed at me for trying and the contact only came from me starting it.

 

 

now i just want to forget her but i cant...she is like a scar on my mind...i bet she doesnt even give a **** about me anymore...so much for friendship

[Heoga]

dazednconfuzed,

You really admire the strength that must have taken. I am currently in a very similar situation. My gf broke up with me on Feb 13th last year, what a day huh? We decided to stay friends, and things were fine for a while. Then the holidays came and she never rang me the whole holidays, it was always me calling her. When I got back I managed to squeeze out of her that she had feelings for someone else. My best friend & flatmate.

That was September and it's now May, I stil love her to a degree but I know it would never be the same again and that I have to move on. But seeing her both hurts and is all I want in life.

Now though, if I want to cut her out of my life I also have to cut out most of my friends I have in life. Staying friends has cost me my confidence, my trust, my happiness and at least two of my two most trusted friends.

 

Again I admire your strength, staying friends only causes pain...