GaHeartbroken Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 (edited) I've just read those pdfs - some interesting points. No mention of long distance relationships though. I'm being selfish but anyone on this thread had any luck with those books and LDR? I don't have an excuse to get a train half way across the country for a 'light lunch' or 'quick coffee'. I'm in about the same situation - an eight hour drive. I posted a thread the other day about LDR and getting back together but did not receive much response, except telling me to move on. I am leary about these get your ex back books, since most people's advice on relationships forums is to do no-contact and just let the other person come back on the person's own, and to move on and not wait for the person to come back. Every situation is different, you have to use your wisdom and weight your options for your situation. Still weighing mine, even though my ex is talking with another man already. Also, think long and hard before you try to reconcile, to make sure you certainly want your ex back, it may be for the best of both of you or just you, to move on and seek another relationship in the future. I hope yours works out for the best! Hang in there and keep your head-up! Better days are ahead for the both of us! Here is what the e-book "Get Your Ex Back" by Ashley Kay, says. Q: My ex and I are in an unfortunate long distance situation. What can I do now? A: Due to the nature of long distance circumstances, it won't be pracitical to set direct meetings with her. If this is the case, try to talk more on the phone or online and build up the connection that way. Think back to how you used to connect and be intimate while so many miles apart and the same principle will apply here. Edited September 21, 2011 by GaHeartbroken Link to post Share on other sites
GaHeartbroken Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 my miscellaneous email is [email protected] Emailed you about the e-book, futuregopher. Please get back to me. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
name goeshere Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 The most flawed advice I read places like this is to just wait for them, but what if they try the same? Also most books tell you to start off casual and not scare them off but every time I read a post about an ex doing the same something I always hear is people tell them to ignore casual reconnects. The good things about most of those books is they cover most angles. Even if they ex is using the same approach they dont self conflict. For example many people here say dont bother unless the other person does all the work but in that case what if someone else is giving your ex the same advice and even though you both want to mutually reconcile you both hold back because of that. The books pretty much lay out the best average approach to take with the best average success chances but every circumstance is different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GaHeartbroken Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 The most flawed advice I read places like this is to just wait for them, but what if they try the same? Also most books tell you to start off casual and not scare them off but every time I read a post about an ex doing the same something I always hear is people tell them to ignore casual reconnects. The good things about most of those books is they cover most angles. Even if they ex is using the same approach they dont self conflict. For example many people here say dont bother unless the other person does all the work but in that case what if someone else is giving your ex the same advice and even though you both want to mutually reconcile you both hold back because of that. The books pretty much lay out the best average approach to take with the best average success chances but every circumstance is different. From what I've heard on these forums, if the dumper wants to get back with the dumpee, then the dumper will contact the dumpee. If the dumper misses and truly wants to get back together, then the dumper will contact the dumpee. The dumpee needs to move on and not be waiting around- to live life not expecting the dumper to contact you. I think that is the case, if the relationship was not abusive or lacking love being shown by the dumpee to the dumper. I think it does depend on the specific relationship, how much time has past, the issues, etc. I am still undecided on what to do in my own particular situation (she broke-up with me due to losing nearly all romantic feelings, but says I did nothing wrong, that I did everything right). But I think I am going to give it more time for her to contact me or not. I may eventually contact her, even if it does reset my healing, because of just how well I think it could be if it would work out. I am working on improving myself first though, so either way I WILL be better off. Link to post Share on other sites
name goeshere Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I have done the NC thing before without realizing it and it took in one instance about 3 weeks for her to contact me and the other about 2 months. In the first instance I was going out on dates with someone else so I kinda ignored the contact. When those dates panned out a few weeks later and I tried to contact her she backed off and would barely say anything to me. The second instance she was a rebound and I lost interest especially when I found out she was playing 4-5 guys at the same time trying to have plenty of backup plans. I told her off for it and compared her to one of her exes who used her the same way. A few months later when she tried to come back I lost all trust and did not pursue any opportunities with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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