Jump to content

How to stay confident in a relationship?


Recommended Posts

I've been with my bf for over 8 months but more and more I find myself jealous that he goes out (I try not to display this, of course) He's a very sociable guy and has friends from different groups so he can easily find something to do. I, on the other hand, am an introvert, I prefer to watch movies, read, listen to music and once in awhile meet up with friends.

 

More so lately I find myself being short with him, as he has also mentioned this. He thinks I'm bored of him but I told him I have never thought he was boring. I feel like I am slowly losing confidence and building up resentment that he is so busy and meets lots of people (he invites me out too). While I don't mind being by myself when he's not around, I'm getting paranoid he's going to meet someone more fun and outgoing.

 

I don't want to start being clingy and dependent for his company. He does usually call me a lot and asks to see me, but for example today, he's going hiking all day with friends and then meeting up with a friend at night. I actually have today (saturday) off and told him that id like to hang out with him afterwards tonight and he said yes. I'm trying to keep the resentment to myself and tell myself that I'm just acting like a brat and should admire his independence. He also likes that I don't get on his case about things, but this resentment is showing on my face when we hang out, and just last night he said "I don't understand, everytime I think we're having such a good time, you look like you're bored, and this is happening a lot now" but I told him that I noticed he was starting to be less affectionate and still drinking a lot (drinking is a sensitive topic for him, he does try to work on it). Otherwise, we always have a great time, he takes me out, but hasn't said he loves me (he was hurt by his ex-fiance of 8 yrs so we're taking it slow)

 

And that's part of the problem too, since I know he's taking it slow, I've never moved so slow in a relationship, we have fun, but when I'm losing confidence and not knowing how serious he views us, it really lowers my confidence. I'm trying really hard to not over-analyze everything he does, he's an easy-going guy with lots on his mind, but he does always make time for me too. How can I stop over-analyzing everything and be more confident? My insecurities will surely push him away.

Link to post
Share on other sites

find more healthy hobbies, preferably ones that require you to deal with social interaction.

 

volunteer. local homeless shelter. church. wherever.

 

just do something. that's the best way to get your confidence up.

 

wanna lift up yourself? then lift up somebody else. it's amazing what helping out can do for not just a stranger, but for you as well.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...