He told me to delete his number. WTF!?

[jackjoynr]

Where do I even start.. *sigh*

 

So a few months ago I met this guy while I was out and about with my girlfriend. We exchanged numbers & he was very sweet, tall, and everything I look for in a guy but at the time I was in the process of trying to work things out with my ex (which i told him about) so I never entertained the thought of being with this other guy. Things with my ex eventually turned sour (not because of the other guy) and we ended up breaking up so I started talking to the other guy a lot more. He would always say how he wants me to be his "girl," how he would treat me like a princess if we were together, etc. So I was STOKED that I might have found a great new guy that potentially down the road could be my next new boyfriend. But that thought was very short lived...

 

Here's a quick background about the other guy. He's 24, plays basketball, but he ALWAYS goes out. Every time I'd go out with friends he would be out (and i don't go out that often). Even when I wouldn't be out my friends would say that they spotted him while they were out. He would tell me not to stereotype him because he goes out & that the only reason why he does is because his friends always pressure him to go out with them & that if him & i were together he'd stop going out. I called bull**** on this but I still liked him. He would always text me sweet things, would tell me how if I ever needed anything all I had to do was ask & that he'd always be there for me. When we'd be out together he treated me like his girlfriend but he has NEVER asked me out on a legit date. Even after I told him about my ex and I breaking up, he said how he was sorry we broke up but at the same time glad because he wanted to be with me, but he still never asked me to hang out outside of the club scene. He would say things like "When can I see you again?" and I would tell him when I was free but he would never take action and set up a time for us to hang out except on the weekends when it involved going out to the bars. Eventually I told him that I'm not that into going out all the time anymore that if he ever wanted to hang out outside the night life that I would love to see him & get to know him more. Well I saw him out last night, I had been drinking a lot and totally ignored him and gave him the cold shoulder because I saw some other girl hovering around him. Apparently he came up to talk to me and I walked away and started dancing with another guy. The next day he text me saying how he thought I didn't get down like that, how I was tripping out on him last night, and he wanted me to be his girl & that I've hurt his feelings in the past & said how he was jealous of the situation with my ex because he wanted me to be his. He also told me that he wasn't talking to other girls, that the girl hovering around him was his friends girlfriend.. Then after all of that he then proceeded to tell me to delete his number from my phone.

 

I'm so confused and I feel stupid that I'm even kind of sad about this even though I know that he's probably not someone I could/ want to be with anyway. haha. I've never had ANYONE tell me to delete their number so I feel super rejected. I never really was the one to text or call him first.. he would always initiate the contact with me. I guess i'm just venting here but for some reason I feel sad and hurt that he told me that. I'm usually good about brushing things off and I'm not necessarily depressed about it, I just feel weird. haha. Some feed back or thoughts to get my mind off of it would help get pass it/him.

Thanks LoveShakers

Edited September 18, 2011 by jackjoynr

[jackjoynr]

Maybe i feel strange because first my ex boyfriend breaks up with me (which is a long story in itself)... and then this? ughh.. i just feel super rejected lately.

[WTRanger]

I had been drinking a lot and totally ignored him and gave him the cold shoulder because

 

What did you expect him to do after that little tantrum? You want him to ask you out, so you started to ignore him for no reason? Yes, there is no reason because everything that was upsetting you was all in your head. You never let him know directly that you wanted more than just the bar scene. All you did was give him coded messages, then got mad when he didn't read into them. You tell him you aren't into going out, yet you still go out and meet him out at the bars/clubs that you claim you don't like going to. Sound a little contradictory? You kept going to him, so why should he make any other effort?

 

If you didn't like it, stay home and let him come to you. Say, "Hey, I like you but I don't always want to meet at the bar so if you want to see me you have to make an effort to go someplace else." Stand your ground and force his hand. But don't go out, then throw a little temper tantrum just because you saw another girl around him and automatically, and foolishly, assumed the worst.

 

The guy sounds like a d-bag to begin with, so you probably dodged a bullet on this one. If he's 24 and still falling for his friends pressure to go to the clubs, then he's a ball-less wuss. A spineless douche who can't think for himself.

 

My advice is the next time a guy is hesitant to take you on a legit date and you really like the guy, you call the shots. Ask him on a date or be really blunt and say, "When are you going to ask me out on a date?" Let him know, in non-coded language that he's already done the work and you are interested in him. Using words like, "hang out" or "see you again" just implies you want meet up in a casual let's be friends environment. You can't mistake the word date for anything else.

 

Also never tell guys you have just met, say within the first 100 years of knowing them, about your ex. We don't care, don't want to hear about it, and it's a red flag for most sane men that there's trouble ahead.