BrettLost Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I've found myself in contact with her a bit. Initially it was to gain a perspective on OM's intentions through what he was still telling her. If OM's ex was being shut out, i knew what he had with my stbxw was obviously a goer, kids n all. As bad as it seems, i preferred this. My fear was that he was gonna go into their life for awhile, play around with the family ideal, then bounce back to his ex when he got over it. This presents my kids with a potential revolving door of OMs. Still not sure on it, but i do like her as a mate. I figured she had gone through the same stuff and if our exs were out enjoying life together, what harm could come of us doing the same? Even if not in a relationship... I've stated before it's the female company i really miss as opposed to the sex n stuff. So is it worth it, or am i wading into dangerous water? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrettLost Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Bump, nudge, poke. Has anyone done this successfully, or even bothered? Traps, holes, problems, benefits, advantages....? Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Brett, i have become good mates with the OM's wife, we have gone out for drinks and speak loads on the phone. It's actually really helped me. Go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 If she's really cool why not, it's not like she's cheating on her H taking into consideration all that has happened anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I did initially want to be friendly with scumbags wife and used to call and text her every week to see if she was ok etc. We would sometimes chat on the phone about stuff. I learnt from the stbxw that she was passing my texts and conversations on to scumbag. So i stopped. I was disappointed as I thought we could help each other as the BS. I also felt betrayed again. So be careful Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrettLost Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 Thanks guys. Russel, this is where i hoped to be with it, help each other move on in a mutual way. Ver13, OM and her were just LTR, no marriage no kids. In a sense i felt either way, a LTR is a LTR and is very difficult to detatch from, without a great deal of struggle to accept it. Jaymz, Sadly i did get a whiff of what u mentioned, and i did feel betrayed again too. There has been calm for awhile with NC, but i posted to weigh up whether contact should be re-initiated. Either OM seems to have his hands full keeping both flames alight, or his ex is struggling to let go. STBXW thinks she is bad news, i can see what she means, but i havent had anything bad come from her at all. I also dont know if stxw just wants me to stay idle, lonely essentially doing f all with anybody. A part of me thinks if i had a good day with OM's ex doin anything, both OM and STBXW would lose it. Only THEY can be happy after all..... Link to post Share on other sites
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