Dblock10 Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 (edited) went on face book. her profile picture had changed. and i looked through her album. it was her and her two uni friends, she has obv seen them before she leaves on sat it was odd seeing her. she looks pretty much the same but her hair is growing. what else, yeah when i got over the initial heart pounding it didn't feel weird looking at her, in fact i thought to myself why have i not stayed in contact with her... ! maybe iv'e been silly for going nc. it feels like i don't know who she is now or what she will become, and i don't like that . the fact that she can skype whilst travelling the world wouldn't have made it impossible for us to stay together etc i'm sad she thought we would just argue and didnt want to give us a go. i feel like i need to talk to her now and not just go into silence, but again when she leaves its going to be really hard to stay in contact and see those photos of all those new people she will meet, new men etc etc yeah this is weird. Edited September 19, 2011 by Dblock10 Link to post Share on other sites
1Dunno Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Completely normal part of the breakup process. When you were together, you always pretty much know what they're up most of the time (no stalker :-P). Now that you're not together unfortunately you don't have a "right" to know what they're doing, let alone be involved in it. I understand from your previous thread that you partly blame yourself for the breakup as you called her out on not wanting to commit. Please don't blame yourself. Her not wanting to commit is a crystal clear sign that you wanted more than she did and she wasn't the right girl for you. I was in a very similar situation with my ex. Right before the breakup things were starting to get serious (she even hinted at meeting my parents). Then, for whatever reason, she got cold feet and dumped me on my ass. Clearly in both of our situations we had stronger feelings for our ex's than they did for us. You can try to stay in contact with her if you like. I myself have broken NC on several occasions. But it always ends in heartache. I hate myself for it because I think that it show's I'm spineless holding onto false hope. As much as i still miss her, I wish I had the balls to tell her to get lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 (edited) yeah i hear you mate yeah i do blame myself for it, as she was committed to me which is what she was trying to say, just she couldn't promise me what she would be doing once back just to keep me happy and therefore it wouldnt be fair to stay with me then for her to come back and go off again to do a ski season or what have you. and she didn't want to make me any promises, then once she had properly thought about it she didn't want to "feel obliged" to do anything around near me once she was back. she said she knows its selfish but it isn't practical to stay together and we should keep each other updated with our lives. we were serious, we met each others parents and family's etc i do miss her. i am tempted to just talk to her. i really dont care at this stage anymore. whats the difference. cant beleive she is gone. going. and we will become different people. so so sad Edited September 19, 2011 by Dblock10 Link to post Share on other sites
timchambo Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Dblock, How long has this been? Trust me, from experience, it goes both ways. She is curious about you too. She wants to talk to you too. She has probably checked your facebook as well. She probably feels guilty for hurting you. Its so much better she did this then run off with someone else immediately. Stay away from her facebook though. Consider yourself lucky you didn't see anything worse. About 9 months out from 8 year RL myself. I remember those feelings about who she will become, and how great her life will be. That will fade with time and the focus on yourself will take over. Keep your head up, it gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 its been 7 weeks. yeah she might be, she claimed she hadnt been on my facebook or seen my statues about my nan etc etc. yeah its better she didnt run off with someone else, ive had that before and it hurt way worse. i do consider myself lucky i didnt see anything worse. so glad. just worried i will once she is away on the travel... yeah it will get better. just not sure if i should put this to bed just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 do you think she's losing sleep having the same thoughts as you are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 no not at all Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I felt the same way after not looking at pictures of 'him' for a while. It was weird. Like he was a stranger.. And I'm sitting there thinking, is that really him? Was I really involved with this man? Not in a particularly bad way, but it was just.. strange. I don't know, maybe it's proof that I really can move on if I stick to it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 yeh it was like that, what you just said.. although i do miss who i was with, its like "is that really them now?" did i really actually know that person. i have got with a couple girls since the break up, nothing serious, but i feel a bit bad if something more happened i.e in the bedroom, because i still obv think about my ex but at the same time i am human i have needs and she didnt want me so what do i do. another thing is, where i work, there is a friend that is friends via fb with my ex. i dont know how close there relationship is, but if something did happen with the new girl, i am sure somehow it might get back :S Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Man, I know there is no way you'll ever believe me now.....but I promise you someday you'll kick yourself for passing on a chance to hook up with a girl just cause you're scared it'll somehow get back to your ex. Who cares? She would probably just be happy that you've moved on! She's gonna be with a ton of new guys from here on out...she won't give you a second thought. So why are you still wasting your time caring about what she thinks of you? LIVE YOUR LIFE!! Do what YOU want!! Hook up with chicks, it's fun!! Forget her...she's gone! Link to post Share on other sites
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