tom_gbr Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 why is it that when i girl gets dumped she can just walk into a club or a bar and just flutter her eye lids or somethng and blokes come running.....but when a guy gets dumped he feels like there is no way he can meet someone else as his confidence is fu*ked so there is no chance of being able to chat up girls. im sorry but girls have it easier when it comes to moving on Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Its all about whos got confidence... Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Hi Tom... I just dont think you are ready to move on... I know Im not. and IM A GIRL!! LOL But then again, ive been with my guy for 8 years...so..of course I wouldnt be ready. Just stay confident..from what you described..you seem like an intellegent and good looking guy...I am sure there is another girl out there waiting to meet you some day!! I think you will know when the time is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tom_gbr Posted May 13, 2004 Author Share Posted May 13, 2004 thanks sinkerswim...i am feeling more confident right now....im looking better than ever right now and i am happy right now just being friends with my ex. im feeling so good about myself right now that im going to try for male modelling...i said it as a joke to a girl mate of mine and she said that i should seriously consider it! im going out with a few mates this weekend on the hunt for girls so hopefully ill meet someone or if not have fun trying if i ever start to miss her i think of all the negative things about the relationship and about getting back together and that really helps. im seeing the light at the end of that dark tunnel....and it looks good! Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 haha i totally disagree... im a ger..im ready to move on.. but ive got no luck meeting anyone Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Oooh Tom.. A male model? You MUST be good looking then! You should post your picture here if you can! I would like to see you! Anyway...I really am glad you are feeling better. You have come a long way so far! Link to post Share on other sites
simplybrill Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 cheers, I have to agree!! Post your pic so we can see haha Link to post Share on other sites
maria72 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 My ex and I broke up six months ago although we've been e-mailing constantly since then. I've been confused to say the least...just found out he got married to a girl he met two weeks ago. However, yes, I know how "easy" it is to meet another guy but I'm past the point of going to bars to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Maria... I feel like Im in a no win situation... I thought my days of going to bars/clubs to find guys were long gone. Well, they were when I was with my fiance for 8 years. But never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to start over at 31. This sucks to say the least. Where in the world am I going to find another guy whos going to love me like he did? I dont want one from a bar or club. I just want HIM back. Link to post Share on other sites
simplybrill Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 It is very tough, but hang in there. I detest the bar/club scene, but its not like many people find winners there either- so I dont think we're missing much. Tried taking up a class at your Y, or church? Im somewhere between wanting to meet new people and just being like egh...dont want to put my heart on the train tracks again. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Im not even remotely interested in another guy yet. I guess just want my fiance back. I dont know if I am going to be ready for a long time. I guess we will know when we are ready. Link to post Share on other sites
maria72 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I'm 32 and I have no doubt I can find someone else to date...I've already had a couple guys ask me out but I was still hung up on my ex. I've spent the past six months thinking that my ex and I would get back together, but now I accept that we won't. I'm actually more than creeped out that he could get married after knowing someone for two weeks and this feeling helps a lot! I think it helps more than anything...I've been waiting for the day when I could start viewing him negatively rather than holding on to all of the good memories. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Thats how I am...still hanging onto the hope we will get back together.. its 4 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tom_gbr Posted June 5, 2004 Author Share Posted June 5, 2004 i feel like i feel the same......im not in love with her anymore but i still think about her everyday...i was imroving a lot but with us going on holiday same time same place....and where we first met in 6 weeks time ive been thinkibng about her loads.....whats going to happen when we see each other and how will we act. will we get on?...will she ignore me?.....will something haoppen? Link to post Share on other sites
ResilientX Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Okay you guys! I have been with my wife 10 years, we just separated and she already has another man in her life. We were barely apart two weeks when it happened! I know it was not the reason for our breakup because we were having issues, but I thought that this was just a "thing" and that we would reconcile. After all 10 years is a haul for me. I am 47 years old and have to start over. I also know that she still cares for me, in a different way. and tells me she is taking this new relationship "slowly" so as not to hurt my feelings, and for that I am grateful, but nevertheless, how can someone just jump out and in so quickly? Perplexed..... Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Tom I wish you the best of luck on your holiday. Just act yourself when you see her. I know it will be hard, though. Resilient...Im sorry whats happened to you. I hardly doubt that your wife will be happy in the long run. 2 weeks is downright stupid to jump right into another relationship. Good luck to you. I know its very upsetting. Link to post Share on other sites
ResilientX Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Sinkerswim....I agree with you and "downright stupid" it is. Thank you for the reply as I am very confused having never gone through this kind of situation before. I know it will get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Nubemeister Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I believe sometimes guy move on easily. But it just depends I guess... I found out my Ex after a couple of months or so had already found somebody. He was dating. It took me longer to get over it. I don't love him but I do think about him sometimes... And it's not so easy for a girl to flutter her eyelashes..lol if she doesn't attract anybody...just my opinion Take care Link to post Share on other sites
Author tom_gbr Posted July 27, 2004 Author Share Posted July 27, 2004 well i havent posted in a while and i thought now and i thought i should now that i have just got back from my holiday. if people know about my breakup and everything that happened they will remember that i said that im going on holiday same time and place as my ex girlfriend...also the place where we first met. all through the holiday i was really nervous of bumping inti....i bumped into her friends several times in the streets. she did send me a text message saying happy birthday to me. it was all going good till friday when i saw her in a nightclub...this was the last night of her holiday. at first when she saw me she didnt say anything and went to the bar....as some of my mates were standing at the bar as well i went over and tried to say hello..one of her mates stopped me ....i said her name several times as it was quite loud....she just ignored me and walked off. one of her mates said to me that she would find it to hard and awkward....i was still hurt...she continued to stay clear of me all night....aparantly she smiled and said goodbye to me when she left at the end of the evening but i wasnt looking at her. i text her soon after saying " i know it would of been awkward as i would find it awkward to....all i wanted to do was say hello and see if you had a good holiday x " she didnt text back.....nothing.....not until late the next night when she was back home...she text me saying " hey, im sorry about last night, it was to weird, to hard, i know i was a bitch but i knew it would ruin a really good night, a really good memory. im sorry x " im thinking atleast it was nice that she sent me a message...but what does she mean by that end bit...." a really good memory " ..... does she mean the memory of her holiday or the memory of me and her? i know it shouldnt bother me know...it has been five months since we have been apart but it makes me wonder.. i text back later that night.....very drunk...i think saying " thats ok i understand, all i wanted to do was say hello and find out how your holiday was. mine was great but it will never be as good as last summer...that will be a summer that i will always remember x " i think thats what i said.....what do you guys think?...with what she said about a good memory? Link to post Share on other sites
Good heart Posted July 28, 2004 Share Posted July 28, 2004 This is my point of view and does not necessarily have to be true. I was only dumped by one girl in my life but she did it 3 times in 1 month while all the other girls that I have dated ended up being dumped by me. what made this girl different is that she was very very pretty (model like) and I somehow treated her less aggressivly than others and by agrgessive I do not mean abusive but by not being a wuss and not to be taken for granted. Aggressive men are rarely dumped especially if they show some signs of niceness every now and then. this is why men who are dumped (therefore less aggressive and faced with less options) face a big problem going on with their lives for a while. It is not true that women who are dumped go to the bar directly, some of them are heavily devastated and go into a major dpression and may become suicidal , only the ones who pushed their boyfriends to dump them or who dumped their boyfrineds because of a better deal jump the next second into another man's arm. It is a hard world out there and my advice to all men who are dumped is to give it a break of 1-2 months of other actiivities (sports, hanging with budiies, studying etc..)and boost their ego again and start the hunt from the begining , nobody is worth living for more than ourselves. just my opinion Link to post Share on other sites
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