turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 She might want him but she seems like she want me more. Why would she stay with me after i busted her, she could have left to him. That's easy. If she stays with you - and continues to cheat on the side, since you apparently condone it - she gets to LOOK GOOD to her family and your family. And you said it yourself: appearance before the family means everything. You're just the fool tool that allows her to keep up the appearance because she knows you're too chicken to say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 You can't imagine how many times i told her that i want her to stop lying and give me the truth. I also told her that I will let everybody know about it. She probably doesn't believe i would do that. That's also why doing the last two months, despite all my hints, she was sure that I do NOT know her on going cheating....Oh no, not THAT! You didn't flat out TELL her that you want her to stop lying, did you? How could she possibly withstand the utter scrutiny, the shame, the guilt, of you wanting her to tell the truth? meh Remind me, did you read No More Mr. Nice Guy yet? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 This is unlike her cheating 5-6 years ago that I didn't bust her...I simply confronted her (that is also why it was very important for me to bust her) You didn't bust her. You just told her you know she's cheating. Big whoop. Busting her is telling her family and friends that she's a serial cheater and waiting for her to either STOP CHEATING ALTOGETHER or lose you. You aren't even CLOSE to doing that. You're too scared. Of something. Haven't figure out what, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 She is a bad model for the children. And she did ditch my sick oldest son to go to the no-tell motel for 1.5 hours to shag. That is unbelievable...She is not a bad mother, so therefore you can just imagine how much she wanted to be with the OM at the hotel...during the day. Don't forget that during the past 2 months I didn't allow her to go out at nights...so she had to use any opportunity to sneak out... Please justify the above bolded items with the underlined one. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) Never mind. Edited October 17, 2011 by turnera Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Please justify the above bolded items with the underlined one. I guess she is a bad mother.(not that bad, she does take care of them, makes food, bedding, school, homework, etc. ) She simply needed the excitement a little a way from the kids. Or maybe the FUN, as she described it to me. About me busting her this time...Well I didn't tell it yet to her family, but I did tell it to MY Family... Of course they were in shock, but initially my Mom was in favor of trying to work it out if that is what i wanted. My Dad was very adamant that i need to dump her. I'm not to chicken to say anything. I'm simply slow and it takes me more time to digest. I will have a talk to her about my son's real father issue... And I think her family is the next to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Hi, I am separated at the moment from my husband who has narcissistic personality disorder. I have taken after reading your posts, that your wife may indeed suffer this personality defect. It is not an illness, so she knows exactly what she is doing. People on the board are going to have a hard time understanding what you are going through, because understanding NPD is not a subject many are familiar with. I have a very prominent, good looking, charming man of the community so to speak, but behind closed door it is quite shockingly a different story. He has destroyed my inner core, which I am trying to gain back even though I am a well educated, above average, beautiful woman. I am caring and he is not, your wife is not a caring person and you are. There is NO cure for NPD. i looked for a year, in tears, knowing my husband was incapable of caring for no one other than himself. He has never sat for a dinner with me and the chidren, he balked at attending any event they were to attend, school projects....etc. Although he is great at faking best dad when needed to garnish attention. I am much younger then him and hopefully can recover, have considered an affair, but still on an edgy cliff regarding that. The depression that can consume you dealing with this can become unimaginable...i have never naturally suffered depression in my life, however everything hit me at once in the last 2 months...and i can barely walk, get out of bed, lift a finger when I am not at work faking my happiness throughout the day, while people still tell me how LUCKY I am to have such a great husband! They are wonderful academy award winning actors/actresses with no core being....no soul. I hope u do not get to where I am....currently. I am sure when he is clear and done with me he will make sure I am destroyed. She is not a good mother, a good wife, a good ZERO, she is a good actress, who is pulling a cold wool cloth over your eyes. Your are in a haze. You and your children deserve better, and the better is not her! Hey MyBeautyDestroyed, That NPD does remind me somewhat of my W. The whole show in front of everybody etc. However, she was also doing that show in front of me...Did you H did it in front of you or just your friends? Did he cheat on you? I can't say that my W is not a good family member. Everything except her cheating on me, having a child outside the relationship, is ok. I know many would jump on me here, but it is the fact. I guess men and women under NPD are different. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted October 17, 2011 Senior Moderators Share Posted October 17, 2011 This thread exhausted itself a very long time ago. Let's move on to some other topics that can help make people's loves better. Thanks to all who participated. Link to post Share on other sites
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