That_girl Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I had to repost this in the Family forum...I just need answers. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm living with my mom for a bit because I had to save up some money. She lives in a condo on her own and I absolutely can't stand it here. She basically divorced my dad (abusive alcoholic) about 15 years ago and she is now a major slut. I know this is wrong, but I totally spied on her facebook and I saw that she is sleeping with about 3 or 4 REALLY young guys. I'm 25 and one of them is about 21. They're all younger than me, and one of the messages read "babe, I want sex now!!!" To which she replied "I can't get into the mood with her around". (meaning me) The thought of your parents having sex would be enough to gross anyone out, but the thought of your mom sleeping around with like 5 different guys that are younger than you....I don't know....wouldn't it creep anyone out? I really don't know what to do, I need someone to talk to. I have to get out of here. It's just not good for my mental health. Luckily I've already got a place lined up for October 1st. But I don't even want to look at her. She's a really nice lady, one who often gets taken advantage of. She's been in abusive relationships her entire life. But this is just really gross. These guys are not even men yet and she is 50 years old. My mom has always had issues with depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel so guilty saying this, but I don't want to even be around her. I kind of resent that she's not been a good role model to me. I'm educated and finally making good money, and I just can't stand my family. I hate them all for all of the damage they've caused.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 Wow, that is gross. I am sorry you're in that situation. Have you considered confronting your mom about it? Just saying "mom, you're embarrassing me with this" is enough to shame her into not doing it anymore. And if it gets too bad, you can always move out.
country_gurl Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I had to repost this in the Family forum...I just need answers. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm living with my mom for a bit because I had to save up some money. She lives in a condo on her own and I absolutely can't stand it here. She basically divorced my dad (abusive alcoholic) about 15 years ago and she is now a major slut. I know this is wrong, but I totally spied on her facebook and I saw that she is sleeping with about 3 or 4 REALLY young guys. I'm 25 and one of them is about 21. They're all younger than me, and one of the messages read "babe, I want sex now!!!" To which she replied "I can't get into the mood with her around". (meaning me) The thought of your parents having sex would be enough to gross anyone out, but the thought of your mom sleeping around with like 5 different guys that are younger than you....I don't know....wouldn't it creep anyone out? I really don't know what to do, I need someone to talk to. I have to get out of here. It's just not good for my mental health. Luckily I've already got a place lined up for October 1st. But I don't even want to look at her. She's a really nice lady, one who often gets taken advantage of. She's been in abusive relationships her entire life. But this is just really gross. These guys are not even men yet and she is 50 years old. My mom has always had issues with depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel so guilty saying this, but I don't want to even be around her. I kind of resent that she's not been a good role model to me. I'm educated and finally making good money, and I just can't stand my family. I hate them all for all of the damage they've caused. I can totally understand why you'd be grossed out. Do you have anywhere else that you could stay until Oct 1st? A good friend? family friend? relative?
thehead Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I don't find anything wrong with what you're saying, OP. It's not uncommon for people to be very different from their family of origin. Your mom clearly has issues and demons. You don't need to take them on as your own. Give yourself plenty of distance and let her sort out her own problems. Spend as much time out of the house or away from her until you can permanently move out. October isn't too far off. Thankfully, as adults we can soothe some of those hurts inflicted by family. We can be good parents to our kids, be responsible caring adults, and make a good life for ourselves. Put your energy there and look forward to what your life can be. Good luck.
cougar bait Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Could you possibly leave a link to your moms facebook page and maybe a few pictures of her?
y2k Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I had to repost this in the Family forum...I just need answers. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm living with my mom for a bit because I had to save up some money. She lives in a condo on her own and I absolutely can't stand it here. She basically divorced my dad (abusive alcoholic) about 15 years ago and she is now a major slut. I know this is wrong, but I totally spied on her facebook and I saw that she is sleeping with about 3 or 4 REALLY young guys. I'm 25 and one of them is about 21. They're all younger than me, and one of the messages read "babe, I want sex now!!!" To which she replied "I can't get into the mood with her around". (meaning me) The thought of your parents having sex would be enough to gross anyone out, but the thought of your mom sleeping around with like 5 different guys that are younger than you....I don't know....wouldn't it creep anyone out? I really don't know what to do, I need someone to talk to. I have to get out of here. It's just not good for my mental health. Luckily I've already got a place lined up for October 1st. But I don't even want to look at her. She's a really nice lady, one who often gets taken advantage of. She's been in abusive relationships her entire life. But this is just really gross. These guys are not even men yet and she is 50 years old. My mom has always had issues with depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel so guilty saying this, but I don't want to even be around her. I kind of resent that she's not been a good role model to me. I'm educated and finally making good money, and I just can't stand my family. I hate them all for all of the damage they've caused. I'm sorry about the situation you're in. But maybe she's just living her life. I mean she has a right to enjoy her life right??? If she's being taken advantage of by others than I can see why you're upset. But think of this scenario: If you were 50, and able to bang 20-25 year old girls, would you say the same about yourself???? If she has issues with abuse and other things, then get her help. She should see a therapist about it. But if she's a woman who likes sex, then let her be. It's her life. I know it sounds harsh but again, reverse the roles. If you were 50 and banging 25 year old girls, would you say the same about yourself??? Or would you be giving yourself "high fives" all over the place???? But I agree in that she should get help. I hope you can find her help.
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 ... sorry... I've been there in a way, and it was pretty revolting. Years ago, my mother went to Japan and banged a young Japanese boy (he just turned 18) --- she was 45. I was 20. She was going to bring him to America and marry him. (She has all kinds of mental illnesses though... and this was while she was still extremely borderline... psychotic, but capable of portraying normalcy in short amounts of time). Anyway, she asked me to carry their baby for them --- since she could no longer have children. Anddd my mother was not destined to be a "good mother"... such compounded my disgust. I know her brain was rotting, but ugh! Yeah... People are strange... All you can do is try to see they're far from perfect, that they probably didn't have perfect role models either... that sometimes a person's best is all they can give, and that such a thing is often seemingly not "good enough"... and try to forgive and move on. Once we become an adult, we are our own responsibility... we can't forge ahead well enough if we're carrying around resentment for others. Letting go takes time, nonetheless. If you can get away from her sooner, I would try. Being able to save up money is nice and all, but sanity is more important.
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