Dblock10 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 ex leaves in 5 days. not seen her for 7 weeks. spoken once in that time. she will be gone for 6 months to travel. and she didnt want to continue the relationship but wanted to end on good terms and keep each other updated with our lives. i plan to send her a txt a day or two before she leaves. something short sweet and polite. the reason i am doing it, is because i still care about her and want her to know that i still care to, since there has been a massive lack of communication ever since i went to hers and we had the final talk. i was thinking something like, hey (her name or a pet name?), Just wanted to wish you all the best and hope you have a great time. Will miss you. x" hey, just wanted to say have a great time travelling, be careful and look after yourself, hopefully see you when your back. "me" x i have no bad blood against her now, i don't think. although it would have been nice for her to have asked about me and my nan at the time.. and it would have been nice just to hear from her once. cause the only time we have talked before now was because broke nc and said hello on fb. Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 It's a mistake. It won't change a damn thing. If anything, she'll just roll her eyes and delete it. She didn't care enough about you to bother even saying "hi"....not even that for SEVEN WEEKS. You're obviously set on doing it, but you're just setting yourself up for more disappointment. If you want to something REALLY positive erase her email, delete fb, and remove all her contact info from your phone and computer. She has most likely already done so. Link to post Share on other sites
1Dunno Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Well despite all the other advice you seem deadset keen on doing it. So go right ahead, we can't stop you. I think she knows full well how you feel about her already though. Women have a sixth sense for that ****. What I would say is delete the mushy **** about missing her and the kiss at the end. All you are doing is letting her know that you are free to be trodden on and are likely to be moping around for the next 6 months while she's away. She will not think of you once while she's off having the time of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Well despite all the other advice you seem deadset keen on doing it. So go right ahead, we can't stop you. I think she knows full well how you feel about her already though. Women have a sixth sense for that ****. how would she know how i feel since ive been in nc for 7 weeks lol. and when i did talk i didnt express any feelings. yeah prob drop the missing her bit, she doesn't really deserve that plus she already knows what i said. yeah she wont think of me once and if she does that would be a miracle. fallen heart i know it wont change a dam thing, but when you've shared a part of your life with some you shouldn't just be bitter and twisted toward them after. it was unfortunate we split up but the circumstances pretty much made it not possible at least for now. but yeah its poo she didnt even say hi for those 7 weeks. thats pretty cold tbh. i am set on doing it cause if i were in her shoes id appreciate a txt before i embarked on a massive world trip wishing me well. it would leave a nice image of that person in my head and id be interested in how they were doing once back. doubt she has deleted me, we are on each others fb and we never had loads of photo's together, apart from one festival we went to. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 "Just wanted to say I hope you have a great time. All the best. x" Just nice and polite, short and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 (edited) how would she know how i feel since ive been in nc for 7 weeks lol. Why do you assume that she even CARES about how you feel? If she had even the slightest interest in you or your feelings about her at ANY point in the last 7 weeks, she'd have let you know. She didn't. She's about to go on a whirlwind adventure and the very idea of you would just be dead weight hanging around her neck and bringing her down. No contact works both ways. She didn't contact you because she doesn't care. She's not gonna magically change her mind if you send some text at the last minute before she leaves. I'm sorry to be such an a-hole but I really think you'll regret doing such a spineless thing as emailing her before she leaves, basically giving her a huge ego boost and confirming that she was right to break it off with you. Edited September 20, 2011 by fallenheart Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Sadly I agree with Fallenheart in regards to making contact and expecting anything from it. I know you are determined to send her something, so hence why I said keep it simple and just polite - wishing her well, nothing more. Don't bring up the past or your feelings and definitely no ego boost for her. Just be nice. If you do however intend to say more than I urge you not to. As Fallenheart rightly says, if she wanted to contact you, she would've done. Even if you take my advice and just keep it simple, you must not expect anything from it. If your hopes are to receive a reply, then I would say don't send anything. Let her go without any contact - that may have more of an impact on her than anything you could say... I know it's hard to accept a break up but sometimes that's all we can do. Nothing will change it and even though you say you want to stay friends with her, you know deep down that's not what you want. I tried it, it only hurt more. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 DAMN!!! She's not gone yet? Look dude, she really doesn't care. I take that back. She cares more about this trip than she does your feelings which is very telling. You need to remind yourself of that everytime you think you want to contact her. She cares more about this trip than me. So, my question is why would you want to contact her and to what end? Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 db10, you know that deep down you are hoping that she sees it and it makes her react in a positive way. can you take that nothing may come from it. i mentioned to you on another post that you should send it only if you are prepared for the worst. i still encourage you to be ready for that. won't sit here and tell you not to send it. you are past that now. so agree with others that it must be worded corectly for you not her. unfortunately whatever you say will not mean much to her. i am in the same boat as you. it has been about two months now of n/c and i am finally realizing that she really does not care about me. i could send her a text wishing her well on her trip overseas but i know that it will just not matter to her. not one peep from her. same as what you have gotten. the lack of action on their part shows so much. the action on your part will not mean anything. but again, send it as you will feel better initially. then be prepared to feel worse. i know you are heartbroken. i feel it too. we all do. i guess the question is what do you want to get out of it? think hard about it. what are your expectations. can you answer that you have none? if you can send away. if you have some you need to realize that these will drive you crazy and set you up for more pain. ill tell you same as i did before. go ahead, do your thing. we'll be here when you need us. you know, deep down i have hope that if you do send it you get what you want to out of it. and we know what that is. if you don't that is ok too. all this is learning. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I can't say anything really other than do what you feel is right mate. You know the truth deep down. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 that is a good txt if i where to send one smudge. I guess i don't assume she really cares about how i feel. She has already in the past said sorry for ever putting me in this position. So i guess her guilt has been washed away. she has got it off her shoulders. and that she wanted to end on good terms (again probably just for her own ego rather than actually wanting to stay in contact etc, even though she said at the time, so we can talk and meet up in the future etc..) yeah i find it hard how there was nothing, nothing at all in those 7 weeks until i said hello on fb chat to her. if no contact works both ways, she could read my no contact as that i didnt care... :S? i do understand that the txt wont change anything, but i guess i am hoping she will view it as a nice txt from me, and that it shows i care. i dont think a short polite txt will give her an ego boost? and that she was right to break it off with me. maybe if i sent something soppy and weak. like smudge pointed out, just be "nice".. ? i dont intend to say more that that smudge, and yeah if she wanted to have contacted me, she would have. she said she had been too busy.. basically. i wont expect anything from the txt at all. i dont even care if she didn't reply. although i guess if she replied and it was something nice, that might piss me off lol cause she is acting like she cares but does she really? its just like when i told her about my nan, she tried turning it around on me. like oh i thought you would have said something, you can still call to talk to me if you want to. and im sorry i really do care ive just been so busy and havent checked your face book wall. letting her go without saying anything may have more of an impact, but i feel probably more so in a negative light? I think given the circumstances, you are right, i cannot stay friends right now. because she is on an adventure, knowing what she is up to will bring jealously and pain. chitown, sadly she has not gone yet, been ages huh! yeah she always cared more about the trip than me, i was just stupid not to see it.. i want to contact her (or rather send a wish u luck txt) just to let her know i do care about her still. but i will not be sat around moping after her. i have other girls to pursue. i do wish it would have a positive impact, not in the sense to get her back, but as i explained. and yeah the worst that could happen would be that she replies in a nice way to, and then ill be left thinking now what... :S ! yeah the txt wont mean a lot to her i doubt. but then you never know? unless she's a cold hearted robot i would have like to of thought it would mean something. so i don't have massive expectation of the txt, but obviously in my own mind id like her to see that i still care after all this time of nc. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 You do what so many of us do - wander what our ex's think about things when we really never know. You hope this text may have some impact but in reality you'll never know, so try to do it just for you. How will you feel if you do or do not send it? If you decide the best thing for you right now is to send it and be nice, then do it, but don't regret it afterwards. Remember why you did it and how you felt about it, whether she replies or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 literally dont know how i'll feel if i do or dont send it :S Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I think deep deep down you know what you really want to do but your worried about the outcome. Just do what you feel is best for you right now and screw the outcome - she's leaving and you haven't spoke in weeks. I really don't think anything you do now will change the situation any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 no i literally do not know lol! i guess i am worried about a negative outcome of course. but its not because i'm dying to get back with her. its because i don't want to destroy my self esteem, my self confidence, my self worth to someone that clearly never cared an awful lot in the long run. anything i do now of course wont change the situation but iv'e excepted that. its weird to think she is "actually going" in a couple of days. ive been like waiting for it for ages. and its silly really. shame it all happened like this. but everything happens for a reason im sure Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Your ex is a B*tch. Don't even bother with her. They never change Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dblock10 Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 hmm yeah maybe she is, maybe she isn't. more than likely her focus changed and i was a burden to her new life now. pretty simple. just hurts to except that. but, i am young, single, at university, got good things to look forward to hopefully. splitting up was actually probably for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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