Angelina527 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Hi whichwayisup, I believe that there is an agreement between them. Friends that know both of them have told me that she felt it was more important for the family to stay together until the youngest graduates high school and leaves for college. She is devoutly religious and believes in parents staying together for the kids. Once she found out about us, she no longer wanted sex with him. I know that this will sound like a page out of the book, but she was not a sexual person to begin with. Please don't think I am putting her down. I am telling the truth. Sigh. That's exactly what I thought about my H's ex-wife, and what his AP thought about me, but the entire time, Mr. Angelina was having a grand old time at both places. This isn't something you could possibly know firsthand. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Then the chances of a divorce happening, let alone her knowing of an affair actually happening right under her nose, is slim to none. Sorry, but I think your MM is snakey and crafted up a real good continual lie. He's apparently good at deceiving. I know you don't want to hear anything negative or face any fact that some of what we're saying *could* be true.. Just know that the safety net around your A with him isn't on firm ground. To assume everything will go as planned is ridiculous. Its possibly true, though. If anyone is motivated to "save face", its the "deeply religious". You'd be surprised how many preachers I know that have cheated, fathered kids outside of their marriages, and quietly divorced at a pre-determined time agreed to by their Ws often years in advance. Its not improbable at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) How about the fact the BS doesn't seem to be worried at all. She might be of her opinion that if H truly loved OW he'd be gone. Let alone the fact he's going to wait for 5 years. BS doesn't have to disrupt her world or her life. She'll figure the OW will get tired of waiting at some point. That's cause it happened to me. I honestly felt after my Dday things were going to start rolling but the BS weather'd the storm and days became months, months became years and xMW never left. 3 years after Dday she's still there married and I'm a distant memory. Like it's been said. When people are done they leave period. end of story. You know how I know...cause I was married when the A started. I left my W and D her. Edited September 22, 2011 by Confused4Now Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Is every man who has an affair married to a woman who is "non-sexual"? Link to post Share on other sites
Capris Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Hello, My MM and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. He has two children, ages 15 and 13. He is staying for his children, because he refuses to allow them to come from a broken home. I know that you will think that is just an excuse, but I know he loves his children very much, and I respect him for trying to be there for his sons. His wife knows he is in love with someone else. He doesn't try to hide it, but he is discreet. She is adamant that they maintain their home and the family unit until the youngest child is out of the home. All she requires of him is that he provide for the family and be a good Dad. She told him that the children musn't find out he is seeing another woman and he isn't to use family money to see me. This is their agreement and they both agree that is best for the kids. She knows that he plans to leave the marriage as soon as the youngest child leaves home. If this couple is so open and ok with this situation, i seriously dont get why they just dont get a divorce. Dont get me wrong, im just saying, a "broken family" doesnt need a divorce to be considered "broken". I bet that if they asked the kids, they'd be all in for a divorce. Im a kid that wanted my parents to divorce, i could never understand why they were together. Id prefer for my parents to move on, i bet we'd be better off. Im not telling you to demand anything, but it just seems reasonble to me for a non-happy couple to divorce. A non-happy couple is the worst role model for the kids. Then again, i have never been married to know how hard it is. Im happy that you are really happy in your relationship though . Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Hello, My MM and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. He has two children, ages 15 and 13. He is staying for his children, because he refuses to allow them to come from a broken home. I know that you will think that is just an excuse, but I know he loves his children very much, and I respect him for trying to be there for his sons. His wife knows he is in love with someone else. He doesn't try to hide it, but he is discreet. She is adamant that they maintain their home and the family unit until the youngest child is out of the home. All she requires of him is that he provide for the family and be a good Dad. She told him that the children musn't find out he is seeing another woman and he isn't to use family money to see me. This is their agreement and they both agree that is best for the kids. She knows that he plans to leave the marriage as soon as the youngest child leaves home. I have read enough threads to know that many of you will not believe what I have written. However, these things are not in dispute. I write them here to provide you with some background. I love him very much and know that he will keep his word to me. He always has. He has always done whatever I have asked of him. I have chosen to stay. I know it will not be an easy 5 years and it will take time to dissolve the marriage after his son leaves home. I have made the choice to stay with him and support him through that. Most of the time, I am very happy with the relationship. We love each other so much. We talk about our future and we make plans. Being with him fills me with so much joy. I wouldn't trade this relationship for anything in the whole world. That doesn't mean that it is wonderful all of the time though. Sometimes I look at the calendar and think of how many days it will be. I love him so very much. I understand why he stays and know that it is a worthwhile sacrifice for us both. There are some down days, though. Days when I am saddened about the time we have to wait to be together as an open couple. Please don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about his children. I fully support him in his decision. My question is for those of you who have made the choice to stay. How do you get through the down days? For those of you who would write that he's never going to leave or that I deserve more or that I am a terrible person, please pass this thread by. I would like to read of experiences from OW who have chosen to stay in their relationship. Thank you. Hey DM and me are still really good friends and make sure the other is okay all of the time, does that count...lol... I gave/give all down times to the fact that I cannot change anything, and that no matter what I will be ok. When I stepped out and tried to control the situation (any situation) it began to fail...when I took my hands off of it things just seemed to work out. The down times you deal with are what I dealt with...it was hard at times to keep my perspective. (((((((((((((hugs love))))))))))) Link to post Share on other sites
SoMovinOn Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Is every man who has an affair married to a woman who is "non-sexual"? No. I wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
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