eggy Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I was briefly engaged after living with my gf for 4.5 years. 2 weeks after proposal she broke it off. Now 14 months later after one hell of a roller coaster ride I'm descending quickly. Haven't talk to her much, been pretty much NC other a few bump ins at the club. One night in particular where she followed me around all night and kept standing next to me. That was a month ago. An idiot friend of mine just the other day told me she updated her FB status to "in a relationship with ___" I knew it was coming and thought I was well prepared. But it felt like I got kicked in the nads over and over and over again. Now it feels like I'm back to day one. Man this sucks and the sad thing is no matter what people say...I cannot get better. The past year have been by far the worst year of my life. Man this really really suck! F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K !!! Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 so she found herself a rebound... Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 so she found herself a rebound... 14 months later doesn't sound like a rebound to me. Could be, but unlikely. One word of advice for you: don't go "pretty much" NC. Go strict NC and stick to it. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff2321 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Hey dude, I'm in the same shoes as you so don't feel alone. I am probably at 13-14 months since the break and have pretty much the same story as you. Not only did I lose my mind after my ex left, I quit my job and was unemployed for over two months. I finally started a new job 2 months after, but it was a roller coaster for 12 months. I am finally at a point where I'm 'ok' again, but I still live in the same town I dated my ex. My ex has a lot of family so I occasionally run into them. I am thinking about moving to a more populated area which mostly singles in the town -- currently I'm in the suburbs where 99% of the people are married and it gets really annoying being a single male here. About a month ago I found out (because I decided one night to google my ex), that my ex got engaged 2 months after she left me. It's been a year since she was engaged so she is likely married now. Upon reading this news, I was sick to my stomach and almost went into shock again -- very similar to how I was when she first left. For over 2 weeks I was anxiety riden everyday and had problems sleeping. It's been 4 weeks since I've heard the news and I'm actually better than I was previously. This dreadful news of her being married now has actually freed it's hold over me and I'm now able to just let it go 100%. I no longer have any desire to google her or to try and find her on facebook at this point. What would be the point? She's married now, she has a different life. I have also learned to appreciate and respect my ex for leaving when she did. She could have stayed around and had kids with me and then left, which would have been even worse with child support and all that jazz. I give her credit for being the strong one and leaving when she knew it wasn't going to work -- I know that I wouldn't have ever left her no matter how bad it got. I can't say I'm the happiest guy myself even after 14 months. I've gain probably 20-30 lbs since she left, but I plan to make some serious changes soon and start living healthy again. When I met my ex I was in the best shape of my life, but pain of the breakup and basically just giving up on everything has caused me to be unhealthy again. I really want to get back to the old me and I will. I feel I'm finally getting to the point of leaving this town and not going back again for a long time so that I can just be done with all of it. On the way to work I pass by the restaurant we ate at for our 2nd year anniversary, so it still hurts each time I see it, but less and less each time. The only thing in all of this that has helped me is full blown NC (up until the point I googled). Breaking NC and search for her on google hurt like hell but it actually freed me from the guilt, pain, and hold that it had over me. I am not going to contact her ever again though. I have watched girls make fun of ex boyfriends for contacting them and I don't ever want that to be me, so I will never ever ever contact her. That part of my life is now over for good. Just know you aren't the only one going through a situation like yours... your situation is almost carbon copy to mine. You will get through it, just feel the pain and learn how to accept it - It's what I had to do to move on. Jeff2321 I was briefly engaged after living with my gf for 4.5 years. 2 weeks after proposal she broke it off. Now 14 months later after one hell of a roller coaster ride I'm descending quickly. Haven't talk to her much, been pretty much NC other a few bump ins at the club. One night in particular where she followed me around all night and kept standing next to me. That was a month ago. An idiot friend of mine just the other day told me she updated her FB status to "in a relationship with ___" I knew it was coming and thought I was well prepared. But it felt like I got kicked in the nads over and over and over again. Now it feels like I'm back to day one. Man this sucks and the sad thing is no matter what people say...I cannot get better. The past year have been by far the worst year of my life. Man this really really suck! F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K !!! Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I have also learned to appreciate and respect my ex for leaving when she did. She could have stayed around and had kids with me and then left, which would have been even worse with child support and all that jazz. I give her credit for being the strong one and leaving when she knew it wasn't going to work -- I know that I wouldn't have ever left her no matter how bad it got. I can totally understand this, i was the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eggy Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 I wish I could just send her a big F U! But I got to be better than that. My only goal is life now is to get better and succeed. EFF HER! Link to post Share on other sites
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