ciohse Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 My boyfriend & I had been dating for 1.5 years when we broke up due to trust issues. The next 1.5 years consisted of us going on and off sleeping together, going on "dates" etc. Since both of us had been only on dates and nothing serious we decided to give it another chance. When I would ask him if he was seeing anyone else or having sex with anyone else he would say no that he only wanted me. A few days ago I looked through his HD and found dating site books during a time when he had told me he wanted just me, no other women, and wanted to try with me 100% (but we were not officially together). When I asked him about it, this is what occurred: He immediately showed me his gmail account used for dating sitesHe said he made a paid profile on eHarmony since I told him I was considering testing it way back before we decided to get back together and that he wanted to find me. He had 500+ emails from eHarmony. 99% of them never read. However, he did reply to women who messaged him for one day and then he had those dating books...I also found there were also a few emails from cougarlife, a few emails from OK Cupid, POF. He said CougarLife was a joke profile created when we were back together with a buddy and with real photos of himself, OK Cupid was done to do the profile test and POF was for forum advice. 2/9 emails read from Cougarlife. zero read from okcupidWhat bothers me is he never told me about these sites, and created the accounts when I thought I was the only one he "wanted." He said he never really used them so he didn't do anything wrong and that he never created them to actually USE it to meet women so his intentions are honorable. Should I believe him and "forgive" him? Or is there nothing to forgive and I am overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 he had told me he wanted just me, no other women, and wanted to try with me 100% (but we were not officially together). Umm. Aren't those 2 mutually exclusive? created the accounts when I thought I was the only one he "wanted." He said he never really used them so he didn't do anything wrong and that he never created them to actually USE it to meet women so his intentions are honorable. One does to create profiles on dating sites when one is not looking for dates (or something more). Honourable is certainly not a word I would use anywhere near that sentence. He disrespected you and your relationship and was clearly looking for someone else. He is now using his lack of success as "proof" to you that he wasn't even looking? He can't even be honest with you. I would dump this jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 One does to create profiles on dating sites when one is not looking for dates (or something more). Honourable is certainly not a word I would use anywhere near that sentence. He disrespected you and your relationship and was clearly looking for someone else. He is now using his lack of success as "proof" to you that he wasn't even looking? He can't even be honest with you. I would dump this jerk. Exactly! None of the girls on these sites wanted him so nothing happened between any of them. And now he's trying to twist it by saying nothing happened because he didn't want it to happen. Please. People do not create dating profiles "for fun." And OP, if he wanted to be with you so badly & believed you were the only one for him, then why weren't you officially together? It's because he wanted to keep his options open - this is also what the dating sites were for. He could do whatever he wanted because if you got mad he could always say "well we weren't officially together." Are you even officially together NOW? Either way, you are wasting your time with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ciohse Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 I posted on the forum because I expected to be proven wrong. So I hope to play devil's advocate. Thing is: I also had an account on eHarmony but I wasn't looking...He showed me the email account right away and then logged into the account. It had been closed long ago and had only been truly active for a day or so. And it wasn't even close to when we were back together as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was when we were sleeping on and off...We have been officially back together for 2 months now and the account had been completely inactive at least two months before we decided to get officially back together. Now we are and there is certainly no activity. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 If you give false or inaccurate information then you'll receive worthless replies. It's a waste of your and our time. What exactly is the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
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