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Feeling bad about self


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I know we're not supposed to feel bad about ourselves, it's not good for the self esteem and is unattractive to others. But right now, I can't help it. I'm pushing 40, have been divorced about 8 years, and it's just looking like I'm never going to find companionship in my life. Not that that's all there is, I'm thankful for my child and my job and my faith and many other things. But as far as the social world, I might as well be invisible. I am trying to meet people, mainly online now, it's the only way I can really reach out right now. Whenever I'm interested and write, they don't write me back, and the ones who write me do not interest me. One person was going to meet me after we'd talked several times on the phone, and he either didn't show or didn't reveal himself when he saw me. Another person quit writing to me because I wasn't moving as fast as he was.

 

As far as in person, there are no available or interesting or single men at my church or my job. I have very few friends. I still see my most recent boyfriend occasionally, but there is no future there. He once told me he didn't love me, never could. We've worked through some things and are friends again, but those hurtful words stay in my mind. I can't help wondering what is so unlovable about me, or what it was about my looks that was such a turnoff to the guy I was supposed to meet. In all honesty I'm very attractive, am slender, am nice. But no one is in the market for someone like me I guess. I should be confident and happy with myself and my life alone anyway, but I'm not. I don't want to grow old alone.

 

Any advice for someone who is obviously a misfit?

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sportsloving

Hey ... it isn't you at all. And when you find the guy who sparks your life, you will know that you are just so much more special than anything out there can handle ;)

 

Seriously, I went through what you are feeling. It is ok because you know what you want and aren't willing to settle for less. That is always a good thing.

 

As far as the onlines, I met my S/O online although it wasn't at dating site but rather in a game/chat. I never feel a person you haven't met in person is allowed to push you to far or to fast. They are not you, so what your comfort zone is quite dandy and no one can argue it. And if some of those folks don't answer your replies, they weren't really worth your time anyways.

 

Just keep answering the ads, keeping talking to new folks, and before you know it, you will have met the man of your dreams.

 

But you are a smart, pretty, funny and wonderful person. Any man would be lucky to date you. Best wishes to you.

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