newlywed and tired husband

[miliatrywife]

hello everyone...im very new to this webpage...and im not sure that im doin it right...neways...i have a

 

question...as you can tell im a military wife...my husband works about 9hours a day for the usaf on the flight line fixing 2 major planes...well...when he comes home and we are alone he is just "too tired" for anything

 

sexually...that is what he tells me...yes hes very nice to me a great husband but when its just us around he acts tired but as soon as one of his friends comes over hes wide awake and ready to do what ever. we have

 

only been married one year. so we are still sort of newly weds we are both very young so i dont think it has anything to do with that but hes been with me for 3 1/2 years. and this is the first time hes lived out on his

 

own and had his own computer to do what he wants...if ya know what i mean. and im fine with that...im just

 

not sure that if him looking at sites when im at work is making him TIRED or what it is...and im not sure if he does it all the time...i thought that masturbating was a good thing is it that he has the chance to look at all of

 

the girls on the internet when im not around that makes him tired or is it work....CAN SOMEONE HELP PLEASE

[scottssl]

His looking at sites (and you allowing it) are hurting your self esteem. He's too tired to be "interested" because he's been using his time elsewhere. That should be something that only you two share. Reality of living together hits home at times...it doesn't have to be sad...you were friends once before...get back your friendship and WORK on your marriage. It can be a beautiful thing.

[Jacksin]

I sympathise with you militarywife, but I think there has to be something seriously missing in your sexlife between you and your husband. As a twice married man on the wrong side of 50 I have experienced what your hubby COULD be going through.

My first wife's sexual performance was barely mediocre and she refused to change, so I took to seeing another woman secretly, but eventually stopped it because if my wife found out she would have taken me to the cleaners. The marriage didnt last much longer.

My second wife had an awful smell from her waterworks when she got aroused and when having sex which just stopped me dead.

There were other probs in both marriages but when things like this happen, it tends to magnify everything else that is not going well.

The councillors say sit back and examine everything in your marriage, make a list of the positives and negatives, get your hubby to do the same and compare lists. If you are both HONEST it is supposed to make things better

Jack

[Butterfly_Queen]

Hi, I have to agree with scottssl on the fact that you're ok with him looking at that stuff? I think if people are single or whatever thats one thing to look at it, but people that are married or in committed relationship, i don't think thats right. I think its totally disrepectful, to the perosn they are involved with and the relationship itself. Another thing too, don't assume that people look at porn or whatever because you're not doing something right in the bedroom. That maybe the case for some people but not all the time. sometimes that also just an excuse for them to cheat just because they want too.

 

When in a relationship theres other things involved that may cause people to what they do, however understand I'm not condoning it, just stating that maybe theres something else lacking, not just sex, things such as emotional connection, communicatuion, or it could be he's just got a problem. I understand you feel its your fault, but that doesn't mean for sure it is. I would suggest going to a counselor together and maybe seperatly as well and work on whatever issuse maybe going on. Best of luck.