My gf gave her number to some random guy

[Stevet99]

she did it, and pretty much in front of me.

We've been dating for about 6 months now, and shes the kind of girl who tends to flirt with everyone, at first that annoyed me, but then i realized that's just the way she was. She had her heart broken by her last bf, so she keeps her feeling pretty much to herself, i know she cares for me tho, and i try really her to let her know how i much care for her.

Still when guys ask her, she says im not her bf, even tho we see each other 3 times a week, she never tells me she wnats to see me, she only waits for me to give her a call of something, all of this used to make me upset, but over time i realized these are the things i have to accept if i want to be with her.

 

ok this is how it happened:

the other night we were at this club, she was there with a a couple of friends of hers, then we meet and tells me some guy gave her his cell phone, and right after that the guy appears, and asks for his cellphone back, and checks to see if my gf had added her number.

I guess my gf didnt expect i would find out she gave her number to this guy, because she said 'he just said he was going to let me know iwhen he had some pot' (utter lie). Right after that i left the bar, a couple of minutes later she texted me asking me if i wanted to go to her place, maybe she was feeling kind of guilty, im not sure, i obviously refused told her i was kind of tired.

 

Im mad at her, i guess i should be, I mean I trust her and i dont think she would cheat on me, i know she loves me but i feel i deserve some respect.

 

This happened a two days ago, i havent texted or called her since, and im sure that even if she misses me and thinks she was wrong, she wont ever call me and tell me shes sorry, shes too proud to do so. I really miss her, and I know I could see her again if i just let it go, but i dont really think I should.

[Ginger Beer]

she did it, and pretty much in front of me.

We've been dating for about 6 months now, and shes the kind of girl who tends to flirt with everyone, at first that annoyed me, but then i realized that's just the way she was. She had her heart broken by her last bf, so she keeps her feeling pretty much to herself, i know she cares for me tho, and i try really her to let her know how i much care for her.

Still when guys ask her, she says im not her bf, even tho we see each other 3 times a week, she never tells me she wnats to see me, she only waits for me to give her a call of something, all of this used to make me upset, but over time i realized these are the things i have to accept if i want to be with her.

 

ok this is how it happened:

the other night we were at this club, she was there with a a couple of friends of hers, then we meet and tells me some guy gave her his cell phone, and right after that the guy appears, and asks for his cellphone back, and checks to see if my gf had added her number.

I guess my gf didnt expect i would find out she gave her number to this guy, because she said 'he just said he was going to let me know iwhen he had some pot' (utter lie). Right after that i left the bar, a couple of minutes later she texted me asking me if i wanted to go to her place, maybe she was feeling kind of guilty, im not sure, i obviously refused told her i was kind of tired.

 

Im mad at her, i guess i should be, I mean I trust her and i dont think she would cheat on me, i know she loves me but i feel i deserve some respect.

 

This happened a two days ago, i havent texted or called her since, and im sure that even if she misses me and thinks she was wrong, she wont ever call me and tell me shes sorry, shes too proud to do so. I really miss her, and I know I could see her again if i just let it go, but i dont really think I should.

 

Or, she doesn't think she's done anything wrong as it's 'only a number' and she feels no remorse for it.

 

This is absolutely unbelievable. She flirts with everyone because she's an attention seeker (a personality trait of the majority of women who frequent night clubs regularly, in my experience. Does your girlfriend go to clubs regularly?), and I don't think you realised 'that's just the way she is', more likely you started to put up with it because you like her so much you don't want to lose her (I've felt exactly the same before).

 

Why did she not say 'I have a boyfriend' straight away? She knew what she was doing bro.

 

I think you should end it.

[Stevet99]

thanks ginger beer.

 

but wouldnt i be overreacting for dumping her just because she gave out her number? specially if she thinks theres nothing wrong about it?

i had put up with other things in the past, worse things, when we were just starting to date, wasnt easy then, yet leaving her over this is hard, i know she loves me, maybe im just plain stupid.

[robaday]

Youve done the right thing by not contacting her here. I would keep it up at least in the short term. Im in a similar boat now - having faced a lot of lies in the last four months, Ive finally drawn a line, despite giving plenty of chances, im sick of being a nice guy anymore, so i have kicked her to the curb.

 

someone once told me you should always be prepared to walk away from someone. uv got a tough decision ahead of you, but u sound like a smart guy who has enough self respect to know he has to at least stamp his authority on this time.

[PratyekaYana]

thanks ginger beer.

 

but wouldnt i be overreacting for dumping her just because she gave out her number? specially if she thinks theres nothing wrong about it?

i had put up with other things in the past, worse things, when we were just starting to date, wasnt easy then, yet leaving her over this is hard, i know she loves me, maybe im just plain stupid.

 

Might I ask how you know that she loves you? Nothing that you've offered thus far gives the slightest indication that your conclusion is a valid one. By your own admission, your "girlfriend" does not verbally acknowledge you as her boyfriend nor does she regularly seek your company. The onus of establishing contact is always upon you. Then, she puts her number in another man's phone. Let me emphasize that the woman you claim as your girlfriend willingly gave her contact information to another man. Where do you see love?

 

I don't think that this relationship is healthy for you, Steve. It's not just the number issue either. It's the entire quality of how she treats you.

[Stevet99]

Might I ask how you know that she loves you? Nothing that you've offered thus far gives the slightest indication that your conclusion is a valid one. By your own admission, your "girlfriend" does not verbally acknowledge you as her boyfriend nor does she regularly seek your company. The onus of establishing contact is always upon you. Then, she puts her number in another man's phone. Let me emphasize that the woman you claim as your girlfriend willingly gave her contact information to another man. Where do you see love?

 

I don't think that this relationship is healthy for you, Steve. It's not just the number issue either. It's the entire quality of how she treats you.

 

I may be seeing love where there really isnt any, but shes the kind of girl who keeps everything to herself, shes distant and she told me so in several ocassions, shes not open about her feelings. She had her heart broken badly, it hard for her to trust someone else so she acts as if nothing would bother her, but i can see she does care for me.

 

When we started dating she didnt want to get in a relationship, but we got along really well, and she simply couldnt help it, thats the main reason i had put up with so many things in the past. She likes being with me, and most of the time she prefers to be with me than with her friends.

 

As crazy as it sounds, i trust her im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me, what makes me upset is that i feel i get no respect from her. At times i feel im overreacting over this, would it be rational to let her go if i know she loves me? but then i think ive put up with enough already. I know i need some piece of advise, and time to think this through.

[Andy_K]

If you were looking at someone else in this situation, you'd say he's clearly being taken for a fool. One day, you'll look back on this and see that you were being taken for a fool. Right now, you're too infatuated to know any better.

[Space Ritual]

As crazy as it sounds, i trust her im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me, what makes me upset is that i feel i get no respect from her.

 

 

If you don't think she respects you, then it is crazy to think she won't cheat on you....

If she respected you, she would refer to you as her BF in public, not take guys phones to put her number in right in front of you, and not make you feel like you have to accept this treatment because your infatuation for her is strong. I mean her vagina is not lined with Mink, is it?

 

Her behavior demonstrates she can and WILL cheat on you if she already has not... life is too short, dump her and move on...

[Osiris1234]

dating for about 6 months

 

And no relationship yet. Dude she is using you/leading you on, drop her ass and dont contact her ever again. If she contacts you tell her your done with her ass.

[rafallus]

Still when guys ask her, she says im not her bf, even tho we see each other 3 times a week, she never tells me she wnats to see me, she only waits for me to give her a call of something, all of this used to make me upset, but over time i realized these are the things i have to accept if i want to be with her.

 

No, you don't.

 

She's not your GF, she doesn't give a **** about you, you could disappear into thin air very next day and she won't shed a tear, just hop onto next available penis.

 

At this point, you're actually pretty much free to "shop" for other girls.

[Chi townD]

As crazy as it sounds, i trust her im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me, what makes me upset is that i feel i get no respect from her. At times i feel im overreacting over this, would it be rational to let her go if i know she loves me? but then i think ive put up with enough already. I know i need some piece of advise, and time to think this through.

 

Yeah....right....this forum is full of people that are conviced that their SO wouldn't cheat on them. Dude, she flirts with guys in front of you. What do you think she does with them when you're not around? She gets her number loaded into some dudes phone in front of you...you don't think this joker hasn't called her already? YOU are the one that has to start contact with her all the time. She won't call you her boyfriend in front of other people. And you think that she might love you?

 

Dude, don't call her and ignore her tects (if she ever gets around to it.) Go find yourself a girl that would be proud to call you her boyfriend.

[Bryanp]

My friend if the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would have accepted such disrespect from you? You continue to make excuses for her horrible and disrespectful behavior. The more she disrespects you the more you accept it. Why would she respect someone like this? If you do not respect yourself then who will? Move on and fine someone else who not such an attention queen and someone who is willing to acknowledge you as a boyfriend. Why in the world would you settle for this? You are worth more.

[PratyekaYana]

I may be seeing love where there really isnt any, but shes the kind of girl who keeps everything to herself, shes distant and she told me so in several ocassions, shes not open about her feelings. She had her heart broken badly, it hard for her to trust someone else so she acts as if nothing would bother her, but i can see she does care for me.

 

When we started dating she didnt want to get in a relationship, but we got along really well, and she simply couldnt help it, thats the main reason i had put up with so many things in the past. She likes being with me, and most of the time she prefers to be with me than with her friends.

 

As crazy as it sounds, i trust her im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me, what makes me upset is that i feel i get no respect from her. At times i feel im overreacting over this, would it be rational to let her go if i know she loves me? but then i think ive put up with enough already. I know i need some piece of advise, and time to think this through.

 

You're too deeply infatuated right now to see this issue through an objective lens. I understand that. We've all, to one degree or another, allowed detrimental relationships to continue unabated because of a false security in the other person's feelings for us. Eventually, when your need for self-respect outweighs the gratification that you receive from being with this woman, you will snap out of this haze and realize that you were insignificant to her life, as many others here have said or implied.

 

Let's take the best case scenario here and accept, for the sake of argument, that your girlfriend is extremely distant and that explains her behavior toward you. Is it enough for you that she claims to love you? The fact that her actions speak against it doesn't bother you? It wouldn't matter if my girlfriend told me in private that we were dating and madly in love. If she didn't acknowledge me before her friends--]b]and especially before other men[/b]--then it just falls flat. I know that you sense that something is not right on some level. Otherwise, you would not be concerned with the lack of respect shown to you. Listen to that inner gnawing!

[Stevet99]

Ok, you are all probably right here.

 

The feelings i get from her are probably because i love her and treat her right, and its always nice to have someone who feels that way for you.

And im pretty sure she wouldnt cheat on me, but this is not a thing of respect, because she already has, when we were starting to date, and she felt terrible, she said she would never do it again, cause she was going crazy, so you see, the only reason why she has never done it again is because she doesnt want to feel bad, not because she respects me.

 

Still im not sure about letting her go, itll be really hard for me to do so. i never had to end a relationship with someone i loved, ive always ended relationships cause the passion and love were simply not there anymore.

[Professor X]

Errrm, you sure you're BF/GF? Sounds more like she sees you as FWB.

 

And if you are BF/GF, how do you? ever talked about it? Cause if she tells others you're not her BF... lol, I think it's time you just ask her, although the answer is obvious to us all except you.

[phillyfan]

We've been dating for about 6 months now...

 

when guys ask her, she says im not her bf...

 

she wont ever call me and tell me shes sorry, shes too proud to do so. I really miss her, and I know I could see her again if i just let it go, but i dont really think I should.

 

Dude thts ur answer rite there. Uve been wit her 6 months but She tells other dudes shes single, she treats u like crap but wont eva say sorry 2 u, she wont eva get in touch n tell u she misses u, aint eva gona make u feel good. So u take it else she aint gona see u no more. Dude u r losin ur self respect. Aint no girl worth that sh*t. She aint worth ur time, find a girl who is.

[Stevet99]

Errrm, you sure you're BF/GF? Sounds more like she sees you as FWB.

 

And if you are BF/GF, how do you? ever talked about it? Cause if she tells others you're not her BF... lol, I think it's time you just ask her, although the answer is obvious to us all except you.

 

 

Okay, we meet three times a week, i know her fokes, they call me her bf, then her friends they all say im her bf. And then a couple of weeks ago, i asked her why wouldnt she say shes my gf to others, or maybe openly amdit it to everyone, and she said it was the same thing, we do all the stuff couples do, and i really didnt mind, its just a label.

 

Dude thts ur answer rite there. Uve been wit her 6 months but She tells other dudes shes single, she treats u like crap but wont eva say sorry 2 u, she wont eva get in touch n tell u she misses u, aint eva gona make u feel good. So u take it else she aint gona see u no more. Dude u r losin ur self respect. Aint no girl worth that sh*t. She aint worth ur time, find a girl who is.

 

you are prolly right, deep down i knew this wasnt going to last, but i thought it would last a few more months, i just guess i wasnt careful at all and got too envolved, and now that i realize i have to dump her its harder than i thought.

[Eddie Edirol]

Ok, you are all probably right here.

 

Still im not sure about letting her go, itll be really hard for me to do so. i never had to end a relationship with someone i loved, ive always ended relationships cause the passion and love were simply not there anymore.

 

Heres what will make it easier to let her go.

 

I think, in your case, that you got trapped in a rebound situation. Everything you described, screams of a woman who is scorned, and is using you to try to heal from her previous bf. She wont put a label on your relationship, she cheated ion you in the beginning, she doesnt respect you, flirts with other guys, all of it. She doesnt initiate calls with you because she doesnt need to hear from you. If you didnt call her, you either wont hear from her again, or you wont hear from her for a couple weeks,she would find someone new, and do the same thing to him. She is flirting with guys in the club because she is looking for someone to make her forget about her ex, you arent doing that for her. She is looking right over your head.

 

She is still hurting from the bf that dumped her, and is using you as a stepping stone. She never loved you, she is just telling you just enough that you need to hear to keep you wrapped around her finger for what she needs. She already knows she will dump you when shes ready, when she feels like she can find better, thats why she doesnt respect you now. She is stepping all over you, and you are putting up with it. You dont demand any respect from her and she will dump you really soon. I suggest you go back to the club, and use her to attract other women, and start talking to them in front of her, because this is what she is doing to you. Get unattached to this woman fast before you get seriously hurt.

[nofool4u]

Still when guys ask her, she says im not her bf

 

been seeing each other for 6 months, but you aren't her bf?

 

she doesn't want other men thinking she has a boyfriend. So don't be.

 

move on and find a girl that will give you more respect than to keep her options open with other guys by feeling the need to make sure they think you aren't he bf, when you really are.

 

don't call her again. and if she asks you why you aren't calling her, tell her, "I'm not your boyfriend, remember?"

 

 

ok this is how it happened:

the other night we were at this club, she was there with a a couple of friends of hers, then we meet and tells me some guy gave her his cell phone, and right after that the guy appears, and asks for his cellphone back, and checks to see if my gf had added her number.

 

don't call her again.

 

 

Im mad at her, i guess i should be, I mean I trust her and i dont think she would cheat on me

 

then you are fooling yourself. she is telling guys you aren't her bf and is giving her number out.

 

 

This happened a two days ago, i havent texted or called her since, and im sure that even if she misses me and thinks she was wrong, she wont ever call me and tell me shes sorry, shes too proud to do so.

 

good, because i you stay with he, she WILL cheat on you. the writing is on the wall, you just don't want to read it.

 

 

I really miss her, and I know I could see her again if i just let it go, but i dont really think I should.

 

No, you shouldn't. don't be her yes boy. don't let her wrap you around her finger.

 

I'm telling you, no good can come with staying with and obvious girlfriend that is telling guys that you are NOT her bf.

 

start dating other girls and don't call her back.

and again, if she calls wondering why you didn't call tell her, "I'm not your boyfriend, remember?"

[Professor X]

Okay, we meet three times a week, i know her fokes, they call me her bf, then her friends they all say im her bf. And then a couple of weeks ago, i asked her why wouldnt she say shes my gf to others, or maybe openly amdit it to everyone, and she said it was the same thing, we do all the stuff couples do, and i really didnt mind, its just a label.

Son, it's just a label when both parties act accordingly. But if she walks around telling people you ain't her BF than you ain't her BF, more so when she gives out her number to random guys.

I suspect you're just a safety net for her.

 

Please, don't tell me you're that thick you can't see it??

[Stevet99]

thanks to everyone for you opinion, you are really helping me out, im really confused atm, i just cant see things clearly. I keep on changing my mind, i guess i just need time to sort everything out.

 

she texted me today, telling me she was sorry that she missed me and wanted to see me, but im not really sure if i want to see her. if we meet ill prolly tell her how ive felt about this whole thing, and see if she has anything to say about it and ask for some time to unwind.

[jnj express]

Your not really in love, you just have some hot passion/infatuation going

 

This is not a relationship---its YOU DOING EVERYTHING---and her doing what she "wants"

 

What she "wants"---is to completely "dis" you right in front of you---by giving her phone #, to another----she knew you were there---she still messed with the other guy

 

She does drugs, and probably drinks to much----and she iniates nothing----is this the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with

 

It took her 3 days to contact you, and only cuz you stopped calling her-----if she was really into you---she would have been remorseful, and contrite--IMMEDIATELY----and would have tried to straighten out her screw up, right away

 

This is your life---you can stay with this probable cheater, or you can move on and try to find a person, who won't do these kinds of thing to you

 

But whatever, please stop with your BABBLE about how you LOVE her---you don't even know what TRUE, MATURE LOVE, even is

[nofool4u]

she texted me today, telling me she was sorry that she missed me and wanted to see me, but im not really sure if i want to see her.

 

what does it matter that she says she is sorry, because for one thing she probably isn't. saying this just to suck you back in.

 

you think her saying she is sorry takes away her desire to make sure other guys think you are not her bf? you think it takes away her desire to make sure other guys thinks she is on the market?

 

I wouldn't even reply to her if I were you. I'd go a step further and block her.

[Space Ritual]

thanks to everyone for you opinion, you are really helping me out, im really confused atm, i just cant see things clearly. I keep on changing my mind, i guess i just need time to sort everything out.

 

she texted me today, telling me she was sorry that she missed me and wanted to see me, but im not really sure if i want to see her. if we meet ill prolly tell her how ive felt about this whole thing, and see if she has anything to say about it and ask for some time to unwind.

 

WTF are you doing?

 

NO CONTACT....

NO CONTACT....

 

one more time with feeling...

NO CONTACT....

 

If you stay in contact with her you will go back to this ridiculous treatment at her hands....and you will have only yourself to blame....

 

Get rid of that phone number and never speak to this skank again