dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I hope I don't sound horribly general when I say this....but I'm getting SO frustrated lately! Why does it seem like all guys want is sex? Are there any nice guys out there or are there just guys that are better at acting nice when their real motive is to get inside girls pants?? I want a guy that falls in love with me for my body, mind and soul....NOT just my body. Is that possible or am I just dreaming? I dated this guy for 7 months and just now I find out that he was really a jerk who only wanted my body. Wonderful...story of my crappy life....girls, guys....tell me how it is...is this just the reality of the world or what? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Well, I know of one genuinely nice guy who loves me for all the right reasons - but he's taken!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Author Share Posted May 12, 2004 Ok...you say your guy loves you for the right reasons. But how do you know? Is there a way of telling that he wants more than your body?? Is there a way I can tell early on in a relationship whether a guy is scum or a "nice" guy or what? Sorry if this sounds like a dumb question but I'm really confused about this and need all the help I can get. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I dunno.. I mean, he leaves absolutely no question in my mind, that's how I know. Everyone else did leave question... Link to post Share on other sites
kimber Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 thats awsome that you found someone like that!!! Only happened once to me and I let it go..... Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I know of one. But you can't have him Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 There are plenty of wonderful men out there. The problem is that their natural habitat is not where you normally find men. They tend to be a shy species. It's the dickheads that have a high profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 There are plenty of wonderful men out there. The problem is that their natural habitat is not where you normally find men. They tend to be a shy species. Hrm, seems you really do understand. Are there any nice guys out there or are there just guys that are better at acting nice when their real motive is to get inside girls pants?? I doubt any of my ex's pants would have fit me. I'm not cheap, I can buy my own pants. I ultimately lose a relationship because I look towards the future and plan ahead. Most girls my age aren't ready for anything serious, they just want to have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 dreaming4ever I dated this guy for 7 months and just now I find out that he was really a jerk who only wanted my body.The warning signs should be clear. If he hangs out with jerks, he probably is one. If he lies to other people, he would probably lie to you. If he doesn’t respect other people, he probably won’t respect you. If it is too good to be true, it probably is. A nice guy doesn’t have to convince you that he is a “nice guy.” Bill I ultimately lose a relationship because I look towards the future and plan ahead.Overt planning tends to take the magic and romance out of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Are there any nice guys out there AT ALL? Yes. Yes. Yes!! And finding one is like hitting the lottery! I got lucky and stumbled upon my prince charming...but only after kissing a few toads, first. They can't ALL be taken...so give it some time. And just like the lottery, you have play (and even lose a few times) before you finally win. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 We are built to procreate, not to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Didn't you just get married? Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Yeah...I'm in a better mood now. When I wrote that I had just read about the Nick Berg incident and I was feeling a little down and very cynical, not common for me, but it happens. The above quote is also a reflection that I've spent the last few days researching pair bonding, dopamine signaling, vasopressin, oxytocin, and downregulation of those corresponding receptors...hence I should have prefaced my comment with "from a neuro chemical perspective", but I do appologize for the flip comment...out of character for me. Marriage is fantastic actually...I'm actually surprised that our relationship is getting better than it was, and I always thought we had a fantastic relationship. But the last few days have just been amazing....and besides this morning when I read every story I could find on this incident, I've been on top of the world. Anyway...I am damn happy and I guess I have the capacity for more than the act of procreation! Yeah, life is good... Link to post Share on other sites
Heoga Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever I want a guy that falls in love with me for my body, mind and soul....NOT just my body. Is that possible or am I just dreaming? I dated this guy for 7 months and just now I find out that he was really a jerk who only wanted my body. Wonderful...story of my crappy life....girls, guys....tell me how it is...is this just the reality of the world or what? I can tell you that we do exist and that we are out there. I tend to fall for the mind and soul rather as the body, not to say I ignore the body (I am male after all), but just that it's secondary. Look for the thinkers, if a guy thinks and dreams a lot, chances are he'll be looking for a girl who does the same and will fall for that kind of mind. That's the best clue I can think to give you that is the hardest for a guy to fake. I hope you don't have to dream4ever, Karl Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Author Share Posted May 12, 2004 Thanks Heoga, you've given me some hope. I'm one of those thinkers too so I guess I'll just look for someone like myself. Thanks so much...I also hope I don't have to dream4ever. For once I want a guy to be completely in love with my every move, every word and to want to understand me and kiss me and just be with me all the time. I don't think that's too much to ask....that's what I'm looking for...but for some reason I tend to always fall harder for a guy than he falls with me. I guess I'll just keep looking! Link to post Share on other sites
BlueHeavens Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 It is so hard to stay optimistic about this. Logically I am sure there are some really great people out there. However, it's a good thing I like frogs/toads/snakes because that is really what I seem to meet. I am working hard on recognizing this earlier in a relationship so that I can not get suckered into things where people are only looking out for themselves...not looking to be part of a team. It's so frustrating when you feel like you have a lot to offer and people not only don't seem to appreciate it, they also take advantage of it. Ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 men are like parking spaces...the good ones are either taken or handicapped. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 what papi said "There are plenty of wonderful men out there. The problem is that their natural habitat is not where you normally find men. They tend to be a shy species. It's the dickheads that have a high profile." of course it doesn't help my cause that I don't look like the stereo typical nice guy...I'm one rough looking dude as guys have said. I can't help it if I look tough blockhead is a little off though "If he hangs out with jerks, he probably is one." I used to hang out with the jerks cause I enjoyed watching them and their craft...I was a virgin then for pete's sake! , I might be the only one who was a virgin that liked hanging out with players as they "played"...don't be a playa hata as they say, lol Of course I neither have money or drugs so I'm not the catch Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever ...For once I want a guy to be completely in love with my every move, every word and to want to understand me and kiss me and just be with me all the time. I don't think that's too much to ask....that's what I'm looking for... What you are looking for usually lasts for the first few weeks to month of a new relationship. This is the "puppy love" phase where you are so infatuated with one another that you can't get enough of each other. I'm assuming you must have shared that with the 7-month guy at some point, no? That stage does not last very long. Perhaps you should be looking for stronger, more important characteristics in future potential partners. And yes, there are guys out there who will treat you properly. Sometimes I lose faith, but I try myself to believe that there are women out there who will treat guys decently as well. Do not label a gender because of experience with one of its members. Time will go by and you will meet someone else, and whether or not he is good for you I have a strong feeling that, for at least a while, you will be happy. Finding a decent guy is not difficult at all, as at any given moment there are quite a few in your immediate area. Now, for some women, learning what a decent guy is and going for a decent guy rather than an a-hole... that is what is difficult to do! Some women just are not happy long enough with a decent guy, and miss the a-holes because they have an "edge" or some other curious things I have heard mentioned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Author Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by faux What you are looking for usually lasts for the first few weeks to month of a new relationship. This is the "puppy love" phase where you are so infatuated with one another that you can't get enough of each other. I'm assuming you must have shared that with the 7-month guy at some point, no? That stage does not last very long. Perhaps you should be looking for stronger, more important characteristics in future potential partners. I'd have to disagree with you. I don't think what I'm looking for are characteristics of a new relationship. I've been with a guy for 2 years and 9 months before and STILL at that point I was really happy with him and wanted to be with him a lot of the time and all of those other things I mentionned. I didn't really have this much in my most recent 7 month relationship because he's an unusual guy....but I think wanting a guy to care about ALL of me and really love me in many different ways are important characteristics to want in a guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe men are like parking spaces...the good ones are either taken or handicapped. I wonder what Hokey would say to that! Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Are there any nice guys out there AT ALL? I'm in a rotten mood, so I'm going to say no. Now let me clarify: My neighbor's husband is a nice guy. My gay friend, Ryan, is a nice guy. My grandpa is a nice guy. So, are there any nice guys out there that are: single, straight, and within the age range that I have set for a prospective lover? No, there aren't! Ask me again on Friday. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Durden Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Im a nice guy Could say the same thing about woman though!!! I'm yet to meet a nice one!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Usually when I hear people cry "are there any nice men/women out there", its usually people who base attraction, rather than friendship, as the foundation which they build their relationships on. Link to post Share on other sites
browneyes Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 When you least expect it you will find that nice guy you are looking for. Believe me he's out there. Like EgnimaXOXO said you will kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince, but don't go looking for him because chances are you'll never find him let him come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts