dreaming4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 What do you guys/girls think?? If you were really in love with your ex and he broke up with you.....is it a stupid idea to be friends?? I originally told my ex (when we broke up) that I couldn't see him for a VERY long time, if ever, because I knew it would hurt too much to see him and know I can't have him. However, he begged me to be his best friend....cuz we were dating but also best friends. But we weren't best friends BEFORE we dated. Anyways, he cried about it so I said yes. But everything is so complicated....do you think it's a good idea to be friends with an ex or will it just result in complications and more hurt?? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I think that it is possible being best friends with an ex *only* when you have gotten over him, you have no romantic feelings for him anymore, and possibly you are in a relationship with/interested in a guy that is not him. If you still have feelings towards him, trying to be his best friends will only bring you to an heartbreak. Also, if you still have feelings for him, and would like to get back with him, let him know that while it's too early for you to see him as a friend, and perhaps you never will want to, if he wanted to get together with you again as your boyfriend and try to make things work, it is very okay for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 People who ask this question never seem to realise that it's not just possible, but ESSENTIAL, to be friends with your NON-ex. Why should it have to be any different if you're not together anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
kklove Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Yes, it is possible to be friends with an ex. I am friends with all of my ex's and it works out pretty good. Now, keep in mind that most of them want to be with me but I just let them know what is going on with me and my dating situation so that they don't ever get the wrong impression. I believe it is healthier to be friends so that if you see them out it is not weird, however, if you still want to be with them, distance yourself till you find someone new and that will help you get over them. Some of my very best, reliable and loving friendship are with my ex's. I don't talk to them about dating too much though because I have come to realize the less I know the better. It will just bring up questions and pain from past situations, so keep it friendly and topics on work, family, friends, etc. I hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyinMN Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 An EX of mine and myself are thinking about trying it one more time. We broke up like three years ago, didn't talk but once a year I just told her lastnight that it was all or non. I can't be freinds with someone I was a lover with. I'm sorry but thats just how I am! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 im trying to be friends with my ex...so far its not working cause he never calls me or anything..so i duno Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I am friends w/ my ex husband AND his wife, and my husband is friends with them too......our kids play together....different situation but it works for us Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 I think that if you are friends with an Ex it means that that is just one more way/excuse for you to hold onto him/them. Also it could mean that they could be there for back up. Maybe. I don't know. That's just what I think. I guess it depends on the situation really. I not really friends with any of my Ex's now. I rarely speak to any of them. . Not lately. No need too. . Link to post Share on other sites
ecbig Posted May 16, 2004 Share Posted May 16, 2004 In my experience, it just depends on the people. I would give it a try. It's always better to attempt being friends with someone first!! It's not real likley that a friendship will work out in your case, but it doesn't hurt to try. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
gd1039 Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Although I think it is possible to be friends with them, I wouldn't do it myself. There is a reason you broke up with them or they broke up with you. If you have a big enough problem meeting friends that you need to hold on to your ex, by all means do it. But for the rest of us, I see no reason to be friends with them. It makes everyone around you uncomfortable when you and your ex hang out. We don't say it but we all think it I mean really...you can always find another friend just think of all the friends you have had throughout the years. Forget about the ex and find other friends. To me it just seems like a bad excuse to hold on to what you had with that person, with the exception that they are a backup. But then again, there was a reason you broke up so it probably wont work out this time either. And on the other hand...I could be completely wrong. If my post wasn't enough to convince you (which I am sure it hasn't), I suggest listening to Pyrannaste and waiting until you are completely over them and then deciding if you want to be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 well i've moved on...i've found someone new and its so much better than waiting around for him......he's just a little boy and ive come to realize that i wont be with him...i want to be with the guy im with now for forever...cause we both feel the same way..be happy fo me =D Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_girl_gina Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 I THINK IT IS GOOD. UNLESS OF COURSE THIS WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. I REMAINED FRIENDS WITH MY EX, AND IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME GET OVER HIM. WE MET IN HIGH SCHOOL. DATED OFF AND ON FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. THEN HE GRADUATED, WHEN I WAS STILL A JUNIOR ,AND SO I STARTED A NEW RELATIONSHIP. BUT HE WAS STILL AROUND, I NEVER REALLY GOT OVER HIM. UNTIL WE MET UP AGAIN AFTER I GRADUATED. WE HAVE REMAINED BEST FRIENDS SINCE THEN. ITS BEEN 8 YEARS. STAYING HIS FRIEND MADE ME GET TO KNOW HIM EVEN BETTER AND ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM THAN WHEN WE DATING. THIS OF COURSE IS WHEN HE REALLY BECAME HIMSELF AROUND ME. THEN I STARTED NOTICING MORE AND MORE ANNOYING THINGS ABOUT HIM. I KNOW ALL HIS SECRETS NOW ALL HIS BAD HABITS. AND THAT HELPED ME TO REALIZE HIS NOT THE RIGHT GUY FOR ME ,RELATIONSHIP WISE. BUT AS MY BEST FRIEND HE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT CAN HAPPEN FROM THERE. WE MAY FIND OURSELVES IN OUR MID 30'S AND REALIZE WE ARE RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER. SO GIVE HIM A CHANCE AS A FRIEND. IT MAY BE GOOD FOR BOTH OF YOU.[font=courier new][/font] Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Originally posted by ziggue I think that if you are friends with an Ex it means that that is just one more way/excuse for you to hold onto him/them. Also it could mean that they could be there for back up. Maybe. I don't know. That's just what I think. I guess it depends on the situation really. I not really friends with any of my Ex's now. I rarely speak to any of them. . Not lately. No need too. . In my situation I am not holding onto him, as I really respect his wife and am REALLY HAPPY in my current marriage. It does depend on the situation and/or maturity of everyone. My ex and I were not friends for probably about a year, but then after that, we and our spouses didn't see the point of fighting anymore and we actually like them for the people they are, no more hard feelings Of course, all situations are different, ours just happen to work out fine Link to post Share on other sites
whatswrong23 Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 heck no! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted May 18, 2004 Author Share Posted May 18, 2004 Well people...thanks for your fine advice. You DID help a lot. I ended up being friends with my ex...best friends just like he wanted....and we hung out twice as best friends and now we're back together as of today so....ya....i'm excited. This is great!! He begged to have me back cuz he was miserable without me...those are his words....I hope this works out this time! YAY!! GO ME!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 dreaming4ever,this is great news best of luck to you both! Link to post Share on other sites
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