thatsparklystuff Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 So I work with two of my friends, and we all hang out, go to the bar etc. One night my girls go out without me, meet a bunch of people. I couldn't go cause I was at work and way too tired. So I hear all about the night at the bar, great stories and characters. The weekend coming we all go again, to the same bar. I meet a few of the characters they mention. There's one guy there that one of my friends was going to hook up with, they exchanged number and friendly banter. No big deal. Then he tries to get my number. I added my name, but didn't give my number and saved it hoping he would be too intoxicated to really pay attention. I was wrong, he caught it and asked again. Relentlessly, not trying to make things awkward I did. So that night he was begging my friend to go home with him, cuddle, etc. She said no, next time. We all went home. On the way home, he texted her asking her to turn around. She said no and that they would hang out later. Besides, she was our ride and she wasn't exactly prepared. Now here's the issue. This guy started texting me the next day, not big deal. BUT, now he's saying he likes me and wants to take me out blah blah blah. He's a cute guy, but my friend and him were going to hook up etc. I tried very politely to keep his attention to her, telling him she gets off work before I do etc. But he's very persistent. I don't want to make things awkward or weird, we all go to the bar and he and his friends are regulars as far as I know. I do think he's cute, and I do kinda dig him, but I value my friendships and connections more. I would rather hurt the drunk guy at the bar, then create animosity between my friends and myself. But I would like advice. I stopped texting him today, and have repeatedly told him I cant and will not go out with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I stopped texting him today, and have repeatedly told him I cant and will not go out with him. This is why he keeps bugging you, you havent closed the door in his mind. When you say you cant, you leave a chance open in his mind because "i cant" means you want to, but some other reason you wont. Which is exactly how you think you are letting him down nicely. But letting him down nicely wont work. Next time he texts you, tell him you are not interested in him, and you will never be interested in him, and to leave you alone. After that, dont answer any more of his texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatsparklystuff Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 This is why he keeps bugging you, you havent closed the door in his mind. When you say you cant, you leave a chance open in his mind because "i cant" means you want to, but some other reason you wont. Which is exactly how you think you are letting him down nicely. But letting him down nicely wont work. Next time he texts you, tell him you are not interested in him, and you will never be interested in him, and to leave you alone. After that, dont answer any more of his texts. I didn't see it that way. Thanks Eddie!! Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Yes, with guys who are interested in you but you are not, always be firm YET gentle, and then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Well, you told him today that it's not happening. That's early to say he "won't stop texting". How many times has he texted since you told him it's useless? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatsparklystuff Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 Yes, with guys who are interested in you but you are not, always be firm YET gentle, and then move on. You're right, BUT it didn't seem to work. I told him that I was only interested in being friends with him. his response was "OK" and then texts after that just kept rambling on about how much he liked me and that he and my friend hardly knew each other. Just awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatsparklystuff Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 Well, you told him today that it's not happening. That's early to say he "won't stop texting". How many times has he texted since you told him it's useless? He has texted me three times, and facebook msgd me when he saw that I posted a status update. He somehow found me and added me, this was before things got weird. Link to post Share on other sites
UpDownAllAround Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) You're right, BUT it didn't seem to work. I told him that I was only interested in being friends with him. his response was "OK" and then texts after that just kept rambling on about how much he liked me and that he and my friend hardly knew each other. Just awkward. Now that he's shown he's a jerk and won't let up, you, unfortunately, have to be mean and say "I'm sorry but I am not and will never EVER be interested in you in THAT way. Please do NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO CONTACT ME IN ANY WAY EVER AGAIN." Then block him from Facebook and block his number and email if necessary. Sometimes guys who are dense won't take the hint until it gets to that level or it hurts them. If he still continues, that's stalker territory, and you should threaten to get the police involved. Edited September 23, 2011 by UpDownAllAround Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 It's gotta be annoying but ignoring entirely is sometimes more effective than engaging to tell the guy to screw off. Treat him like nothing if he's nothing to you. Don't engage if you see him again. You don't owe him an explanation or anything. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thatsparklystuff Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 It's gotta be annoying but ignoring entirely is sometimes more effective than engaging to tell the guy to screw off. Treat him like nothing if he's nothing to you. Don't engage if you see him again. You don't owe him an explanation or anything. Good luck. Thanks Frisky! Workin on that right now!! Link to post Share on other sites
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