Does it sound like he and I have a chance in the future?

[RatsAreCool]

I tried to keep it short but it's a complicated situation. This guy just broke up with me even though he really liked me. I know he did. He once ran 3.5 miles to my house, then woke up at like four in the morning to run back because his roommate borrowed his car and mine had been impounded.

 

But he wasn't ready to commit either. He mentioned at the beginning of the "relationship" waiting until he was ready for something committed because I was "the most perfect girl he could ever ask for" but that he wasn't ready. I asked him when he broke up with me if he remembered saying that and he said "Yes." I asked if he still felt that way and he said "kind of" (Although I think he meant more than "kind of," he was on this whole trip about trying to get me to let the relationship go, so he would have told me if he really didn't see us getting together again. More on that later.)

 

He never lied about his reasons--he's only had one relationship and I guess it was really bad. His other interactions with girls have been hook ups and he wasn't ready to give that up (he's 24). He's also having a hard time with his life right now, with work and everything. He doesn't know what to do with his degree and I was taking up a lot of his time.

 

BUT at the same time he also admitted we weren't FWB... he was joking about it once and I got mad at him and he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, kissed my neck and said "No, we're not friends with benefits."

 

At first when he broke it off I asked him if he still liked me and he answered without hesitation "of course I do." I then wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up into his face (I was crying and begging a little). He pulled away from me and turned around, and when he faced me again his eyes were red and full of tears. He NEVER cries. Not even when his friend got in a bad car accident.

 

Anyway, after that I asked again "do you still like me?" only this time his response was "No, I don't." I believe very strongly though that he only said this to try to get me to move on, because later he started acting like a jerk and I said "Why are you doing this?" and he said "because you (as in me, the poster) can't handle it if I break it off nicely." I think it has to do wit hte begging.

 

He still wants to be friends. I apologized for trying to force him into a relationship he wasn't ready for. He responded to all my other texts except that one. He still wants to hang out in the future, but it's not about sex... this is shameful but I asked for a hook up after we broke up and he said no. When he saw me last he seemed excited to see me and was clearly physicallly attracted to me... he was checking out my butt. And the last break up conversation we had he promised he would keep in touch.

 

Having a hard time knowing what to think, but two therapists I've talked to say he will probably hang around...

 

...do you think he and I have a chance?

 

Please don't be mean, to me or to him. I know many of the people on this site have gone through hurtful breakups and so on, but not EVERY guy is just a commit-a-phobe, and not EVERY girl who gets into a situation like this is just letting herself be used (and I wasn't).

 

Plus, it's true. When you're not ready, you're not ready. Especially if you're a man.