jealoustype Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) My boyfriend lives in another city. His sister and mother are friends with his ex. He says he wants nothing to do with her. His mother invited him to go out with her, his sister, and his ex. His sister also asked him to call his ex when her cat died. I can't help but think his family wants him to get back with and am worried that he might eventually go out with her because he is so close to his family and i'm not there. In the past, he texted her happy birthday, so she texted him and asked him if he is coming to her house for an after birthday party treat, and he texted her back several times, but said he told her no that he couldn't. I asked him to take her off his facebook page because everytime I opened up facebook, her picture would be on there, and he had a fit. He wouldn't take her off his facebook page because he said that it didn't matter, because he didn't pay attention to facebook much. I know he loves me, but I can't help but be insecure since we live far away, and can't see each other often. Edited September 23, 2011 by jealoustype adding more Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 he's lying, in all likelihood, about the sister/mother being the ones dragging him to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Kinder-Horror Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) I can absolutely understand your unease with the situation. It would be extremely hard for me if my boyfriend's family kept him involved with his ex. I DO have to mention that it seems like when guys/girls don't want to unfriend someone of the opposite sex (be it an ex or a "friend") on FB, they always seem to say that they never really pay attention to facebook and that it shouldn't matter (same goes with the whole relationship status change). Could be true... or it is just a reason to get you to forget about it and move on. Also...why does his ex feel comfortable asking him to come over to her place for an after party birthday treat? And why wasn't his response "No, I have a girlfriend"? Bottom line, you cannot be upset with your boyfriend for his family's actions - but you can be upset with your boyfriends actions. If you feel he isn't respecting your feelings, then a calm, mature discussion is an order. After all, if the situation were reversed, he would expect you to respect his feelings on the matter...right? Edited September 23, 2011 by Kinder-Horror Corrections Link to post Share on other sites
One Night Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Yes you have a right to be jealous, should you be? no, you should let him to his own lies and his "ex" girlfriend, because he is playing you! don't waste your time, he may have broke up with her at some point but he is not over her and she's not over him, and you are just filling in for her when he needs it. Sorry, I don't mean to sound cold, but it's hard to see his flaws when you are in love with a jackass. Link to post Share on other sites
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I asked him to take her off his facebook page because everytime I opened up facebook, her picture would be on there, and he had a fit. He wouldn't take her off his facebook page because he said that it didn't matter, because he didn't pay attention to facebook much. I know he loves me, but I can't help but be insecure since we live far away, and can't see each other often. I'm confused......is his main FB pic one of him and her? How is it that you have to see a pic of her when you go to his page? Where is her pic on his page? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jealoustype Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 her picture shows up on the side of the page when I open up his page because he is friends with her Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 One of the things you need to learn is to trust your own instincts. We can give you advice but if your instincts are giving you a reason to be jealous, it may be time to act on them. Case in point my ex use to go out drinking with guy friends all the time. There were only 2 people I ever got jealous of her drinking with. Her ex boyfriend, who she finally admitted to cheating on me with, and her new boyfriend that she left me for. I was never worried about anyone else. Like I said trust your own instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 You need to suggest boundaries to your bf to protect your relationship. If his mother and sister want to continue to socialize with her, there is nothing you can do about that, but you can say to your bf that you would prefer that he not socialize with her, since she is in the past, and should have no place in his life. Tell him you would like him to defriend her on fb. She really doesn't belong there. He's not supposed to be friends with an X gf. It's a threat to your relationship. Tell him if she contacts him, you would like him to make it clear that he is in a relationship and is not interested in socializing or maintaining a friendship with X gfs. You have a right to make these requests. They are not unreasonable, and are necessary to protect your relationship. Let him know you are not normally the jealous type, but that you think it's not appropriate to keep an X gf in the picture, even if it is as a friend. Tell him you need him to respect your feelings about this, because it is for the good of the relationship with him. Tell him you love him (assuming you do) and don't want anything to come between you, so he needs to do this for you. If he insists on keeping contact with her, I would suggest you tell him you can't stay with a man who still has feelings for his X, and then be prepared to end it if he insists on keeping her in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 He says he wants nothing to do with her. he texted her happy birthday he texted her back several times He wouldn't take her off his facebook page When someone's words do not match their actions there is only one conclusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Vanessa-Anne Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 My boyfriend had some ex's on his facebook. I said remove them or I'm done. He removed them within a second. In my eyes, if he loves you - he would do anything for you? But then again, Im an evil b*tch when it comes to men haha treat em mean, keep em keen :') Link to post Share on other sites
piggyoink Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Doesnt sound very secure if you're worried about something on facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My boyfriend had some ex's on his facebook. I said remove them or I'm done. If you said that to me I would say don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Treat em mean, keep em keen :') Link to post Share on other sites
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