Around what age do women start to become less desirable

[AHardDaysNight]

I think people should stick with their own age, for the most part.

 

The only difference is if there is a maturity or experience gap. Like, for example, I am still studying at a community college, live at home, and have no job. Someone who's 29, who's settled in a good career, makes money, and isn't a broke college student is not going to find me sexually desirable.

 

What are my choices then? Well, I can wait 5 years, until I graduate, have a job, and most likely have my own house and way of life. However, is this really acceptable? I'm not getting any younger, I have needs, and they're not being fed. There's only so much porn a guy can consume before he says "enough."

 

So, therefore, my choice is to date 19 year olds. Yes, the 19 year old will probably be not the most attractive physically, being that women at that age (who are hotties) have options, and I'm not the most attractive man. But I need dating experience, and therefore I have to settle.

 

I know I'm going to get angry replies to this from women on here, but I don't care. You're always telling me to date someone "in my league"...well, I'm essentially saying the same thing. Any guy who could have a hottie would have her, but since I can't I will date someone in my league.

[mesmerized]

Dating younger men is accepted by society. I see a few young guys dating older women. Thing is, the women who are dating younger men are more good-looking than most their own age. I don't understand why the average 35 upwards thinks a younger man would be interested, but speaking as a young man, I will accept the money and the presents older women want to give to me but I would never sleep with an older woman. I'd rather take a plain-looking 18 year old.

 

I have nothing against younger guys dating older women, still I have to admit that it's rather funny for women to assume that they are entitled to sex with young, good-looking men because they see courtney love doing it on cougar town. keep on investing money on me, I'm not complaining, and very attractive young women aren't cheap; thanks for contributing!

 

Whatever rocks your boat. There are men who won't sleep with older women and there are some who gladly will. Same applies to women, I wouldn't sleep with a guy I find old and ugly myself either. And if you think dating younger men is nearly as accepted as dating younger women, you are delusional, or an idiot. Your posts on this forum makes me suspect that you are both.

 

My point in general is that, looks matters to BOTH genders and sexually, a good body is also pretty important to turn a woman on. And for guys who really like to use "biology" to prove their shallowness, maybe they should read this too:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/000334729580014X

Edited October 2, 2011 by mesmerized

[AHardDaysNight]

If looks matter so much to women, why do I see so many in-shape women with fat, out-of-shape slobs?

 

You see, I can never ascertain which is right, and which is wrong? Do women care about looks, or don't they?

[mesmerized]

If looks matter so much to women, why do I see so many in-shape women with fat, out-of-shape slobs?

 

You see, I can never ascertain which is right, and which is wrong? Do women care about looks, or don't they?

 

Personally, I don't see many "in shape" women with fat slobs. In fact, I know way more couples that the woman is fatter. In any case, I think generally the raw animistic sexual desire is first and foremost stimulated by looks, for both genders. Sure, other factors come into play too, but looks is usually what gets your feet in the door. I believe a lot of women lie to themselves and settle for something less good looking because they think that's the way it should be, and that they are afraid they can't keep the more good looking man for long term. When it comes to sex alone, studies even say that women in fact value looks more than men when sex is all they are getting out of a relationship.

[AHardDaysNight]

What about if the guy is good looking in the face, but is obese?

 

I see so many instances where the guy has an ugly face, and a ripped body. And he's sitting home lonely on a Saturday night.

 

You can't surely say that ripped bodies count for everything.

[mesmerized]

What about if the guy is good looking in the face, but is obese?

 

I see so many instances where the guy has an ugly face, and a ripped body. And he's sitting home lonely on a Saturday night.

 

You can't surely say that ripped bodies count for everything.

 

Of course not, not even for women! I know even gorgeous women who don't get any action because of other factors.

 

Personally, obesity is a huge turn off for me, it doesn't get my vagina wet in the slightest and the only girls I've known who claimed to like chubby guys are chubby themselves.

 

If you are obese, go to the gym and change that about yourself, it's not an attractive quality and thankfully, it's something that you can change.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

What are my choices then? Well, I can wait 5 years, until I graduate, have a job, and most likely have my own house and way of life. However, is this really acceptable? I'm not getting any younger, I have needs, and they're not being fed. There's only so much porn a guy can consume before he says "enough."

 

So, therefore, my choice is to date 19 year olds. Yes, the 19 year old will probably be not the most attractive physically, being that women at that age (who are hotties) have options, and I'm not the most attractive man. But I need dating experience, and therefore I have to settle.

 

I know I'm going to get angry replies to this from women on here, but I don't care. You're always telling me to date someone "in my league"...well, I'm essentially saying the same thing. Any guy who could have a hottie would have her, but since I can't I will date someone in my league.

 

Well, I don't personally believe in "leagues". No one knows how two people will connect. Where one person isn't the best, their partner might be and there is nothing wrong with that. Ugly people can date good looking ones if there is an attraction for both. Smart people can date dumb ones if they like other things about them. No one is a whole package of perfectness. And matchy matchy for life partners seems a bit boring to me.

 

What bothers me about your comments though is that you clearly want the "hotties". And the other women you may date will be women you consider a settlement for. While you will probably continue to look at porn of really hot women wishing you had them while you build a relationship with a girl that you think is less because of her looks. And to me it's a bit messed up and selfish. But this is something a lot of men do. I jsut don't think it's healthy or right. I've dated men of all shapes and sizes and incomes and these were not the factors that made them worse or better. I'd take Jon Stewart over Brad Pitt any day. My point is that you must stop measuring women as if their only worth is their looks or yours. There are so many more fun things that go into a relationship then just that.

[FitChick]

When you are breeding, age is important. After 50, women should date younger men because men die 8-10 years before women do. That's why there are so many widows. They all married older men. All the family savings go toward paying for the sick old men, so that when these women are alone and old, they are destitute.

 

Possible reasons for women who look good being with fat, flabby men:

 

1. When they first got married, the men looked good but let themselves go.

 

2. The women might have been equally fat and flabby but decided they wanted a sex life, so lost the weight for their new lover.

[Sanman]

I think people should stick with their own age, for the most part.

 

The only difference is if there is a maturity or experience gap. Like, for example, I am still studying at a community college, live at home, and have no job. Someone who's 29, who's settled in a good career, makes money, and isn't a broke college student is not going to find me sexually desirable.

 

What are my choices then? Well, I can wait 5 years, until I graduate, have a job, and most likely have my own house and way of life. However, is this really acceptable? I'm not getting any younger, I have needs, and they're not being fed. There's only so much porn a guy can consume before he says "enough."

 

So, therefore, my choice is to date 19 year olds. Yes, the 19 year old will probably be not the most attractive physically, being that women at that age (who are hotties) have options, and I'm not the most attractive man. But I need dating experience, and therefore I have to settle.

I know I'm going to get angry replies to this from women on here, but I don't care. You're always telling me to date someone "in my league"...well, I'm essentially saying the same thing. Any guy who could have a hottie would have her, but since I can't I will date someone in my league.

 

I know you're getting flack for this, but this is essentially what it all boils down to when you think about it. The question is whether you can be happy with the compromises you make. Society does not make these things easy. I realized a while back, given my career and the monetary success associated that I have options. However, I still have my limits in life. I am an average/above average (depending on what you like) looking guy with a solid career and nice salary coming my way. I can either choose to date a hottie who makes less money or has some disparities in other ways compared to me or date an average/cute girl that complements me in many other areas (intelligence, career success, financial acuity/ responsibility, general strength of character). I chose the latter and am generally happy with the choice. Are there times I see the early 20 something hotties walking around the mall and wish I made a different choice? Sure I do. However, I have to remember that they will not offer me the other benefits my gf does. I could find someone more attractive that offers all that my gf does, but that is highly unlikely and I would need to likely better myself in a few ways (better income, get back my six-pack abs/lose weight, wear nicer/more expensive clothes). This is life and the choices we all face.

[Woggle]

Guys should know that actually getting one of those hotties comes with a whole load of baggage that makes it not worth it. Because they are so hot they never had to develop other parts of themselves so all you get is looks.

[Sanman]

Guys should know that actually getting one of those hotties comes with a whole load of baggage that makes it not worth it. Because they are so hot they never had to develop other parts of themselves so all you get is looks.

 

While there are exceptions, quoted for truthiness!

[Sanman]

Well, I don't personally believe in "leagues". No one knows how two people will connect. Where one person isn't the best, their partner might be and there is nothing wrong with that. Ugly people can date good looking ones if there is an attraction for both. Smart people can date dumb ones if they like other things about them. No one is a whole package of perfectness. And matchy matchy for life partners seems a bit boring to me.

 

You may not, but science bears out that people generally get together with others of a similar level of attractiveness. Even career success is often even because very different experiences simply do not mesh. Sure there are those relationships where things are uneven, but I do not find this to be a general rule.

[Mrlonelyone]

The answer to the original question is for the OP to date older men. Men are interested in younger women for lovers, always have been and always will be.

 

The reason a 20 year old has so many options is because there are just that many more older men when you are 20. The age at which a woman peaks is then the age where she is older than the available pool of men. These days that would be at about 45 to 50. At that point most of the men are either going to be terminally married, confirmed bachelors, or simply not relationship matterial.

[123321]

Yes, men have a higher rate of dying in job related incidences because men are more likely to take high risk testosterone fueled jobs then women are to begin with. Not because anyone is forcing these men to take these jobs but because men seem to have risker approach in general. It's why men engage in high injury sports more then women do as well.

Because they are trained from infancy to do so, as their role is societies disposable workhorses. "When you comin' home Dad? 'I don't know when'" as the song so clearly illustrates. Dad and son want to spend more time together but Dad has been trained to work hard as a way to prove to his family his value and his love for them.

 

His son later learns this lesson well "someday I'm gonna be like him".

 

 

 

 

Imperitives about how the child is taken care come after that first fact. The fact that younger parents have a higher chance of having a healthy child then older ones.

 

The difference for males is statistically hard to detect, let alone be significant in a world where many women die during childbirth often taking the child with them. As one biologist to clearly noted "nothing matters but grandchildren"; in other words managing to get impregnated or to give live birth is a small part of the genomes work (historically speaking, not so much in first world nations now), it has to ensure that the child has children and so on. That wasn't as simple as popping one out in the local hospital and applying for WIC for most of human history.

[AHardDaysNight]

There are many female construction workers.

There are many female policewomen.

There are many female soldiers.

There are many female doctors.

[TooAccepting32]

I haven't read all the responses.

I am 34 now, and with every year it seems I get more interest from guys -everywhere. Guys are into me who I would have only dreamt about when I was in my early twenties. Pity they're too young for me to date, but I do enjoy the attention. When a great 30 something woman is actually right there in front of them, I don't think a lot of guys care about actual age, as much as they care how attractive she is. I didn't have a clue when I was in my 20s... I've learned over the years what's hot and what's not, and I've developed a lot of confidence. I would NEVER assume a guy wouldn't want me because of my age... and I haven't had any embarrassing situations yet.

I don't tend to date men who are older than myself anymore. A lot of them are married or already divorced with kids or have issues. I won't go more than 5 years younger though. Men, with their beards and such generally don't look younger than a woman 5 years older anyway .

 

A (male) friend of mine said to me once... "You need a younger man to match your vitality... and it only makes sense that women date younger because men have shorter life spans"

 

Don't worry about your age... guys will say they like younger, but in reality it's attitude, confidence, and attractiveness that maintain your allure.

[AHardDaysNight]

I haven't read all the responses.

I am 34 now, and with every year it seems I get more interest from guys -everywhere. Guys are into me who I would have only dreamt about when I was in my early twenties. Pity they're too young for me to date, but I do enjoy the attention. When a great 30 something woman is actually right there in front of them, I don't think a lot of guys care about actual age, as much as they care how attractive she is. I didn't have a clue when I was in my 20s... I've learned over the years what's hot and what's not, and I've developed a lot of confidence. I would NEVER assume a guy wouldn't want me because of my age... and I haven't had any embarrassing situations yet.

I don't tend to date men who are older than myself anymore. A lot of them are married or already divorced with kids or have issues. I won't go more than 5 years younger though. Men, with their beards and such generally don't look younger than a woman 5 years older anyway .

 

A (male) friend of mine said to me once... "You need a younger man to match your vitality... and it only makes sense that women date younger because men have shorter life spans"

 

Don't worry about your age... guys will say they like younger, but in reality it's attitude, confidence, and attractiveness that maintain your allure.

 

I think this is because you're a late bloomer. You weren't as attractive in your 20's as you are now.

 

It's pretty common.

[TooAccepting32]

I think this is because you're a late bloomer. You weren't as attractive in your 20's as you are now.

 

It's pretty common.

 

You're definitely right about that... however the volume of attention is very surprising and noticeable to anyone, as well as the age range (often up to more than 10 years younger), and the fact that younger girls being present doesn't seem to make a difference.

 

I'm trying to offer encouragement to our OP.

She can still be plenty alluring if she uses her age to her advantage, continues to learn how to look good, and works on her self confidence. There's lots that can be done about self confidence. Lemme know if you want info.

[AHardDaysNight]

You're definitely right about that... however the volume of attention is very surprising and noticeable to anyone, as well as the age range (often up to more than 10 years younger), and the fact that younger girls being present doesn't seem to make a difference.

 

I'm trying to offer encouragement to our OP.

She can still be plenty alluring if she uses her age to her advantage, continues to learn how to look good, and works on her self confidence. There's lots that can be done about self confidence. Lemme know if you want info.

 

It's very similar to how many men who were rejected when they were younger, are able to date young, attractive women when they're older and more secure in themselves.

[TooAccepting32]

It's very similar to how many men who were rejected when they were younger, are able to date young, attractive women when they're older and more secure in themselves.

 

Yea, you're right. I've heard that from 30 something guys. They have more confidence when approaching women, and are therefore more successful with women of various ages. They didn't express more serious interest in younger women, but they did express how fantastic it feels being wanted by someone so young, and someone they couldn't have had years ago! I understand that.

[Woggle]

I think some of the appeal of slightly older women for younger men has to do with maturity. They tend to be over their need for drama and the need to chase jerks. The older women actually know how to appreciate a gentlemen that treats them well.

[123321]

I think some of the appeal of slightly older women for younger men has to do with maturity. They tend to be over their need for drama and the need to chase jerks. The older women actually know how to appreciate a gentlemen that treats them well.

 

Eh, it's mostly no strings sex. A 22 year old guy who's porking a 42 year old woman has no pressure to "move the relationship forward"; if she expects that she's a nut. They're both in it for the sex, and older women looking for sex are easy for young guys to pick up. Win-win, unless she is looking for a more serious relationship, in which case, yeah, not happening.

 

The older man younger woman dynamic is typically completely different.

[Woggle]

For some it is but I know guys in their 20s who date women in their 30s to avoid the drama.

[musemaj11]

Guys should know that actually getting one of those hotties comes with a whole load of baggage that makes it not worth it. Because they are so hot they never had to develop other parts of themselves so all you get is looks.

There is a reason the most successful women are mostly ugly as hell. That is because these women learned from the beginning that they werent attractive enough to attract a successful man who will let them join in their success without working for it, so they worked hard by themselves to achieve their own success.

 

A hot woman can have the money of a doctor simply by marrying a doctor but an ugly woman has to actually become a doctor in order to have the money of a doctor.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You may not, but science bears out that people generally get together with others of a similar level of attractiveness. Even career success is often even because very different experiences simply do not mesh. Sure there are those relationships where things are uneven, but I do not find this to be a general rule.

 

Does science say that or did a scientific study done from a group of people say it? There is a difference.

 

Sanman, out of all the couples I know, none of them have the same career experience and I would say that while some are of equal attractiveness, some aren't as well. Naturally you need to have things in common, usually values and probably other life style choices. However, everday I see couples together that aren't tit for tat "equals". If you believe you belong in a certain place, that is where you will be. I personally don't believe in "leagues" or rating people on scales from 1-10. There is no real scientifc way to measure such things. Where one person is good at math..another might be good at reading. Obviously the list goes on.