Jean Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Hi Well a situation has come up and I really do not know what to do, please help!! I was with this guy 10 years ago, Our relationship was awsome however I wanted something else so I moved across the country, I have returned about 1.5 years ago. Durning the time that I was gone we kept in touch via email and phone, He also came out to see me a few times. Now that I am back here I have met someone else, We have been together for over a year (not happy just conveniant for the both of us) This other guy was in a relationship then it ended. I never could bring myself to state my feelings for him although I have wanted to but just scared (I really hurt him when I left and I have said sorry but somethines that don't count). I would invite him out fo coffee then all of a sudden I could not say it so I would let it pass, I called him lastnight just to say boo and I found out that he LEFT!!! OMG!! I am freeking out big time at that point but felt that I deserved it for not saying anything to him before he left! Tonight I reinstall Yahoo messanger so I can chat with my mother and HE WAS THERE!!! I could not believe it, We chatted for a long time, I stopped the convo with my mother telling her that I had something to do. ALL FEELINGS CAME OUT! I so could not hold them in any longer, It ends up that he is not that far away from me at all (about 4 hour drive), then he started to tell me his feelings for me, he said that he could not tell at all that I was still interested in him at all, I was laughing cuz when we would see eachother i would shake and not beable to talk that much, Then he told me, "sweety your the one that got away" I asked what he ment ,he said I was going to ask you to marry me. I so want to be with him, We get along so well and we can talk about things, he knows me better then anyone (except for my mother) I have known him for years, went to high school together, we are both 34 now. I am in a relationship that I am not happy in and I do not trust this person that I am with at all, He has done things to KILL the trust, damn I am scared to go and see my kids for the fears of what will be happening in my home while i am gone!!! ( going to go this summer anyways)!!! i do try and talk to him and explain that I am not happy and that I do not want this anymore, He just signed another years lease with my name on it as well, so I feel that I have ot pay my part, inturn I told him that I wanted to be roommates, ok sounds crazy but I do not feel for this man anymore, nothing is left and I told him that it will not bother me to see him dating again, he always says thats just stupied!!! well no i do not think that it is OK now this is where i need help! How do I get him to understand that I want to be roommates and date this other man? P.S I would get my own place but I am still paying off the bills from past, hydro,gas bill... other people did not pay there bills and I could not pay it all on my own,,, bad credit!!!! need lights!! please help Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 How do I get him to understand that I want to be roommates and date this other man? You don't. What you want is to be free to date someone else while your ex stays on to help you pay the bills. It doesn't work like that and most sane people wouldn't want to be involved in such an arrangement, which is why thinks it's stupid. What do you think the new man is going to think of an arrangement like that? "We just broke up because I met you but he's only staying on as a room-mate." If I were him I wouldn't like the sound of that one bit. And what do you mean by saying he signed another years lease with your name on it? Did he forge your signature or something? Didn't you have to agree to this lease in the first place? I wouldn't think that there be much of a problem to change the lease. You need to end your current relationship and find a proper room-mate to share the rent. Link to post Share on other sites
jean Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 You are so very right!!! however there is information that is not said, again my mistake, The reason we got this place(the one we are in now) because he felt sorry for me and we both know that, he addmitted it, He was fully intested in someone else that i know but it did not work out, really long story but I do think that if i were reading what you read then i would feel the same way as you do, this was done for convenience and now that I am backing off ( have been for a long time) he wants more, we did get into this place together saying that it more then likly would not work and he keeps on saying it, so i do not see there being a problem with room mates, as he knows himself that's what he really wants, (bad situation) We agreed to another place, but we agreed to a much bigger place so that I would have my own room, distant we are both feeling it not just me, however the idea of a relationship he can not end that in himself, he will get a bigger place so that i can sleep on my own Yes you are right i really should find a place with someone that I was not involved with at all, and keep it that way, sorry i just did not want you to think that I was being crazy, it's 2 ways thanks Jean Link to post Share on other sites
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