ScienceGal Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) He just messaged me that he has the rest of my things and the money he owes me at his work. This is after ignoring me when I asked two months ago for these things, and after acting as if he didn't know me when I saw him for the first time a few weeks ago. He was with another woman. I held it together really well, and then he actually came up to me, extended his hand for a handshake and said "hi, I'm 'Joe' and I'm awesome". I said "I know... the first part, not the second" and then walked off. So, I gave up on getting my things back because he is clearly a jerk. The message made my stomach sink and I felt completely numb. I still have very strong feelings for him even though he is underserving. I will never try to make contact again and haven't since the message two months ago. I was never going to ask for my things again, but since he initiated I'll take the opportunity. But, I can't see him anytime soon. My stomach is in knots. I waited a couple hours and responded with "I'll send someone by, but probably not until next week". Whyyyy did he wait so long? I guess that means he is over it and ready to face me? ugh. I feel like there is nothing I can do to feel better. I miss him and I'm stuck with that feeling! Back story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t283996/ Edited September 23, 2011 by ScienceGal Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 It sucks to say it, but sometimes you just have to let the feeling sink in and feel it from top to bottom to get through it. And sometimes this is best thing you can do when you regress back into missing an ex. You did a wonderful job with replying too, being courteous, neutral, and short about it. I do admire you for that, as I probably would've been tempted to write more. And don't assume that because now he's contacted you that it means he's totally and completely over you. You never know, he could've been feeling as sick and down as you feel right now after reading your message two months ago, when you first tried to get your stuff back. Like you said, you held it together yourself when you saw him with another woman. People can be very good with hiding how they really feel after a break-up, unfortunately. I'm not saying any of this to give you hope either - in fact, this sounds harsh, but you should actually hope that he is somewhat over you so you can truly keep moving on. There could be a lot of reasons why he didn't offer your stuff back immediately two months ago. Busy, still processing the break-up, maybe he procrastinated and put it off, etc. Maybe he felt two months was long enough to have someone waiting, so he's doing it now? So he may not be totally over it, but has pulled it together enough now where he can give you your stuff back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScienceGal Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) Thank you Thieves. Apparently he didn't like the vagueness of my message that I was going to send someone in. He immediately called a mutual friend and had her go. I am wondering why he just didn't do that to begin with... why message me and try to get me to go get the stuff? So he can be cold and to make me feel even worse? There is no way it's because he wanted to see me. I think he is just trying to control the situation. I know I should be over it, but I am not. I am just not. Ah, gold ole regression... I am so thankful for LS. I have no one else to discuss such insanity with. Edited September 24, 2011 by ScienceGal Link to post Share on other sites
Arikel Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 I think he just didnt like that you seemed happy. Theres a thread in Coping forums about indifference driving dumpers crazy, and that may be the case. Keep up your NC SG, be strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScienceGal Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 Thank you Arikel. I am certainly NOT indifferent yet... but he doesn't know that I don't know what else to do except keep staying busy and keep looking happy. It is both sad and exhausting to have to fake it though Link to post Share on other sites
Arikel Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Yeah SG, it is! I know how you feel! But life goes on.. and letting ourselves look like a wreck is just giving them the satisfaction of knowing they can always get us back with breadcrumbs. Keep strong... eventually you WILL wake up and feel indifferent .. and you will know you are in a better place than you ever were before Link to post Share on other sites
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