My girlfriend is 5 years younger than me; I am 23. !

[camrond]

Well I love her. She's beautiful, affectionate and I really connect with her in conversation and other ways. I enjoy spending time with her tremendously and she is very committed to me. We've been together about 3 months.

 

Its not a big deal but sometimes the age difference stands out. I am doing graduate school and am 23 years old. She is an 18 year old freshman in college. We began dating the summer before her freshman year so I have been with her through the entire transition into college. My graduate school is approximately 200 miles away from her school too so it is sort of long-distance during the week. We are seeing each other almost every weekend and our familial homes are much closer to one another so we see each other on any holidays and breaks (like this summer when I met her we were only 30 minutes away from each other max).

 

So far the distance hasn't been an issue, its a challenge but its going ok.

 

The age difference, however, is somewhat apparent in our behavior. For example she finds it interesting to go out and drink alcohol and will discuss the event at length - including the details of how much she drank and what her friend said and such. To me this activity is dull and not worth conversation. Conversely, if I want to discuss events in my life (such as projects I am working on) or experiences with friends she doesn't really seem interested...I feel like I am boring her when I talk too lol.

 

Another issue (which seems to be going away) is that she hangs out with plenty of freshman guys daily. Sometimes she sees them alone for a bit although mostly she will go out with a group of them. She dresses somewhat provocatively and is flirtatious. I can tell other boys look at her and flirt with her. So far nothing has happened except one guy kissed her on the cheek when they hugged goodbye...she called me and was upset about it although now they're still 'friends'? The guy is not a threat to me, I know she won't like him that way, but I still dont know how to respond. She always asks if anything makes me uncomfortable and at first I suggested a few things that she could do differently if she wanted to consider me more. Now I have decided to let her do what she wants because I've told her once what makes me feel comfortable and what doesn't; she should know what she is doing in this regard or at least learn what she wants in life (she's 18 not 8 years old). I won't try to control her. If she wants it to work, she will let it work; if she shows me she doesn't want it to work through her actions, then she gets what she wants and so do I (a different relationship with a girl who knows what she wants and shares those desires with me). Basically, I understand she's a freshman and needs new friends; if she crosses the line I will leave but I will not constantly point out that boundary line. She will see that line for herself if she really wants to, otherwise she never really wanted to.

 

I know I'm rambling but I would really appreciate feedback on how I am handling this so far: how I should move forward, and any commentary, advice, predictions, or criticism on this situation in general.

[norajane]

Freshman in college...yeah, she's got a lot of learning and growing and developing to do at this stage of her life. She has a lot of experiences ahead of her, and a lot of frat parties to attend.

 

Keep your expectations low in terms of the long term success of this relationship. Investing in someone who is at this stage in her life would be foolish.

[creighton0123]

You should adjust your rules to discriminate: No dating undergrads. It isn't the age difference as much as it is the lifestyle difference.

 

My advice? Don't expect much. If you're patient enough to wait around, recognize that she is in a very dynamic place in her life and will often encounter experiences that put her in a compromising position. Because of this, you need to be very forgiving otherwise the two of you will be miserable.

 

I would end the relationship, suffer the pain from lost potential, and find someone who is in a similar place in their life as you are.

 

You, however, are not me. I would sooner rupture my eardrums with knitting needles than endure the excruciating ramblings of a drunken teenager on a regular basis.

[Paper Roses]

.

 

You, however, are not me. I would sooner rupture my eardrums with knitting needles than endure the excruciating ramblings of a drunken teenager on a regular basis.

 

 

hear, hear!!