Author PositiveNegative Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Argh! Guys, I contacted her again. I'm trying to make sure it was the last time. I sat on that text I got last morning for about 8 hours. I was driving me nuts. I caved and texted her back saying "Why are you not happy?" She responded "Because I hurt someone I care about so badly". I felt myself squirming as I pressed send. I guess I won't stop reaching for the fire until I get burned? I really didn't want to. I tried so hard no to. I know, I'm stupid. I'm human, and unfortunealy I still care about her... We ended up texting for a few hours. She called me her "best friend" and wished that we could still be friends, though she knew it wasn't likely. Even said "It kills me to think we will become strangers". It kills me too, but I cannot be a "friend" to her. I asked her how it would be if we were still friends. She said "We would be honest. Comfortable. And I would want you to know that I would do anything for you." It's just impossible that this would ever occur and I let her know it. I asked her "If I told you to not contact me again, would you still try and contact me someday?" and she responded "Yes, of course I would." She said she wished that we could take back all of the angry things that we had said to each other. She mentioned that she failed a exam already because all of her emotional stress and that she literally needed a 100 on the one today in order to pass the class. I ended up calling her again, I felt so disgusting even doing that. I asked when she saw her new guy yesterday if she felt guilty. She paused and said yes. I don't know why she admits these things to me. I don't know what I was trying to achieve from calling her. I eventually ended it by saying goodbye and quickly hanging up. It was a setback definitely, but I am so surprised about the amount of information that she tells me. I know she is trying to let go of the guilt, but even she sent me a text saying she feels even guilter and will not get off the hook easily. The amount of hurt that she describes makes me feel better I guess, I keep reminding myself that the ball is in my court. She called me after that nasty email that I was never going to respond to. Why would she even tell me that seeing her new man makes her guilty. I know for her this feeling will definitely pass, but I hope she always has pain knowing that she started a relationship with guilt in her heart. I do not think she will come back, I am not hoping for it. I just want her to know how wrong it was for her to do it, it seems that she gets it now. M2155, yeah, she is quite unequipped for this relationship. I can see it going either way though, she isn't the type to admit she's truly wrong. She will either fold to the emotional baggage or the relationship will take flight based on her, what seems to be, desperate need to be with this guy she just met. I walked past her today, she looked distraught, don't think she saw me though. I kept walking, I dread the day I actually she her with him though. Thanks again for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 DUDE!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! Leave her alone! She made the choice to dump you and if she jumped into a relationship in less than two weeks after our break up, then she was having feelings for this guy while you were in the relationship! She chose to have you out of her life and that's EXACTLY what you need to give her. You are never going to heal if you keep contact with her. Look, I know it's a knee jerk reaction to pick up the phone when you see it's her calling. Get some will power and let it go to voicemail. Then post here! Don't call her back! Look, I'm speculating that you feel like hell the majority of the time when you get off the phone with her. It's because your putting yourself back to square one!! Just convince yourself that the next time you see a text or the next time the phone rings or the next time you get an e-mail. Picture her just getting out of bed with this guy to text you, call you or write you. (to be honest, she probably did). okay, you want her to feel guilty? Don't respond then. She'll drive herself crazy thinking about what's going through your head. For whatever reason, the majority of women can't stand the fact that there might be a guy out in the world that hates their guts. Drives them nuts. That's why she wants to be friends, so she can convince herself that she made the right choice of dumping your ass and look! We are still such "good friends" we just weren't meant to be. Did you ever think that she might be telling you what you WANT to here so she can calm you down and try to steer you into the "friend zone"....i.e. Yes, I've kissed him, BUT YOUR BETTER....Do you feel gulit being with this guy? YES.... You need to go complete NC. Peroid. You need to let her go and start your own healing. If she made a mistake, that's a mistake she has to live with. Because you don't have to. Your relationship is over, time to start the healing process and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diogenes Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 That was good and so true. The part about when they are done with you they are done with you,,,, well,,,,, what about us suffering from an ex. going back to an ex when they are the ones who brokeup with them? Apparently they weren't done? Like I said earlier, they don't even know why they did what they did and use the X they dumped as a safety net. We take them back because we are needy, lack confidence, and don't want to accept the truth ;~). In reality whay would we want to take them back after being cheated on? the trust would be gone. Link to post Share on other sites
redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 DUDE!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! okay, you want her to feel guilty? Don't respond then. She'll drive herself crazy thinking about what's going through your head. For whatever reason, the majority of women can't stand the fact that there might be a guy out in the world that hates their guts. Drives them nuts. Is the above really true? Link to post Share on other sites
Author PositiveNegative Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 okay, you want her to feel guilty? Don't respond then. She'll drive herself crazy thinking about what's going through your head. For whatever reason, the majority of women can't stand the fact that there might be a guy out in the world that hates their guts. Drives them nuts. That's why she wants to be friends, so she can convince herself that she made the right choice of dumping your ass and look! We are still such "good friends" we just weren't meant to be. Did you ever think that she might be telling you what you WANT to here so she can calm you down and try to steer you into the "friend zone"....i.e. Yes, I've kissed him, BUT YOUR BETTER....Do you feel gulit being with this guy? YES.... Thanks man. That's why I posted that I did it. I could have easily just not told you guys but I need to feel like an idiot because I do for having talked to her. I felt sick when I texted her last night, man, I wish someone was there to stop me. God damn, yeah I just need to keep telling myself that if she ever contacts me it is probably after having kissed him and not giving a **** about me. I will go NC from now on, gonna be strong like I know I should've. Dammit, I wish I didn't answer that call, but what's done is done. Those good memories are of a different person and I know that she isn't that person now. I just gotta look at her in that manner, that the girl I did love died when she left. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PositiveNegative Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Is the above really true? I believe there is a lot of validity in that statement. My ex called me after sending that nasty email because she couldn't stand the fact that I would hate her afterwards. I do hate her now, and I absolutely do not even want to smile at her if I ever see her. Even she said she was sad because she knew that I hated her now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Is the above really true? Personal experience tells me it's true. Every relationship I got dumped in they desperately want to be "friends". Link to post Share on other sites
redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Personal experience tells me it's true. Every relationship I got dumped in they desperately want to be "friends". Yes, so they can feel less guilty and move on in life. Sorry, but I have no desire to be friends, I would not even reply to such a request. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Yes, so they can feel less guilty and move on in life. Sorry, but I have no desire to be friends, I would not even reply to such a request. Nor did I. I'm not friends with any of my Ex's. But they've all made the attempt. I don't get why they all say, "I hope we can still be friends." after they drop the nuke on you. I SO wanted to say, " Hell yeah! Let's be friends! Jump in the car with me and will go to the club and try to pick up chicks! That's what I like to do with my friends!" It's just stupid...and a way to ease their guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PositiveNegative Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 Exactly. She told me that if we could still be friends that we would be able to "Talk still. Be comfortable. Honest. I would still do anything for you." Anything? Right, because that would be fulfilling to me. To spend my time with the girl I used to love and the dude who is ****ing her. It would be an extremely sad existence if I ever let myself do that. How is this mindset of "being friends" so widespread!? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I'm still waiting on my ex to call and ask if we can be friends.Ha. When my ex dumped me I don't remember if she asked that or if I told her: There is no way we can be friends after sleeping together, me being in love with you etc. and now know your sleeping with you ex. Forget it! Still wonder if down the road she'll try? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I'm still waiting on my ex to call and ask if we can be friends.Ha. When my ex dumped me I don't remember if she asked that or if I told her: There is no way we can be friends after sleeping together, me being in love with you etc. and now know your sleeping with you ex. Forget it! Still wonder if down the road she'll try? LOL! well, if you told her, I doubt she would have any reason to ask. Chances are when she's done messin with her Ex and she reflects back on what she did. She'll probably reach out to you. Believe it or not, a long time after the break up, they keep tabs on you and you don't even know it. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 LOL! well, if you told her, I doubt she would have any reason to ask. Chances are when she's done messin with her Ex and she reflects back on what she did. She'll probably reach out to you. Believe it or not, a long time after the break up, they keep tabs on you and you don't even know it. Thanks for the response. I seriously doubt she make any attempt. Shes with the love of her life now,,I don't think I mattered. 3rd time back with him. Hummmmm maybe she will.ha. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Thanks for the response. I seriously doubt she make any attempt. Shes with the love of her life now,,I don't think I mattered. 3rd time back with him. Hummmmm maybe she will.ha. 3rd time? Oh yeah...they're gonna last. 10 bucks says they'll be broken up within 1.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
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