Can I be forgiven?

[brian_1138]

I'm not sure if I could be forgiven for what I have done. I am in the worst pain of my life at this moment. I was married for two years to someone I've known a long time (12 years). We were off and on for that time until finally we decided to get married. Something was always missing though. I always knew we were the best of friends but for some reason, I couldn't love her as much as she wanted me to. We started having troubles and I started to wonder off, falling even farther away from her. I was talking to someone at the time who was filling this empty spot. I ended up leaving my wife but not for another woman but to figure out what it was I was looking for. Turns out the more and more I spent time with this other woman, the more and more I started to fall in love. Everything is there and I've never been in love like this before. We have been together for close to 2 years but my wife and I aren't completely apart yet. We are still technically married even though we have separate lives now. My wife continued to fight for a while to get me back with no luck because I'm too caught up in this woman. She ended up giving up and seeking out a lawyer. All paperwork was in process and she asked if she could come down to visit me one last time just to say goodbye. Well these 2 years had been really hard on my new love knowing that there were still ties between me and my wife. Sometimes these ties came with a price as well. Do to some other circumstances my wife kind of had me in a rock and a hard place and I really couldn't be pushy and forward like I wanted to because she could turn around and have some serious consequences brought on me. So needless to say I had to be a coward and tuck my tail between my legs and take whatever she gives. All the while this is going on I've managed to keep my relationship with my girlfriend a secret from her. Well here is the unforgivable part. This last meeting was really a last attempt to fulfill my wife's sexual desire because she believed in not sleeping with anyone else until we were completely divorced... even though we've been apart for 2 years. Or this may have been another attempt to prove how sexual she could be and maybe get me back or maybe it was a set up because it turns out, she is now pregnant. I was so scared of her finding something out if I declined her proposal I went through with it. I seriously thought that if I just gave in, things would get rolling and all of this would be over. Afterwards I sat there in discust with myself and quiet while she sat there wondering why and getting the feeling that I wanted her gone. She finally left. The doctors said she was unable to get pregnant due to a number of surgeries conducted in order to remove cists on her ovaries. Sometimes as large as footballs. During the last surgery, they removed one ovary and left tiny fragments of the other. I have gone for several months now not saying a word to anybody including my girlfriend thinking that somehow this would go away. Not that the baby would die or anything but something like I would find out she's lying or it's somebody elses or whatever. Well no. It's mine. Just the other night I get to the point where I'm fed up with the lies and being led around by my wife and everybody, and I decide to tell her about my girlfriend. Then that led to me having to tell my girlfriend. Now my girlfriend is gone and I am in really bad shape. I love her so much. She believes that if I did it once I'll do it again like most women would believe but I'm not like that. I love her more than anything. I want her back so bad but this is completely unforgivable. I am a coward and a pussy for doing what I did. But now I am starting from scratch. No more lies. No more hiding from my family thinking they will be dissappointed in me. I LOVE THIS WOMAN so much and I need to get her back. Please someone help me and give some light. Do I have a chance in hell? This was the absolute worse thing I could have done to her but I will spend the rest of my life trying to fix it if I knew that there was some hope that she could ever forgive me. Sorry this is so long everybody.

[Pyrannaste]

You might have a chance...because many women are crazy and sometimes they forgive the unforgivable. If I were your girlfriend I'd run like hell.

Who wants a man that got his ex wife pregnant while in the relationship?

 

I'm extremely sorry for your wife. In my opinion it is towards her you acted worse.