How can I persuade her to come back to me?

[SC]

I've already posted a topic on the breaking up part, but i suppose it realtes to this forum also. I definately want to get back together with my girlfriend, we only broke up on Monday but I can't stop thinking about her. I've had really negative advice off my friends, that I should let her go, but because of the way we broke up, which was 'I still care for you, I just don't know if I love you anymore' I feel that this is the ideal opportunity to win her heart again. She stopped loving me because I became really negative after a bad patch, I fell out with my parents because of a job I wanted, which I got, and also my Final Year Dissertation has been due in, which weighed a big part on my mind. I had also felt like I'd been drifting, but since I met Rachel I have started to want for things, and have ambition. Although she is pleased for this she feels I have changed, and she doesn't know if she loves the person I have changed into. I don't feel that I have changed, although I definately am more ambitious. She is going to Durham in October, and I am really going to miss her, but I think the thing that has really put her off is that I want to go to Durham also to do a 1 year post grad course, okay partly because of her, but also because the uni I'm at now isn't very good, it's ranked 86th in the country and i want somewhere better. Just the inital frustration of realising I'd been drifting, then not spending much time with her, and also the fact it was Easter so everyone had gopne home and i felt really alone, she feels ive changed because of this.

 

I feel that because of our work and commitments we haven't been able to spend very much time with each other. So for her to say that over 3 weeks she has changed her mind and she feels that everytime we see each other she doesn't really love me much, she hasn't given me a lot of time to show her the person that she used to love. I want a second chance with her so that I can show her who I trulely am, then she can decide properly if she loves me again, because I feel she rushed the decision without spending much time with me.

 

But how do I go about persuading her? I know I can't make her love me, as it takes 2 to tango. But do I show that I'm positive, and that the brak up hasn't really bothered me that much, and that I can be the fun loving person that she loves, or do I plead to her heart and tell her how much it hurts me that we haven't had much time, and that I really want to have her heart again just so that I can be myself again. I've finished my dissertation now so there isnt as much pressure on me, so she can now see what I'm really like. I wish to balance the two thoughts of being positive and fun loving, and reaching or pleading to her heart. I want to see ehr tomorrow, but it may be too soon, but we work with each other on weekends so maybe that may be the time, ob not in work, but to arrange a meet up. Please, I'm all ears, as long as they are messages of hope.

[lost_in_chgo]

No contact.

 

Act like you don't care.

 

Read this thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t35003/?highlight=lost+guide

[supermom]

The attitude that makes you most attractive is the positive one. If you are ever around her, don't boo hoo about the breakup or act depressed, just smile and talk like every thing is great in your life.

 

She will see the positive side of you, and not the negative.

 

Just a thought

[SC]

Last night Ifelt happy, like I was mayself again. I know for a fact though that this is not because my girlfriend split up with me, well it is, butnot for that fact that I'm on my own now I'm happy, that's not the case. I feel now I've been able to think rationally, think exactly why things started to go down the pan, and one word just comes out of it all, negativity. I felt positive, okay, I'm still worried over my work because I have a 2,500 assignment due in onMonday and I havent done much, because I keep getting distracted by this. This sounds wierd also, but when it was confirmed last night that Liverpool had made it to the Chapions League qualifiers last night I was like 'WOW! FANTASTIC!!!. THen I stopped and realised I haven't felt that good in a long long time. This is is the hard bit now, I want to show that to my ex before that feeling disappears. I want to follow the guide of the 'no contact' thing, but I'm really desperate to talk to her again. I've wrote her a text but I've not sent it yet and I was thinking of doing it around lunchtime today. We only split up on Monday, but this new feeling has made me feel fresh, and I seriously want to portray that to Rachel. Mayb today is still too soon, but I don't know how long to leave it. I have to see her at the weekend anyway because we both work with each other, but Ijust want to say something to her then to pursuade her to talk to me. Okay I made the fatal mistake of sending her quite a few texts on the Monday night saying I want to get back with her, then another on tuesday asking if she still wanted to meet up on thurs (2nite). I've had no reply sincemon night when she said' dont do this, i dont want to upset u anymore than u appear to be', to which I replied that I feel I must beause of the way we split, and I have to try, even in vain. I definately have to try, but I don't know how long to give it. I feel I have to tell her now, but something inside of me tells me I shouldn't incase it f...'s up again. Any advice?

[SC]

Sorry, me again, I even know exactly what I want to say to her. They are the reasons why I feel I should be given a second chance. I don't want to force her, I only want her to think about it again, and give her reasons why she should. At the time I did feel under a lot of emotional stress, fighting with parents, then work pressure, then we started having a few arguments everytime we saw each other, one big one. I regret them as I don't feel I helped with the negativity, but thats all I could feel at the time. Thats why she felt pushed away and she stopped loving me. I suppose the break up has helped me clear my mind, already after only 3 days. I know again that I should leae her for a bit, but I feel like this is something I urgently need to tell her, so we can make a fresh start. The delay of talking to her is bugging me so badly and I need logical and sound advice on what to do next. I already know more or less what I want to say, even where I want to say it (in a churchyard in Stafford town, St' Mary's if you know it), but I feel now if I have to give it time, then it shouldn't be for too long. Even if I text her today saying I would like to talk to u at some point next week. Seriously, what do you think considering what I have said there?