How should I tell her?

[Justin]

Greetings all, Im relatively new to this forum, infact this is my first post. Ill begin with a little background information in order to establish the context of my situation. I recently began my freshman year of collage. Three weeks agao I met a wonderful ladie in one of my lectures, we began talking and seemed to hit it off real well. Ive gone out with her about six times (She is taking a ton of classes so she doesnt have much time to do things with the exception of the week ends). I absolutely adore her, everything I have ever looked for in a prospective companion is there, and then some. She has literally changed my life, enlightening me and pointing me down the path to becomming an feminist. So far our relationship could be classified as a friendship. My problem is that I realy like her, I can't stress that enough. As I learn more and more about her my intrest grows stronger and stronger. I can't for the life of me figure out how to tell her about my fealings. I want to let her know but fear that in doing so I may alienate her, atleast in the case that she doesn't have mutual fealings towards me. In the past I havn't had a problem with letting girls know that I like them. I thought that my actions had made it clear that I am intrested in her, yet she hasn't shown any signs that would indicate that. I am not certian how she feals about me, perhaps this is my greatest problem. At times it apears that she is intrested, yet at times it would apear otherwise. I can't think of a way to let her know, there are just so many possible outcomes. Uppon letting her know she could be cought by suprize and distance herself, she could ignore it, she could tell me that she would prefer the exclusive company of others, or she could embrace it. I can not think of any other time in wich I have been so reluctant to open myself up to a person. I came to collage with three goals, the first is to develop the skills that I will need to live a prosperous life, the second is to find my companion, and the third is to become a beter person. Normaly I would not wory so much and just dive in hoping for the best, yet in this case I have everything to loose. She has so many great qualities that both compliment and embrace my own. She is inteligent, comited, brave, compasionate, strong, and beutiful (both physically and intellectually). If any one has any advice on how to let her know please share it with me. right now my intention is to ask her waht she is looking for in a man and then hope that she will reciprically ask me so that I cna describe her and then finish by telling her just how I feal. Do you think that that would be to blunt?

[Tony T]

First of all, Justin, I think she would love you until the end of time if you could break your literary submissions into neat little paragraphs for easy reading.

 

You have known this girl for three weeks or so and you have gone out with her six times. That's good. The fact that she's taking a heavy load and doesn't have much time indicates she is a serious student and is not out for an Mrs. degree.

 

I think you should continue to ask her out, go out with her, and have a great time. Let her know it means a lot to you when you are with her...but don't say more than that.

 

If things keep going good like they are, perhaps in November or so you could let her know you are very fond of her and honored to spend time with her. See what her reaction is.

 

I just have this feeling that you will get the high sign when she is ready for something more than you have with her right now. You can got out with her, have fun, and do whatever without being an item. I just think she is the type of girl that would respond more to a challenge than to someone who just fell for her right off the bat. Most very studious girls are like that.

 

Continue to be cool and you will drive her nuts. She will probably ask you if you want more out of the relationship.

 

Also, I am certain that if you tell her you are very fond of her in a cool way, she will not back off the friendship. She is way too intelligent and classy for that. She is a very unique lady. So, if you must let her know, wait a few more weeks...and be sure to be cool about it.

 

I just have a pretty good feeling that whatever you say or do here, this lady is quite OK with it. She is pretty open minded. Don't mean to be playing psychic here...but that's what I think. Let me know how I did.

 

P.S. Ask her to campus theatre and music events. She especially loves stuff like that.

[Jenna]

Justin,

 

Three weeks isn't a very long time- not to say that you don't already know exactly how you feel- I'm sure you do- but relax and enjoy this time. I was telling someone yesterday that this is the most exciting part of the relationship- the butterflies-the day dreams- the anticipation of what's to come. Cherish it for just a little while longer.

 

Wouldn't it be the coolest thing in the world- if you waited and then "she" was the one to let "you" know that she was head over heels!! I bet that would happen- so would you rather her "respond" to the subject or be the one to "initiate" it??

 

If she has agreed to 6 dates with you- she is into this too. Smart girls don't waste their time on things that aren't going anywhere- give her some credit. And give yourself some credit- don't automatically think that she would run away screaming like her hair was on fire- upon finding out your true feelings. (Wanna know a secret?? She probably already knows- you said she was pretty bright right? Women have the ability to read these situations-and quite well I might add)

 

Good Luck- Jenna

First of all, Justin, I think she would love you until the end of time if you could break your literary submissions into neat little paragraphs for easy reading. You have known this girl for three weeks or so and you have gone out with her six times. That's good. The fact that she's taking a heavy load and doesn't have much time indicates she is a serious student and is not out for an Mrs. degree. I think you should continue to ask her out, go out with her, and have a great time. Let her know it means a lot to you when you are with her...but don't say more than that. If things keep going good like they are, perhaps in November or so you could let her know you are very fond of her and honored to spend time with her. See what her reaction is. I just have this feeling that you will get the high sign when she is ready for something more than you have with her right now. You can got out with her, have fun, and do whatever without being an item. I just think she is the type of girl that would respond more to a challenge than to someone who just fell for her right off the bat. Most very studious girls are like that. Continue to be cool and you will drive her nuts. She will probably ask you if you want more out of the relationship. Also, I am certain that if you tell her you are very fond of her in a cool way, she will not back off the friendship. She is way too intelligent and classy for that. She is a very unique lady. So, if you must let her know, wait a few more weeks...and be sure to be cool about it. I just have a pretty good feeling that whatever you say or do here, this lady is quite OK with it. She is pretty open minded. Don't mean to be playing psychic here...but that's what I think. Let me know how I did. P.S. Ask her to campus theatre and music events. She especially loves stuff like that.