CarL99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Ok here is my problem I dont know if Im wrong or right or what.. Well my gf has been always giving me headache about this stuff. In the beginning first week we had our relationship she asked me if she could go out with a guy that was courting her at the same time I was courting her.. I said NO, you can not go..then she was begging me to let her go. Ok I said go and she went with that guy like a date, but I told her "I will give you a call to your cell phone that time"..well I called her and she never answered after about one hour, she said it was on silent mode...Ok I forgave her for that, but we had some discussion.. Second time I knew she liked a guy at our place of work before, but she never talked to that guy before...One day for one reason or other because of job things they talked, and she told him that she liked him before but that her bf was jealous about that..I asked her why she told him that, because it sounded like she is telling him right away that she liked him..she told me it was just to make conversation, plus she said it was before she didnt like him anymore.....Ok I let it go, but we had some discussion about that..... Well then this guy from her country told her that he always liked her, but that he never told her about that, he just sent a message to friendster and chat to her about that...ok she told me and I thought it was not a big deal, it was nothing wrong with that... Now she is on vacations in her contry, and I called her last week and asked her what is new and what is happening in there, and first thing she told me "you know eric told me and talked to me about he likes me, and I told her I already have a BF, but she said he just wanted to let her know" bla bla...ok I let that one go and I didnt see any abnormal thing in that... THen last time we were chatting and I asked her if she is having fun in there..she told me "yes I am having fun with eric too..." and then she goes " JK JK".....I was mad because I feel first of all she likes that guy, or she is just trying to make me feel jealouys... Then yesterday we chat again, and I asked her "how are you" she said " im ok" and then she goes "I have lot of things to tell you about eric"...I said "like what?".she told me "because he told me that he likes me"....I was really mad and I told her to stop being like that, she just told me she just wanted to share what is happening to her..if she likes that guy I told her to go ahead and do whatever she wants to do...Now I am even making a decision in trusting her or not, or what to do...I feel I should let her go, but what do you think??? Sorry is too long, but thats the whole case.... Thank you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 By the way she is 21, and I am 23 years old... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 >>>Ok here is my problem I dont know if Im wrong or right or what.. <<< A little confused, I'd say. That's okay, I'll clear it up for ya. >>>Well my gf has been always giving me headache about this stuff. <<< She's not your girlfriend. Just because she says so doesn't mean it's so. The actions have to match the words. You're a couple in name only. She's out dating someone else while occasionally falling back on you. You're in her back pocket, which means you're probably no better than a meal ticket or someone to chit chat with when she's bored out of her frickin mind. >>>In the beginning first week we had our relationship she asked me if she could go out with a guy that was courting her at the same time I was courting her.. I said NO, you can not go..then she was begging me to let her go. Ok I said go and she went with that guy like a date, but I told her "I will give you a call to your cell phone that time"..well I called her and she never answered after about one hour, she said it was on silent mode...Ok I forgave her for that, but we had some discussion..<<< Oh lord... Here's a tip: if a girl is asking you to go hang out with a guy with whom she might have a romantic connection - in the first week no less - then maybe you should just say "Okay, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out" >>>Second time I knew she liked a guy at our place of work before, but she never talked to that guy before...One day for one reason or other because of job things they talked, and she told him that she liked him before but that her bf was jealous about that..I asked her why she told him that, because it sounded like she is telling him right away that she liked him..she told me it was just to make conversation, plus she said it was before she didnt like him anymore<<< I hate to be so cold, but your girlfriend thinks you're a wuss, an idiot or both. You've got to stand up and demand some respect, dude. And you're "discussions" are obviously not working. >>>.....Ok I let it go, but we had some discussion about that..... Well then this guy from her country told her that he always liked her, but that he never told her about that, he just sent a message to friendster and chat to her about that...ok she told me and I thought it was not a big deal, it was nothing wrong with that...<<< Exactly when are you going to get a backbone. You've got a sign on you that says "doormat." Mmmm...do I smell a troll??? >>>Then yesterday we chat again, and I asked her "how are you" she said " im ok" and then she goes "I have lot of things to tell you about eric"...I said "like what?".she told me "because he told me that he likes me"....I was really mad and I told her to stop being like that, she just told me she just wanted to share what is happening to her..if she likes that guy I told her to go ahead and do whatever she wants to do...Now I am even making a decision in trusting her or not, or what to do...I feel I should let her go, but what do you think??? <<< I think you should let her go. And next time, drop her the first time she starts acting goofy like this. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Let her go. She's playing silly childish games with you. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 let her go, easy enough Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I know that is what I have been thinking..I mean we go out at least everyday for a coffee or lunch, then she calls me on the phone like 3 times a day, or I call her, but this things happening so often I feel uncomfortable and I already talked to her about that, and she keeps doing it and doing it...last time I even yelled at her on the phone, but it seems she is not mature enought to handle the relationship...We have been "together" for about 4 months Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 She's playing you, but good. Never let someone do that to you - not even once. I know it's tough because when you're young and inexperienced in the dating game you want things to go well so bad that you mistake the signs. You assume that because she talks to you and has lunch with you that she is your girlfriend, but she's not. She's just a girl you date and spend time with, but not your girlfriend. She's trying to push your buttons because she suspected that you'd take her crap. Master manipulators can smell prey, and she smelled you a mile away. You should end it and be done with it, and don't take her back. You will have the confidence of knowing that you stood up to her, and then you will move on to someone else who respects you more. And as an aside, never yell or get overly emotional with a woman. Manipulators live for that, because she knows she's getting into you. That's her cue that lets her know her tricks are working. It's when you're silent and indifferent and simply walk away...that's what she would dread the most. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 It most definitely seems like she is not mature enough to handle a relationship. When I read your post I thought that it sounded like the silly boyfriend/girlfriend games kids used to play in 6th grade. Now the question is, are you mature enough to end it? Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I am, but I was not sure if I was going to do the right thing or what... Sometimes she gives me really good signs and details and that is what confuses me, but sometimes this things happening make my mind go to a different direction.. Thats why I was not sure what to do..I just wanted to feel more confident about my decision, because I really loved her, but at the same time I don't want to face this things anymore, I already gave her enough opportunities to change... So I think I will end it even if she says no. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I don't like this girl one bit. In the very best case she is childish, immature, selfish and does not respect your feelings. In the worst one she has a great potential for being a cheater. Perhaps she acts this way only because she is insecure and needs tons of attention. Perhaps she is plain selfish and does not give a damn about how you feel. perhaps she is just stupid. Do yourself a favour and dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 That is what I am planning to do. I will dum her, but I think I will wait until she comes back from her country... I really loved her, but I think I have to love myself too and bring the best for me..but I was not sure if I was going to make the right decision about this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 and yes I know she could be a cheater, she is not giving me enough resources to trust her..Sometimes she gives me really good details that show like she really loves me, but at the end she destroy everything with this things. At first I thought she was just being open to me about telling me her stuff, but yesterday I felt like she is having as a priority if a guy likes her or not.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t38809/ Link to post Share on other sites
Carl99 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Thank you amerikajin and Bluechocolate for your help and advice...now I feel more confident about my decision Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 >>>Thank you amerikajin <<< Anytime, pal. Remember, it's not only about trust, it's about respect. If you don't respect yourself enough, she won't respect you either and she'll exploit that to her advantage. You're probably not the first guy she's done this to, and you're probably not the last, either. Whatever, it's time for you to get off this train and find someone who will be a better companion. Just remember: don't take any s*** from anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
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