confusedandupset Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 And you should be too. This heartbreak stuff is hard, harder than many of us will face in our lives, but that doesn't mean that it's the end. I've gone through terrible break ups, and I am still here, which is a surprise enough. It reminds me just how much strength I have. I walk with my head held high because I know I am a strong person, and I won't be taken down by someone who, albeit played a large role in my life, has not taken my life from me. I know it is hard for many of you, it's hard for me. Some days I just don't want to do anything but cry about the injustice that I am having to face, but I refuse to let it consume my life. I just can't wait to see how far I'll be in a month, two months, six months, because I have to look forward to a bigger and brighter tomorrow, and all of you should too. If they can make a pill to help a man get it up, they'll eventually make a pill to mend a broken heart. Until then you will always have yourself, your family, your friends, and your future. Link to post Share on other sites
1Dunno Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Good thread confusedandupset. It's great to hear that you're proud of yourself. I too am proud of you, and proud of myself. It's easy to dwell on all the "mistakes" that I think I made after the breakup, even though they were probably nothing. But you know what? It changes absolutely nothing. Even if I had played it out a bit differently, it wouldn't have changed a damn thing, she wouldn't have wanted me back. And if she did I probably would have fallen for it, when in actual fact we're not right for each other, and would have ended in heartbreak all over again. I've stopped wondering how long before I'll be completely "over" her, and am starting to accept that I have to take one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff2321 Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I am proud of both of you and of myself as well. I am proud of myself and feel that I've turned a corner with keeping my self respect. I have resisted breaking NC with my ex after she sent me an email 14 months after she kicked me to the curb. It's funny how just over a year ago people were saying that by the time your ex contacts you, you won't even want them back... well it's true... she hurt me so bad that I don't want her back now... not in any capacity because I can't trust her not to leave again. I want to start fresh and meet a new woman with a clean slate and not dig up old dirt that I have been trying to get over for a year. I'd rather be alone than with her at this point -- it's amazing I'm even saying it. 1Dunno, I thought my ex was married up until 4 days ago. I thought my ex would never contact me again, but she did. It will probably happen to you too. Be prepared for when that day comes. Let's be proud of ourselves for staying strong and moving on with our lives. Jeff Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedandupset Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 1dunno: It is always vital to take one step at a time when recovering from anything. My ex and I broke up once before and a good friend of mind told me that time heals all, and I should have listened to him instead of falling for this loop again. But we can't let our "mistakes" hold us down, because like you said it changes absolutely nothing. Sometimes our SO's come down from their cloud of control and realize how much hurt they've created, and sometimes they are too frugal to think of things in that manner. But, that should never help us keep truckin' jeff2321: Wow, 14 mths later? My ex ex, contacted me about a year and a half after he dropped me with not even a goodbye, he was in the process of getting married. He is now writing to me telling me how his wife has cheated on him, get this, 3 times, and is apparently in the process of doing it again. It was quite amusing, especially when he told me that he wouldn't leave her for me, which was just so amusingly out of the blue I couldn't stop laughing. My recent ex has never contacted me, and now he's off living his fantasies with the girl he compromised our relationship for, not once but twice. Am I upset? NOPE. I sure do hope he gets what he wanted, cause the grass is greener on the other side until you run into raccoons, pesticides, and lawnmowers, then it's just too dangerous to trespass. Let's rejoice in our moving forward, and on with our lives :] Link to post Share on other sites
sleepykitten Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Great post-I am proud of me and you guys too, this forum has become such an amazing support system for me I check in everyday and its helped more than i can say. I am 19 days nc, give or take one either side (amazing i dont actually know) never got past 14 days before. had a text last week and didnt reply, never done that before, but realised that to move on properly I need total nc, and that means letting go of any hope that he will one day find his heart and balls to apologise for the hurt he caused as I know he never will and I no longer need that from him. Link to post Share on other sites
TLCbear Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I am proud of anyone and everyone who have had the strength to try their best in keeping NC and moving on, because we all know how hard it is. So far, I've been 37 days NC, even after recieving 2 letters and about 8 calls from him. I still had hope in my heart about him contacting me, but never knew exactly what I would do if he did. So far, so good, NC. Since this is the second time I broken up with him, I now know what to expect as far as my emotions go...and just basically learned to take it one day at a time. As longs as I know I can get through another day without contacting him, I'm doing good. Good luck to all of you!!! **And just so you know, not all dumpers are the bad ones.** Link to post Share on other sites
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