minignaz Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Hi, Im new here, so forgive me if this is in the wrong place. Anyway I've been going with this girl for nearly 3 years, were engaged and have had alot of good times and bad times. I need advice on what to do now. For a few weeks now she hasnt talked to me about anything, anytime I phone her she just tells me that she is busy or cant be bothered right now, or the classic I'm too tired. Additional to this she got a guys phone number a few months back on a work night out, she has changed her story about how she got the number twice, first she said it was a cousin of a work mate then it became a wrong number she typed in. I let that slide, but it ate at me that she hid this person completely from me for a long time, I only found out by accident, if she got a message or a call it instantly turned into someone else. That really bugs me and I keep feeling that she is cheating on me with this guy, shes done it before and all the signs are there, the lack of communication, the misterious phone calls and people appearing from now where. Im getting really worried as I absolutely addore and love her, and I couldnt bear to loose her. The advice I'm needing is what would anyone here do in this situation, cut and run, let it lie????? Anyone, I realy am worried, and cant really get to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
DonTomaso Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 You may have posted that in the wrong place... perhaps your post should be under the "Breaking Up" heading. Sorry of that sounds harsh, but you need to have a serious conversation with her if she is blowing you off like that. You may not like what you hear, but it is probably better than waiting for her attitude to change. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 It sounds like she is cheating (perhaps only emotionally and not physically, but it's bad anyway), but she might not. Or not yet. I saw many girls and guys do that, it even happened to me once long time ago. They are in a good relationship, they feel in love, they are being very serious about it, and then -WHAM! It can just happen, or it can be triggered by something..... they suddenly feel tired, they get annoyed when their partner talks to them, is with them, calls them. They don't feel like having sex. they notice how some other guy/girl can be charming, they start getting emotionally involved with someone else... or only to fantasize about someone else, or they flirt with someone else. Often they would not cheat. They would at times feel like: "no, the person i am with is not the one that I want to spend my life with". I'm sure you know at least a person that once felt this way towards his or her partner. Could this be your girlfriend's case? Good news is that often the person that has been experiencing these feeling will come back to her mind, wonder "what the heck were I doing", get back in love with his/her partner and be glad he/she did not do anything stupid. You can either confront her or hope that she will stop acting like this and realize/decide it is you she wants to stay with and you are really the right person. I anyway second DonTomaso's advice, and suggest to have a serious conversation with her. Let her know you love her. Let her know you'd like to make her happy. Let her know you would not like to lose her, but you are willing to break up if she is sure/feels you are not the person she can be happy with. Ask her if there is anything you did wrong that could have made her get distant. (sometimes people do without meaning it things that will hurt their partner a lot) This, if she has not been cheating on you. Or if she has and she is sorry about that and you could ever forgive her. Putting some serious effort in keeping her and making her happy and make the relationship work has some sense only if she is willing to put effort in it too. I hope she has not been cheating on you, and that things will be okay between you. Please post again and give some update. Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Age please... Link to post Share on other sites
Author minignaz Posted May 13, 2004 Author Share Posted May 13, 2004 were both pushing 21, very close to it, high school sweety hearts you know the thing. I agree about talking to her, was going to go round to her bit abd do that tonuight anyway, but hearing other people suggest it just makes it feel right. Sorry for posting in the wrong place. Will let you all know I upopse. Thanks for the help Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 I know you have heard this before.... but you are both still "babies" Please take your time getting married..... I was married for 5 years and it ended in divorce...... I must say that the divorce is one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with.... (I thought the marriage would be forever) Link to post Share on other sites
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