redwhiteandgreen Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 My BF and I work together and are very much out as a couple. We attend work events together, hold hands, attentive to each other, etc. We are madly in love and we don't hide it, our co-workers have been great about respecting our relationship except one new one... But I am posting here for advice because I don't know if it's just me being possessive, overly vigilant, paranoid or if she actually is over-stepping her boundaries... Here are the three incidents thus far: (1) At a beginning of year event 2 weeks ago she walked up to both of us but only introduced herself to my BF, not to me. She started chatting him up until he interrupted and turned to me to introduce me. She acknowledged me and continued making conversation with him. (2) At a work evening event 1 week ago she walked up to us, didn't acknowledge me again, and said to my BF that she was going to email him for a recommendation for a personal trainer (my BF trains) as she is looking for a trainer. She put her arm around him, laughed about being behind on her training, and patted him in the shoulder as she walked away. No hello or goodbye to me, I was right there. We were holding hands. (3) She emailed him very late that same night for the recommendation. It was a "chatty" email in that she was also making conversation. My BF responded with the reference and that was it. I trust him 100% - but I don't want this woman thinking she now has a new buddy (my BF) without making an attempt to even talk to me. She just started working with us and we do have a friend in common who I am tempted to call and inquire about who this new girl is and what she's all about. I do know she' single and looking. So... THOUGHTS?????? ADVICE???????? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 So... THOUGHTS?????? ADVICE???????? Request your BF's assistance. You are a team. Ask him what his perception of the interactions were/are? Share yours. Find a mutually agreeable solution and execute it as a team. Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwhiteandgreen Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 I did bring it up to him and he said it was hard to tell but he also said that he would make sure to CC me in his response if she writes him again and find a way to bring me into the conversation (i.e., my GF also has a trainer, I am cc'ing her so she can reply and send you his name)... Just so she sees that we are transparent with each other and (possibly) on to her. I also will email her and invite her to lunch as I do with ALL new folks, so this wouldn't be any different. If she needs clarification about my BF and I, I'll be sure to provide it over lunch :-) Link to post Share on other sites
bikinibeach Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 what a rude bitch!! i would feel SO uncomfortable talking to someone the way you described, EVEN IF i wasn't interested in him. that is just awkward, rude and in this case, transparent. this post just raised my blood pressure!! but it sounds like you and your boyfriend are handling this the right way- i like his suggestion. girls like this get off on knowing they are causing you stress. dont let that happen and ddont let uneccesary stress affect your relationship. before she has a chance to get any chummier, let your bf know that you would prefer he avoid her and that if you were in a sitation where a guy completely ignored your bf and wanted to "befriend" you, you would do the same. sorry this happened to you. it could happen to anyone. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Voldar Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I did bring it up to him and he said it was hard to tell but he also said that he would make sure to CC me in his response if she writes him again and find a way to bring me into the conversation (i.e., my GF also has a trainer, I am cc'ing her so she can reply and send you his name)... Just so she sees that we are transparent with each other and (possibly) on to her. I also will email her and invite her to lunch as I do with ALL new folks, so this wouldn't be any different. If she needs clarification about my BF and I, I'll be sure to provide it over lunch :-) You could always have him Blind Carbon Copy (Bcc) you, so you don't have to try to make an excuse and can still see the emails back and forth. But him putting you forth, as a Cc, may help in showing her that you are together as well. Link to post Share on other sites
BeyondtheClouds Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I would suggest that your bf cc you in the e-mail (not bc you) and also not give a reason for doing so. Why should either of you care about her feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
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