Your view on male virginity vs male use of prostitution

[Mangomonkey]

Its two seperate themes i see alot here on LS. Men who are virgins are often shunned. However men who use prostitutes not so much. Where im from thats extremely backwards. I personally could not bring myself to prostitution. Ever. Even on the slowest months i could never do it. Its just too shameful for me.

 

Male virginity on the other hand can be admirable. As long as the person isnt someone who complains about it. And most men who aren't most like screwed women below their standards. So. Whats your thoughts on this?

[FitChick]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

[Josephina]

Prostitution: after volunteering with some inner city charities, I think there is a lot of harm in using a prostitute. Often these women, and men, are in low socioeconomic classes, and can be dealing with mental/emotional/addiction problems. As for as how I view a man who uses a prostitute, I don't really understand it, but I'm not really familiar with people who do (or that I know of). I don't want to judge harshly, but I certainly don't think highly of it.

 

 

Virgin: definitely admirable, although, not the type of relationship I would seek out, yet wouldn't shun it. Being that my sexual experience is greater than one, and even a few more beyond that , I might personally find it uncomfortable.

[Mangomonkey]

The thing with prostitution is that many men from all circles of life pertain in it. Anywhere from jobless men to doctors and lawyers. My thing is why is that more okay than being a a virgin or just not getting any for a long time?

 

And as for virginity well i cant blame how you feel about that. But what i notice is that when it comes to women. If they like the person enough. Most other qualities they will overlook. that includes virginity. Others might be looks and weight. I cant tell you how many ugly dudes i know get the sexiest girlfriends. but that is a different subject

[somedude81]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

I really really wished that things worked that way. But no they don't.

 

Emotional connection without trying to get laid = sexless buddy. I've been there many many times.

 

Male virginity on the other hand can be admirable. As long as the person isnt someone who complains about it. And most men who aren't most like screwed women below their standards. So. Whats your thoughts on this?

How is being a male virgin 25+ admirable when the only reason the dude is a virgin because he can't get a woman?

 

It's only admirable if he chose to stay a virgin. A guy who is trying to lose it and managed to get past 25 without doing so is a failure.

 

As for prostitutes, it really depends on the reasons for doing so.

 

Yeah a man who can only get laid by seeing hookers is a loser. But can you really blame him for needing to get his needs met?

[oaks]

Whats your thoughts on this?

 

I think these are separate enough to have separate threads because they are separate topics, unless you're suggesting that one is a problem for which the other is a solution (neither of which I agree with, in general).

[Mangomonkey]

somedude- i guess i should made it a little bit more clear. I mean guys who are virgins by choice. Im not that great of a follower of the humans are only animals trend. I believe what define us is our choices that we make. I know a guy who refuses to kiss a girl until he is married. and it is his choice. Me personally. When i went for the purely physical approach first. All it gave me was a few stalkers and many angry and bitter women. Its one of the reasons why i dont like rushing it so you gotta find a balance somewhere.

 

oaks- yea these two are seperate topics and im not gonna say one is a solution toward the other. Im just making observations on two seperate things between what i thought was acceptable vs what actually is acceptable. I would have thought prostitution wouldnt be acceptable to women. Even to some men. but im wrong on that.

 

I just wanna hear everyone's opinion on that. since i see it pop up alot.

 

I just like to add that maybe my post is a bit flawed. because i dont pay attention to who is posting on other threads about this stuff. Which can be a major factor. Since im basing this thread on what i read in others

Edited September 25, 2011 by Mangomonkey

[somedude81]

As I see it, prostitution for any reason is a dealbreaker for most women.

 

That's why it's just better for a man to never admit it to a woman. It's one of those things that no good will come out of telling the truth.

[Jynxx]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

 

This is wrong on so many levels.

 

 

Yeah a man who can only get laid by seeing hookers is a loser. But can you really blame him for needing to get his needs met?

I dislike the term "loser". I got a friend who's 25 and still a virgin. He's a cool guy, just wasn't popular in highschool, studied computer science in uni and is now working in an IT firm, so his life path played a big part in him not getting laid. I wouldn't describe him as a loser, he's a normal guy who just hasn't figured that part of life out yet.

[AHardDaysNight]

I've often wondered why it's the smartest guys who are always alone? Maybe something to think about.

[oaks]

I've often wondered why it's the smartest guys who are always alone? Maybe something to think about.

 

I thought about it for a few seconds and decided that it's untrue.

[AHardDaysNight]

I thought about it for a few seconds and decided that it's untrue.

 

If someone works in IT and is a computer major, or an engineer, they are pretty smart.

 

Look at the guys on The Big Bang Theory? Yeah sure, those are stereotypical nerds, but in real life they wouldn't be sleeping with girls. They would be the outcast, the loner.

[Cracker Jack]

I could never see myself sleeping with a prostitute, no matter how desperate I am. However, I wouldn't look down on someone who went to one. It's unfortunate, but sometimes it's all one can do.

 

As for male virginity, the countless topics here have pretty much showed that a lot of women wouldn't want anything to do with a virgin male. Mainly because it would either require them to give him training, or because it's a clear sign that the guy wasn't able to have successful connections with women in his dating life, or lack thereof--which would indicate that the dude likely has some issues.

[oaks]

If someone works in IT and is a computer major, or an engineer, they are pretty smart.

 

Sure, but that's just one data point. Hardly a trend, and I think there are plenty of single idiots, too.

 

 

Look at the guys on The Big Bang Theory? Yeah sure, those are stereotypical nerds, but in real life they wouldn't be sleeping with girls. They would be the outcast, the loner.

 

That's fiction, and comedy. I'm not sure that a "but in real life" treatment really works well.

[Jynxx]

If someone works in IT and is a computer major, or an engineer, they are pretty smart.

I've noticed guys into "hard" sciences like physics, maths and IT tend to have more trouble connecting with girls. Those tend to contain alot of really smart people. I don't know any really smart "soft scientist" guys (psychologists, economists,...) because I don't have many in my social circle, but I would guess the way of thinking is the dominant factor over the thinking capacity. My opinion, feel free to bring up stats.

 

I guess people who use logic and reasoning to make decisions have a hard time predicting reactions and feelings of people who rely on emotions to make decisions, and oftentimes don't understand why someone acts in some way that's totally irrational.

[carhill]

Whats your thoughts on this?

 

I never complained about being a virgin. It was life. I was looking for a LTR and didn't find one for many years.

 

OTOH, I could have opened the shop door during most of my 20's and waved in a hooker and gotten a blow job for 20 bucks, or about 2hrs wages. They walked by every day and a few even ducked in the door to escape vice. Never crossed my mind.

 

We all view sex in different ways. I saw plenty of condoms in the parking lot and plenty of men stopping and talking to the hookers so I guess it crossed their mind and they had the money to spend. Different strokes for different folks.

 

I never felt my virginity inhibited my success in the world nor the formation of loving friendships. It was a non-issue. I had plenty of issues with seeking relationships with unhealthy women but that was a completely separate issue.

[Elysian Powder]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

 

And those are the boys who are virgins in their 20's while the guys who couldn't care less about the girl's feelings lost their virginity at the age of 15. How many guys have been friend-zoned? From the very first man who thought to himself, ''maybe if I am romantic, caring, or if I try to create a real emotional connection with her by using other methods, she'll start caring for me in that special way,'' to the young man who thinks that young women are interested in the sullen, ''lost boy smile'' of the main protagonist of Twilight.

 

His 6'4'' height and Angelic good-looks have nothing to do with it, nope, just part of the decoration.

 

This is not pleasant, but women don't give advice that works. Women teach men how to be good friends to women, but sadly, most women differentiate friendship from lust or love, and most will not have their best friend, or a ''great emotional connection'' with the boyfriend or with the fwb; but with their BMF(best male friend).

 

Who is the BMF? The man who tries to form an emotional connection with her before having sex with her.

 

Yes, I'm sure one or two of you need friendship first for a romantic relationship to have it's legs formed, but here's news for ya; one woman, two women, a hundred women, are not the whole of womanhood.

 

Look, guys. It doesn't make any sense to be in your 20's and still a virgin. This is the century of sex; condoms sold a the price of bubblegum, condoms being given for free at youth centers; young women starting the pill in their teens, Brazilian waxing, lingerie, porn, high-level prostitution.

 

I'll talk to you about a personal experience. Back at high school, our teachers made us treat young women as if they were ladies of long ago. We'd get up as soon as a female appeared; we'd carry their books, we'd take them home.

 

Do you think that any of these guys had any sex? LOL. Only a handful of the guys from that high school had sex, and in all of those guys, the need to form an emotional connection with the girls was non-existent; women enjoy courteous treatment but how you make a woman feel is no guarantee that you'll get sex or a relationship.

 

Years later, I found the same situation happening in college. The guys who tried to make a connection with women were last in line; most of them never managed to find a date, and most of them never had a girlfriend. The douchebags, the bad boys, the casanovas and the players are never in need for dating advice; learn from them. Drain them from their wisdom.

 

Don't bother with women's advice; you think Fort Knox is going to give the gold for free?

Edited September 25, 2011 by Elysian Powder

[Elysian Powder]

Tell you what. I'm in a generous mood so I'll share with you another life story of mine. Years ago I met a young woman, she was 18 years old, beautiful, and straight out of high school. Sweet as only peaches can be, demonstrative of her affectionate temperament with old people, animals,and with nature itself.

 

Here's the surprising fact about her. Despite of her talents in the arts, her beauty, her joviality and her intelligence.. she had never had a boyfriend in her life before meeting me, not even a kiss.

 

She had dozens upon dozens of young men dotting on her. They were gentlemen; accommodating, honest, faithful, and great friends. All of these guys were everything a father would want for his child. Considerate and patient, these guys established an emotional connection with her, they were always there for her; they invested years and years, money and emotion on her.

 

What was the result of following the advice their mothers gave to them?

 

3 years of blue balls and they had to listen everyday to how amazing they were, but she ''wasn't'' ready for a relationship.

 

3 years after the cycle of vagina-worshipfulness began, I came into the scene. I wasn't thinking that I would have to first expose my self - core to her.. Only that I had an hard-on whenever I looked at her. She didn't stir my emotions and I more clearly than not did not bother with making her feel good and I did not try to clear the ground for an emotional bond to form itself, from me to her.

 

I came, I saw, I conquered. I only had to exist for her to feel attracted enough to put out. I managed to bang a honest-to-god virgin without turning myself into the mockery that these suckers were. I had only known her for one week, and I had barely contacted her before ****ing her. Quite a long-shot, wouldn't you say? 3 years, geez, shame she never introduced me to the guys. It wouldn't go too good for their ego?

 

emotional connections are a waste of time. Women are attracted to handsome men as much as any man is attracted to beautiful women; become a good-looking man, then you are able to leave behind the vagina veneration and the real fun begins.

Edited September 25, 2011 by Elysian Powder

[Untouchable_Fire]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

 

Oh yes... the super sensitive guys are the ones out constantly getting laid.

 

If they want to get laid they should join the football team.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

If boys concentrated less on just trying to get laid and concentrated more on making a real emotional connection with a girl, they would likely wind up getting sex. Funny how that works.

 

Bingo.

 

If the focus was less on "how do I sleep with a girl" and more about "how do I connect with a woman", you'd be getting a different response from women. Wanting to sleep with a woman doesn't impress women. Wanting to know a woman on a deeper level does.

 

It's not the virgin part that is unattractive. It's the idea that your worth as a man is tied to sleeping with women that is unattractive if you ask me. It's the attitude.

[Elysian Powder]

Oh yes... the super sensitive guys are the ones out constantly getting laid.

 

If they want to get laid they should join the football team.

 

Or a fraternity house. I tell you boys.. many of the loose women going from frat boy from frat boy put out because of your status as a frat brother, and many of these females go on to become the wives of senators and presidents. Can we find any flaw in those females?

 

Join a high profile fraternity house. The women are highly good-looking, put out for peanuts, and you don't have to look like a young Ronald Reagan to have all of that. Use your head. It can help you get laid.

[Elysian Powder]

Bingo.

 

If the focus was less on "how do I sleep with a girl" and more about "how do I connect with a woman", you'd be getting a different response from women. Wanting to sleep with a woman doesn't impress women. Wanting to know a woman on a deeper level does.

 

It's not the virgin part that is unattractive. It's the idea that your worth as a man is tied to sleeping with women that is unattractive if you ask me. It's the attitude.

 

Truthfully spoken. Now give me around, say, 8 hours, for that's how long It'll take me to read all of the threads from guys who can't get laid because they try to have ''it'' emotionally, before trying to bed the woman. Be kind to me. Allow me some 10 hours more, for a good margin of movement. I still have to read all of the threads from women on dating, how to approach women, and how to befriend them.

 

And women don't understand why half of the men who struggle with women either turn completely to porn, and the other half transforms itself into puas and douchebags LOL!

[Cracker Jack]

I've never had an issue making an emotional connection with a woman. I was the guy willing to hold them tightly when they were crying, and being the one they can confide in when everyone appears to have turned their back on them.

 

The problem is that connection makes you a "nice guy that any woman would be lucky to have", which means you're getting no further with the woman.

 

That's just how it is for a lot of guys. Getting laid was the furthest thing from my mind--making them happy emotionally was the #1 thing to do. When I sit and think about it from time to time, I realize that I hurt myself more with that attitude, so it's not a solution.

Edited September 25, 2011 by Cracker Jack

[Elysian Powder]

I've never had an issue making an emotional connection with a woman. I was the guy willing to hold them tightly when they were crying, and being the one they can confide in when everyone appears to have turned their back on them.

 

The problem is that connection makes you a "nice guy that any woman would be lucky to have", which means you're getting no further with the woman.

 

That's just how it is for a lot of guys. Getting laid was the furthest thing from my mind--making them happy emotionally was the #1 thing to do. When I sit and think about it from time to time, I realize that I hurt myself more with that attitude, so it's not a solution.

 

Any man can be a walking psychologist. Most women are friendly and nice to a guy they just met because that's how they build an army of suckers, orbiters, men who provide the emotional support and tenderness, anchors to a woman's problems and insecurities; but they don't **** the woman.

 

A friend of mine is an average guy and has a pleasant personality. He'll try to help out people if he can. He met a woman in her 30's who was in a sorrowful state over her boyfriend's lack of interest and indifferent treatment(he wouldn't even **** her).

 

This sucker made sure that she was fine, never expected anything from her, but sadly developed feelings for her. One week after she meets a douchebag and ****s him. What was my friend's reward?

 

He got to hear how much she enjoyed sucking the guy's dick.

 

[Fondue]

If you go around trying to "make connections," you'll just get a bunch of female whom will NEVER let you insert yourself into them. You'll just be that "nice guy" whom they will keep you at am arm's length so the "friendship doesn't get ruined."

 

Purposefully go about your buisiness and avoid any emotional attachment, and magically, her legs open.

 

It's funny how it works :].

 

EDIT: Wrong smiley.