Your view on male virginity vs male use of prostitution

[In A Rut]

You must be very $$pecial then.

 

I agree it shouldn't be a problem, but if youre going to say the vast majority of women don't care then you're wrong. They might "tolerate" it to an extent if you have some amazing talent, they are morbidly obese, or you have lot of money, but even then they will never fully accept you for you.

 

I'm not special at all and I am not a playboy, I don't attract hordes of women, but I do attract women. I don't know how or why I attract women and I am not bothered if I do or not. It's always flattering when women are attracted or interested in you, but I like who I am, I enjoy being me and I'm not that bad looking either. I like my smile and I like all of my imperfections because as I've discovered that trying to be perfect is boring and striving for perfection is boring. I like my odd sense of humour and the fact sometimes I leave the house wearing odd socks. If I am not a majority of women's ideal man then that's fine, I've never wanted to attract loads of women anyway, I'd much rather attract one good quality woman than ten poor quality women.

[KathyM]

Caring about emotions doesn't mean we don't care about your face and if we don't want to look at it, no amount of emotions is going to help.

 

What I mean is, the "players" tend to be attractive. The less a man cares about his appearance, the more he cares about emotion. The second a good looking guy knows he is good looking, he turns into a player because he can. Women let them get away with it.

 

I would be about safe to bet there are far more girls men are attracted to than men girls are attracted to. I'm sorry, but the majority of you are ugly.

 

Repeating what I said earlier, only in a different way.

 

No amount of emotion is going to fix your bear gut, or balding head. Get hair plugs and lose some weight and then maybe emotion can come into play.

 

Being a "nice/good guy" is no excuse to "let yourself go".

 

Being an "attractive guy" is no excuse to be a player.

 

Women don't have the distinction, because most women care about their appearances. It's the difference between the sexes.

Well, I would not agree with this. There are many good looking guys who are not players and who are wonderful men with good character and seeking a monogamous relationship. I know of many in various age ranges. There are also a lot of women who will overlook a guy's physical appearance, unless it's really bad, if the guy has a lot of other good qualities about him. I know of at least four women off the top of my head that are either dating or married to a guy because of his other attributes, and he is an average joe (or not even that). Either these guys had great personalities, great character, or were really nice guys that these women were drawn to. We can't generalize that all good looking guys are players, or all average joes can't find love or are repulsive. That's just not the case. But I would agree with you that people should not let themselves go and should make the most of their appearance, if they want to achieve more success or more options in the dating world.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Woman put up mental blocks and train themselves to associate red-hair with "EWWW" or being 5'7 as "GROSS", they want to keep their eyes on the prize and be the envy of all other women. It's about vanity really . They think attraction is all about their sexual fetish for guys that look like they're from a romance novel.

 

 

You are making conclusions about what the turn-offs are due to.

 

(Are red-headed men really considered unsightly? personally, I've found red-haired men to be attractive... my boyfriend's head hair is a mixture of reddish-brown and blonde but... his facial hair grows out fiery red and I think the freckles that are speckled along his face and arms are yummy too)

 

And, for some odd reason (maybe I am defective?), I'm not attracted to men that are taken / men who are being swarmed by multitudes of women.

 

I don't care about being the "envy" of others, I actually think envy is bad thing to encourage... on top of that, I already know what I have. I don't need others to validate it. If they can't fathom it or it is simply not their cup of tea, oh well.

 

I think vanity is a human fixation, not a female one.

 

And yea, I can't do the really short men. But it's not 'cause I need someone out of a romance novel.... ....

 

..

[In A Rut]

Haha yeah I feel the same way! I'm 5'7 which isn't tall for a guy, but I don't see it as a problem either.

 

On the original topic I don't think guy virginity really even matters. A lot of guys here definitely put too much stock into worrying about it. It's a whole different animal for a woman losing her virginity.

 

It's only a problem if you make it a problem. The sooner people accept themselves for who they and what they look like, the happier and more comfortable they'll be in life. It's not easy because society projects a stereotypical archetype that everyone is told to try and aspire too.

 

As for virginity, it is overstated yes, but I can see why people worry about it. Posts on here by some people don't help either, but in truth nobody has to explain themselves as to why they are a virgin and nobody has to disclose that they are virgin. I am a virgin and I am one because until recently I wasn't ready to have sex because I was very shy, lacked confidence, but over the last year I've been locked into self improvement and it's paying off.

[KathyM]

I'd say women are far more attractive then men, but that's because I'm attracted to women, not men. Also I'd be amazed if Lynnie Bear isn't a troll of some sort.

 

If this thread has shown me one thing is that people participating in this take things way too seriously. Visiting a prostitute is not the worst thing in the world. I wouldn't visit one because I'm frightened of catching a cold, nevermind catching a sexual transmitted disease especially the ones that show no symptoms. I'm a virgin and it doesn't bother me, I don't think it's important and it doesn't define who I am, so I am not going to declare that I have yet to enjoy hot passionate sex with a woman because I don't feel that's important, just as I don't expect a woman I get with to discuss her sexual history with me, it's none of my business. As long as she is STD free that's all I'm worried about.

 

I'd like a relationship with a good women and if a man is jaded and bitter then he should visit this forum because women like KathyM and Disenchantedly Yours are women that are good women and no man or woman should ever let a few rotten apples sour the apple cart. There's lots of brilliant women in this world, you just have to get out there and find one. There's no reason why men like me, Somedude81 and a AHardDaysNight (Rolling Stones are better btw) can't find a good woman. You just have to have a fun attitude to causal dating and you just have to not take life too seriously. You only live once, so make the most of it. You never know how long you have on this planet so just seize the opportunities that present themselves to you.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[Wolf18]

Why do you care about all of this? I think you're wasting your time obsessing over women. Why not just live your life independently of women if you have such a problem with them?

 

Why not accept that there are bad women and good women in this world? Too many men waste their lives obsessing over women, trying to figure them out, trying to second their every move, trying to control and manipulate them and whatever else. Why not just appreciate women? I don't mean treat them as Princesses or someone special, just treat them as human beings.

 

Rather than trying to understand what women want and how they behave, I'd rather focus on what I want and how I behave. My life is about me and I am content on being single and I enjoy being able to improve myself, learn and discover new things about myself and learn new things about the world and life and I don't need a woman for that. If I end up with a woman it's because I want to be with her, not because I feel the need to be with her to complete me, I am already complete.

 

Thank you for this amazing , feel-good Dr Phil speech, mr (ironically named) "In A Rut". But you're still single , right? And you're a virgin! So it's obviously not working for you.

[In A Rut]

Thank you for this amazing , feel-good Dr Phil speech, mr (ironically named) "In A Rut". But you're still single , right? So it's obviously not working for you.

 

I like being single, I am content with being single. I do not need to get my source of happiness, contentment and fulfillingness from another person. The reason I am single is that I'm joining the military and I haven't come across a woman I want to commit to yet, is there a problem with that?. As for my username I was feeling down in the dumps when I made this account, I naturally got over my mood and moved on with my life. Maybe if you moved on with your life instead of being bitter you might find a good woman?

 

Yes, I am a Virgin, God lock me up and throw away the key. I'd rather be a Virgin than bitter.

[Wolf18]

I like being single, I am content with being single. I do not need to get my source of happiness, contentment and fulfillingness from another person. The reason I am single is that I'm joining the military and I haven't come across a woman I want to commit to yet, is there a problem with that?. As for my username I was feeling down in the dumps when I made this account, I naturally got over my mood and moved on with my life. Maybe if you moved on with your life instead of being bitter you might find a good woman?

 

Yes, I am a Virgin, God lock me up and throw away the key. I'd rather be a Virgin than bitter.

 

I think it's important to accept your situation, but this has nothing to do with how women are going to treat you in every day life. This is about you, and I agree.

 

Let's be honest here Rut, if a cute girl came up and acted interested in you, you would melt and probably put your entire life on hold for her

 

There is nothing wrong with having another person fulfill you. Human beings are social animals that need love and affection. Even me as a manly man will admit that I need this. For me it's my male friends and my family who provide for my social needs.

 

I'm not "bitter", i'm just sick of women getting a pass because men are afraid to call a spade a spade. If I hold women accountable or not, their opinion of me as a mate (which is all I care about I don't need any new flakey female "friends") won't change whatsoever. If a woman likes the way I look, I'm probably going to sleep with her regardless of my personality (yes, I know, you will all deny it up and down but personal experience tells otherwise). If a woman is not physically attracted to me, then regardless of anything I do or how much love I show her, I will never advance past "friend".

[In A Rut]

I think it's important to accept your situation, but this has nothing to do with how women are going to treat you in every day life. This is about you, and I agree.

 

I accept myself, that's enough for me. If a woman doesn't want to accept me for who I am then there's nothing I can do about it is there? I am not going to cry into my beer glass because some girl isn't interested in me.

 

Let's be honest here Rut, if a cute girl came up and acted interested in you, you would melt and probably put your entire life on hold for her

 

I've done that a few times and got burned, I don't fancy playing with fire again. If a cute girl is interested in me, then she's interested in me. If I think she is easy to get on with, I'll ask her for number and ask if she fancies getting coffee sometime.

 

There is nothing wrong with having another person fulfill you. Human beings are social animals that need love and affection. Even me as a manly man will admit that I need this. For me it's my male friends and my family who provide for my social needs.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated and loved by someone, it is natural. However there are people who have never had sex or relationships, don't have children and have never been married and enjoy life to its fullest.

 

I'm not "bitter", i'm just sick of women getting a pass because men are afraid to call a spade a spade. If I hold women accountable or not, their opinion of me as a mate (which is all I care about I don't need any new flakey female "friends") won't change whatsoever. If a woman likes the way I look, I'm probably going to sleep with her regardless of my personality (yes, I know, you will all deny it up and down but personal experience tells otherwise). If a woman is not physically attracted to me, then regardless of anything I do or how much love I show her, I will never advance past "friend".

 

I can't argue with anything there, except the bit where you say you're not bitter, of course you might not be bitter I was simply of that impression.

[Cracker Jack]

It's all in how you present it, dear boy. If you are apologetic and acting like no one has ever been interested in you, then they'll start to wonder. If you present it that you have never met the right woman to take it to that level, and you consider sex to be an act of love, then I venture to say most women would find that very endearing and worthy of respect. Of course, you would have to back up that philosophy with your actions, and hold out that aspect of your relationship until you did love the person.

 

I see what you mean. I'm not really a virgin, but I'm basically totally inexperienced. And that "experience" happened some yrs ago, so I'm sorta back to where I started.

 

Personally, I'd never act apologetic about being sexually inexperienced. What worries me is doing the deed and having the woman realize that I'm an amateur at it. I'd hate to be called out on it. But perhaps I'm worrying about this a bit too much.

[Floridaman]

I see what you mean. I'm not really a virgin, but I'm basically totally inexperienced. And that "experience" happened some yrs ago, so I'm sorta back to where I started.

Lots of guys, including me, were like that.

Sex @17-18 in HS 3X (same girl, decided to quit after guilt and a condom failure -- she agreed) and all of 2 separate times 19-29.

I knew very little about women and sex and never heard of giving a woman OS until an encounter at 25.

 

In my late 40s, there are things I never knew until recently after reading some Christian and secular marital sex and relationship improvement books.

Personally, I'd never act apologetic about being sexually inexperienced.

 

What worries me is doing the deed and having the woman realize that I'm an amateur at it.

I'd hate to be called out on it. But perhaps I'm worrying about this a bit too much.

If the woman really cares for you and loves you, it shouldn't be an issue.

 

With my future wife I met when I was 30 (she was mid-30s), didn't feel weak or like I needed to tell her I was inexperienced.... Just acted confident and proceeded after getting the green light.....

 

We ML at 4 mos. Though my drive was strong in my 20s and 30s, at 30 I wasn't in any big hurry. It had been at least 4 years since I had had sex (not LM-- there's a difference).

That's important. You don't want to rush things. .

Getting too sexual too soon, I found, could harm a potential relationship.

 

Through cudding and making out, got some sexual feelings I wanted to express. Wanted to start to "explore" her and hoped some heavy petting could later lead to LM...

 

Had done some "everything...but" with a couple of ladies in my late 20s.... Had no trouble with those womens' stances as truly I wanted a relationship first over satisfying my p**is.

 

Oddly, I'm the one that brought up past sexual experience with my future wife.

Just as we were taking off our clothes, I asked if she was a virgin.

 

Now, I don't know why I asked it that way. Or why it was so important I have an answer to that specific area.

Should have phrased it differently.

She being 35, would be unrealistic to expect to be with a virgin.

 

Didn't really need to know if she was or wasn't -- here we were about to ML and I ask that kind of question.

Didn't seem to offend her or stop her from disrobing.

 

The only thing that was really important was here she was with her arms around me, kissing me and ready to give her body to me ....

I didn't matter how many she'd been with.

 

She simply told me she wasn't, which was okay

Didn't really need to ask her about her experience bec. she was there and ready to embrace me. Our pasts didn't really matter anyway. We were falling in love and wanted to share our lives.

 

 

As we undressed and she took me in her arms, she didn't ask me about my experience or if I was a virgin.

Edited September 29, 2011 by Floridaman

[Sanman]

So basically you're saying that men are liars who deceive their girlfriends, who wouldn't want to date them if they knew the truth? And this reflects badly on women how? You seem to be saying that men are lying douchebags and innocent women are being taken in by their lies.

 

If a guy has sex with a hooker because his wife isn't up for it right after giving birth to his child, then he is a complete douchebag who obviously doesn't love his wife. In this situation we should pity the wife and hope she finds out and dumps his cheating ass. This is not the sort of thing that most normal decent guys do.

 

No. what I am saying is that some people of either gender are honest and good. Some are quite sickeningly evil. However, most of us are in the middle. Yes, there is the guy that will see a hooker if he is faced for the first time with a tired and angry new mother as a partner. There are women who may run into the arms of a co-worker after a bad fight with a spouse or jump from relationship to relationship. People are generally fallible and there is more cheating, use of prostitutes, and shady conduct than you care to admit. This behavior is not limited to some dark, scary underclass of creepy guys you are referring to. Most of society does these things and simply never gets caught or is accepted. See the cheating forum and count the number of normal, fallible people who do these things.

[Floridaman]

I like being single, I am content with being single. I do not need to get my source of happiness, contentment and fulfillingness from another person.

.....

Yes, I am a Virgin, God lock me up and throw away the key. I'd rather be a Virgin than bitter.

That's a good strong and positive attitude.

You are your own person.

You are perceptive that your happiness does not depend on another person.

 

There are worse things than being a virgin....

like having sex with someone and having deep regrets, as happened to me with 2 sep. casual encounters @25-26.

 

One night, had sex with a woman who lived in my apt. complex.

We never went on a "real" date-- another bad move.

 

Vividly remember that evening (as I do with all my sexual experiences)... what I did, how her body responded, etc.

 

As a lonely guy, was sex- and relationship-starved.

 

Remember her telling me I "didn't need to wear a condom" and could do like her EX did, just "pull out" shortly before .....

Glad I used one as I usually didn't last that long... and likely wouldn't have pulled-out in time...

 

She didn't have children so I guess her withdrawl method worked for her, but would have hated to have been the exception.

 

She asked me to do oral before I climbed aboard....

Had never given a woman oral (nor ever heard of it, TBH), so at 25, learned some things about women and sex.

 

Immediately after releasing... felt funny about her.

So great a guy I was, I got up immediately after completion and left.

 

Though she wanted me to call on her again, and wrote a tearful letter (in 1989) wondering why I wasn't interested anymore, I think her giving-in so soon turned me off toward her....

 

She might have been "the one" for me (at that time)..

Look how I ruined things...

She wanted to date me... yet I turned away from her....

 

I blame myself for ruining that relationship -- not her.

Ran into her a year later. She confided it was the sexiest night she ever had....

It was okay and I got some sexual satisfaction.

 

She confessed that having sex with me "wasn't such a great (moral) thing to do as a Christian woman...."

..........A Christian guy myself, I couldn't find a decent Christian woman if it killed me.

I didn't know she was a Christian !!!!

 

We hardly had time to get to know each other.

She may have had a child, she may have wanted a child.

 

What a stupid thing to do... rush into having sex with someone you hardly know !!!

What a great thing to have on my conscious !!!! Taking advantage of a woman like that for my sexual lusts !!!! And a Christian woman !!!

 

I really changed in my late 20s and did some things I'm not proud of, not necessarily sexual things (like forgetting to show up for a 1-day moving job like I'd promised) and began fearing God had forgotten about me.

What good me being a gentleman to women did... Thinking of their needs first, not pressing for sex, etc....

They hardly noticed I was alive.

 

Started doing things FOR ME and MY BENEFIT... AND PLEASURE like that night with her...

 

Can't tell you how much I've tried to find her name online and contact her and apologize for being so blind and how rude I was to her...

But her name is similar to a celebrity ( ala Julie Roberts vs. Julia Roberts) and unless I want to search through 1,0000s of pages of results.... Plus she may have married... I don't live in the same state now...

 

FWIW, I never did the casual sex again...... and declined some offers some women made for me to come to their hotel room at night....

 

So I hope I've "made up" for a couple of mistakes in the sexual arena....

Edited September 30, 2011 by Floridaman

[Jam3s]

I honestly don't see why guys seem to care so much about their virginity (if they are) and why those who are not give a **** about those who are. It's almost like you are viewed as a failure if you have not lost it by the time you hit your 20's. Who cares? If you are comfortable with yourself and simply waiting for someone you are comfortable losing it to instead of parading your penis around wherever it points than all the strength to you!

 

Seen a lot of discussions where guys in their 20's who have not lost it simply feel they must visit a prostitute to get the monkey off their backs, and to be honest I fail to see how this is doing anything positive for them at all. There also seems to be this false belief that females who find out will shun you on the spot which from my experience has been proving false more times than true. Comes back to this pathetic macho mentality which males possess for reasons I really can't understand.

[AHardDaysNight]

It's because most women DO shun guys for being virgins. At least, that has been my experience.

 

Maybe it's different in whatever country you're from, but in the US, if you haven't lost your virginity by age 23, you're considered a lost cause.

[KathyM]

Only because women have all of the world's power in their hands, and the power was put there by the white knights in order to please women aka, ''I'm gonna give you this and hope you'll open your legs.''

 

Those guys lost that much but the amount they've lost is irrelevant for when an average wife/girlfriend becomes bored with her partner, she can(and she will) destroy the man's life. A very rich man can afford the loss of dozens of millions. An average man is already battling the gods to pay the rent. How will he stay alive after paying child-support and alimony? Gee, maybe men should smarten up and not bother with what women want ''need'' or need as women for all their talk about feelings and butterflies don't give a dime about the former partner when the chemical high know as ''love'' wears off, or a bigger, better deal comes along.

 

Your description of what happens to men who visit prostitutes is quite suggestive of, ''women own men, so you better behave like good lap dogs and we'll leave you alone, and if you're really lucky, you might visit carpet city tonight for a whole 2 minutes before I develop an headache .''

 

No thanks. How can a rich or an average man avoid losing it all?

 

Do. Not. Bind. Yourself. Legally. To. A. Woman.

 

Women have everything to gain from marriage(or living together) and divorce is the dessert. Men - although being told the contrary by ridiculous feminist research - lose everything in a marriage and most of them are extremely sexually and emotionally needy.

 

Something funny about marriage, guys. Marital rape. If you try to get frisky with your wife, she can accuse you of rape. What is the definition of rape?

 

You looked at a woman and she didn't like that? The police - white knights - do not need any evidence to take you in; your life will have Thor's hammer crashing on top of it and you think your girlfriend, your wife cares about that?

 

Decades ago a man could get a marriage annulled if the woman turned out to be a bad wife but nowadays women can be crap at relationships and you'll still have to pay for it.

 

Fact is, in this extremely feminized world, a man is guilty before he does anything wrong. So, fck and dump women. At least you had some fun! You're guilty of everything anyway!

I'm sorry the women in your life (I mean real women) have not been a good experience for you. Obviously, that is why you have a jaded opinion. All women are not like that, though. The majority of women are good people. All of the women I know are good people, and they come in all age ranges. Just to give you some examples of good women who have benefitted men: My mother--married for 50+ years, stuck with my father despite his alcoholism, was always faithful to him, kind to him, took care of him, and cared about him. When he was in the hospital, she took the bus every day to see him and bring him whatever he needed. Second example: My sister--married for 22 years until her husband cheated on her for the second time. Supported him while he was in college. Worked for many years for his business to help him build his business to the success that it is today. Spent countless hours raising their two sons to be the wonderful young men they are today. Sure, when they were divorced, she got 1/2. She deserved it. She helped him build his company and build his family. So many women I know who are good wives, good companions, and do a lot for their husbands. Women in all age ranges. It's unfortunate that the bad ones have jaded your thinking against all women. And not all marriages are boring and mundane. My husband and I do all kinds of things together, and we provide plenty of pleasure for each other. I was there for him to financially support us when he was building his business. I was there to take care of his kids (our kids) so he would be free to pursue his business. I was there to help him with his business in a multitude of ways. I was there when he was hospitalized, standing at his bedside, bringing him good food when the hospital food was so bad, taking care of his business in his absence, and praying for his recovery, and nursing him back to health. And if you think 20 somethings don't do that, you are wrong about that also. I know may young women who do many things for their husbands, and they are valued. So I'm sorry you haven't found one of those women, and have developed the attitude that women have nothing of value to offer. You are cheating yourself out of something good in life when you have an attitude like that.

[Pompom]

Honestly, while a man with self-restraint is admirable to a degree, I'd want a guy with experience and not that awkward newbie who doesn't know how things work. I have a friend who thinks sex before marriage is absolutely immoral, he's a virgin, and of course when you ask him, it's totally out of the question that he might not be happy with whatever girl he ends up marrying (so he can have sex), because hey, as long as she shares his religious views and "her ass is perfect", how could the sex be bad?

 

I'd rather have a guy who's been with prostitutes, than a virgin with that attitude.

[AHardDaysNight]

You say that, but I bet you probably would feel differently if you got with a Virgin - do you really have the patience to teach someone what makes you tick? Most experience men probably would have some idea.

 

I'd also like to know the answer to this question.

[OnyxSnowfall]

You say that, but I bet you probably would feel differently if you got with a Virgin - do you really have the patience to teach someone what makes you tick? Most experience men probably would have some idea.

 

Of course.

 

I've stated this before, but the best lover *I've* been with was hardly experienced prior to me! He had slept with someone else once, and he was celibate for over ten years after that ('til I ended it :X)

 

I've had the misfortune (lol) of having been with "players" during my earlier youth and they were truly the most sloppy lovers I've been with --- even the more generous ones were just... .... and they did NOT take guidance well at all.

 

Whereas, my favorite lover was so eager to learn and he was a very quick learner Not to mention he was insanely appreciate. He had been stewing in creative ways to have sex for YEARS too --- I think his deprivation made him into quite the sexy beast

 

He was nervous initially, but I found it endearing

 

Also. I at least happen to enjoy teaching and exploring and being explored --- I had no problem with being patient there... it was really all too amazing.

 

Hands down I'd take the virgin over the one that "seems" more experienced.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Mind you that said there are a lot of experienced men that don't seem to be able to get women off, or at least that's what the women say, the men happen to think they're fantastic lovers, so somebody's lying.

 

Exactly :X

 

also

 

appreciate = appreciative

[KathyM]

You say that, but I bet you probably would feel differently if you got with a Virgin - do you really have the patience to teach someone what makes you tick? Most experience men probably would have some idea.

I happen to think sex is something special--an act of love that is more than just a physical act. To me, it is a bonding experience that is emotional, spiritual and physical. It has meaning to me. Something to be experienced with someone you really care about and love. Not some guy thats here today and gone tomorrow. That would cheapen it for me. Good sex is a skill that can be learned, and I would much rather enjoy the learning process with a man who valued it as much as I did, than some guy who would do it with any hoe that he came across. I'd rather have the virgin who valued sex and was careful about who he had it with, instead of some player who was more experienced. Especially if the guy had slept with a prostitute--that's just disgusting. Repulsive to even think about. Someone that's had sex with hundreds of guys--making herself nothing more than a recepticle, and totally devoid of any feelings or emotional connection with the guy. Can't even stand to kiss him and is usually repulsed by him. It makes the act cheap and meaningless. I'd much rather have the virgin.

Edited October 16, 2011 by KathyM

[somedude81]

There you go AHardDaysNight, there is hope for you and Somedude81 after all.

LOL, I just happened to read this post.

 

I fall under the category of inexperienced guys who are very eager to learn. I just need to find somebody who is willing to teach.

 

But first, I need to get women to actually date me and that's already enough of a pain when women don't know of my inexperience.

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by KathyM

I'd rather have a man who actually values women and relationships, and thinks of sex as a way to show love, and who would not degrade himself by experiencing it with someone that sells it to all kinds of creepy characters. Sex is not rocket science. It's not that difficult to learn, and anyone who actually cares about you would have the patience to teach you if need be. I'd rather have the virgin who actually values a woman and values himself, and would never consider degrading himself to be with trash.

 

 

You say that, but I bet you probably would feel differently if you got with a Virgin - do you really have the patience to teach someone what makes you tick? Most experience men probably would have some idea.

Rut,

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Just as there are many virgin or "inexperienced" men, there may be many virgin or less-experienced women.

 

Most of the women I dated in my late 20s were either virgins or didn't have a lot of "experience" (may have had sex only a couple of times).

 

Originally Posted by KathyM

I happen to think sex is something special--an act of love that is more than just a physical act. To me, it is a bonding experience that is emotional, spiritual and physical. It has meaning to me. Something to be experienced with someone you really care about and love. Not some guy thats here today and gone tomorrow. That would cheapen it for me.

Judging by Kathy's posts, she appears to have dated virgin or "inexperienced" guys, so don't go thinking ALL women would look down on virgins, though of course some would.

 

Many women wouldn't laugh at or think less of a guy who hadn't had sex with nearly every girl he dated.

Was one of those "inexperienced" guys myself and never had a woman have to "teach" me, though I wouldn't have minded.

 

I preferred the inexperienced BTW and none of them ever belittled me for my "ignorance" on sex.

 

In some "everything.. but" I had with 2 women in my late 20s, a 30 y.o. virgin and an "less-inexperienced" 34 y.o., gave them OS.

The 35 y.o. woman I married never gave nor received OS with her former fiance (her only partner) and won't have anything to do with it... no matter how I approach her at the critical moment.

AND I WANT TO GIVE IT TO HER !!!

So ignorance can be bliss on some things.

 

And like Kathy posted, sex is intuitive and not that hard to learn.

Just bec. you don't know much about sex, don't go thinking your ignorance on the matter will look bad to a woman, not one that loves you, anyway.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Floridaman

[Pompom]

I'd rather have a man who actually values women and relationships, and thinks of sex as a way to show love, and who would not degrade himself by experiencing it with someone that sells it to all kinds of creepy characters. Sex is not rocket science. It's not that difficult to learn, and anyone who actually cares about you would have the patience to teach you if need be. I'd rather have the virgin who actually values a woman and values himself, and would never consider degrading himself to be with trash.

I love how people generalize things they don't agree with, to vilify them. Of all the customers I've had, I can remember more than enough to value and respect women, and I've valued and respected them in turn. Prostitution doesn't have to be degrading to either party when done with the right mindset.

And also, thank you very much for calling all prostitutes trash. Just goes to show that there are enough non-prostitutes with a character and (lack of) respect for fellow human beings, that would chase a guy off and right into the arms of a prostitute who at least feigns some decency rather than insulting people for no valid reason. Seriously, what decent person goes and lumps a group of people together by openly calling them trash? Prostitutes aren't rapists or murderers or Nazi doctors or terrorists, and even in legislations where their profession is illegal, they do not actually cause actual harm (hurt sensitivities of people who don't like the thought of sacred sex being commercialized by others they got no business interfering with, not counted here) unless they transmit diseases, which is not exclusive to hookers.

 

Your whole statement just shows that you know little more about prostitution, than what the stigmatizing, finger-pointing society has taught you to think of it. Like, feel free to insult an entire profession, sure, go right ahead. Not like there's a valid reason for it, but who cares, right? I could by the same logic say something nasty about cleaning ladies; after all they scrub other peoples' skid marks for a very low wage, in a submissive-looking bent over position to boot.

There is nothing wrong with buying or selling sex, as long as both parties approach it with the right mentality involving both mutual respect, and leaving strong emotions at the door. And yes, that kind of prostitution exists. When you refrain from blindly judging all over the place, that is. The only thing wrong with it, is that it doesn't sit well with some people, but nobody has the right to demand something be outlawed or free to insult, just because they don't like it PERSONALLY. Don't like = don't do, simple as that. I hate Pokemon. Let's call all children who like Pokemon, trash.

 

With all respect for your personal attitude toward sex, you have no right to insult people who think of it differently.

If you don't like prostitution, don't engage in it. But just like nobody gets to judge you for declaring sex sacred, you do not get to insult others for using it for money or leisure. You only get to decide what's right for yourself. You don't get to tell others how to feel about sex.

 

Also, I reported your extremely and needlessly insulting post. I am not tolerating some stranger calling me, or my ex-coworkers "trash" for no apparent reason. I am college-educated with an IQ way above average, have probably been more places than you have, seen and done more things than most people dare to even think about, and I could tell you all this fluently in 6 languages. I'll just refrain from bragging about winning every literature contest I bother entering, and being an amazing multi-disciplined artist in general I am the farthest from "trash" as it gets, thank you very much, and I am not letting a random stranger get away with calling me that without being able to back up their unthinkably offensive words by solid facts.

[Floridaman]

I love how people generalize things they don't agree with, to vilify them. Of all the customers I've had, I can remember more than enough to value and respect women, and I've valued and respected them in turn. Prostitution doesn't have to be degrading to either party when done with the right mindset.

And also, thank you very much for calling all prostitutes trash. Just goes to show that there are enough non-prostitutes with a character and (lack of) respect for fellow human beings, that would chase a guy off and right into the arms of a prostitute who at least feigns some decency rather than insulting people for no valid reason. Seriously, what decent person goes and lumps a group of people together by openly calling them trash? Prostitutes aren't rapists or murderers or Nazi doctors or terrorists, and even in legislations where their profession is illegal, they do not actually cause actual harm (hurt sensitivities of people who don't like the thought of sacred sex being commercialized by others they got no business interfering with, not counted here) unless they transmit diseases, which is not exclusive to hookers.

 

Your whole statement just shows that you know little more about prostitution, than what the stigmatizing, finger-pointing society has taught you to think of it. Like, feel free to insult an entire profession, sure, go right ahead. Not like there's a valid reason for it, but who cares, right? I could by the same logic say something nasty about cleaning ladies; after all they scrub other peoples' skid marks for a very low wage, in a submissive-looking bent over position to boot.

There is nothing wrong with buying or selling sex, as long as both parties approach it with the right mentality involving both mutual respect, and leaving strong emotions at the door. And yes, that kind of prostitution exists. When you refrain from blindly judging all over the place, that is. The only thing wrong with it, is that it doesn't sit well with some people, but nobody has the right to demand something be outlawed or free to insult, just because they don't like it PERSONALLY. Don't like = don't do, simple as that. I hate Pokemon. Let's call all children who like Pokemon, trash.

 

With all respect for your personal attitude toward sex, you have no right to insult people who think of it differently.

If you don't like prostitution, don't engage in it. But just like nobody gets to judge you for declaring sex sacred, you do not get to insult others for using it for money or leisure. You only get to decide what's right for yourself. You don't get to tell others how to feel about sex.

 

Also, I reported your extremely and needlessly insulting post. I am not tolerating some stranger calling me, or my ex-coworkers "trash" for no apparent reason. I am college-educated with an IQ way above average, have probably been more places than you have, seen and done more things than most people dare to even think about, and I could tell you all this fluently in 6 languages. I'll just refrain from bragging about winning every literature contest I bother entering, and being an amazing multi-disciplined artist in general I am the farthest from "trash" as it gets, thank you very much, and I am not letting a random stranger get away with calling me that without being able to back up their unthinkably offensive words by solid facts.

You seem a little sensitive here.

Like abortion, most people aren't comfortable with prostitution, even when it's legal.

No need to get hyper-sensitive here.