Ross MwcFan Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think prostituation can definatley help some men, who just want to at least be able to experience physical touch with a woman, but then I guess there are massages. I wanted to see a pro myself back in the day, but ever since a few years ago, for some reason, the thought of seeing one just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 The problem is finding a woman who is 29, and still a virgin. A unicorn would exist before I would find one who's that age. I would definitely prefer a virgin, too, or even someone who has never dated before. But I have never found someone like that, either. BeatlesMan, I posted about that 30 y.o. virgin I dated @26. It wasn't "one in a million" that I found her. Actually, may post more later, but she came down heavy on me with judgement when I truthfully told her my experience. Knew some other older virgins, in their late 20s and early 30s, or ones that only had sex once or twice, so they are out there. Of course, having sex "once or twice" negates their virginity, but having limited experience means you don't know a lot about sex and therefore might be less inclinced to "judge" a man for not being "experienced." Why are you so sure you're an "oddball" on this? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Kathy, As you've posted you're in the psychology field, are there any studies or surveys out there that show women's views toward virgin or inexperienced men? As there are studies on seemingly everything, thought you might know of some research conducted in that field -- or related research involving older virgins and societal attitudes and peer pressure. I'm sure there are studies or surveys, but I have not researched the issue of public perception of virgins. I've based women's perception of virgins on women I know, but I may take up that study at some point in the future if there's an assignment that will allow it. I've gotta run. Have a nice afternoon. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 All you're getting is 1/2 hour of physical contact from someone who is desperate or damaged enough to resort to that line of work, who doesn't care about you, only wants your money, who won't even kiss you and most likely thinks you are pathetic and repulsive, but she forces herself to pretend because she wants your money. If that makes you feel good about yourself, then you are not emotionally healthy. And neither is she. It's not ideal, but it certainly is a lot better than nothing. I have to say the vast majority of my sexual experiences have been pretty devoid of emotions. I've had a few one night stands with women back in my jock/popular guy days and it was no more loving and emotional than banging a hooker. I hope you've never had a one night stand and never will, if you have then you are a hypocrite as are most people who make emotional type arguments against prostitution. There are a lot of women that pretend to do a billion things and use men much worse than any hooker ever will. If you want to selectively pontificate against hookers (and whether you'll admit or not, it's because you find the idea that men can just pay to have sex a huge threat to your leverage with men) you better call for the ban of women using men (and not even giving them sex). We don't give a **** about emotion, some of us just want to get laid. If it's with someone I really care about that's a bonus, but that doesn't seem like a realistic expectation at this point, so I'll be happy with something that is female. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 BeatlesMan, I posted about that 30 y.o. virgin I dated @26. It wasn't "one in a million" that I found her. Actually, may post more later, but she came down heavy on me with judgement when I truthfully told her my experience. Couldn't edit this in: She really made me feel low when I honestly told her my limited experience (3X in HS, 2X in my 20s). She literally came to tears when she learned I wasn't a virgin like her. Like I was some kind of promiscuous, irresponsible guy? I didn't go into detail, just brief generalities, like I would have expected her to impart had she not been a virgin. No way would I have held that against her or thought less of a non-virgin in her late 20s and 30s. Truthfully, I thought it was special she hadn't given herself to a guy yet. Yes, I hoped I might be that guy (after engagement or marriage). Just like experienced women, I'd think, wouldn't hold a man's inexperience as some shortcoming. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 We don't give a **** about emotion, some of us just want to get laid. If it's with someone I really care about that's a bonus, but that doesn't seem like a realistic expectation at this point, so I'll be happy with something that is female. Get your point, but you don't speak for all men. Maybe I'm an oddball, but I actually happened to care about emotions and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Get your point, but don't speak for all men. Maybe I'm an oddball, but I actually happened to care about emotions and all that. How cute. So I suppose you'd never have a one night stand, given the chance, either, right? Or are you another hypocrite. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) How cute. So I suppose you'd never have a one night stand, given the chance, either, right? Or are you another hypocrite. Ouch. How did you know my weak spot? Yes, I unfortunately did have a ONS, 2 to be exact, in my mid-20s. During a time I was more lonely and desperate. Didn't meet my love until my 30s. In my 40s now. Have posted about one of them (earlier in this thread). http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3652791&postcount=314 In every other relationship or dealing with women, however, I did care about feelings and emotions. Like I said, I got your point and there's a lot of truth there. But neither of us can speak for all men. EDITED IN LINK Edited October 23, 2011 by Floridaman Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I suppose being a virgin is a good thing, because it means I'm clean in God's eyes. That being said, though, masturbation is getting old. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Alright, point taken. But anyone who has ever had NSA sex in their life is in no position to talk about the morality of prostitution, they're just as immoral as any whoremongerer and have no right to judge. If a guy who bangs lots of prostitutes is such a turn off and so gross for his lack of morals, I would assume you would think the same of the typical cad or womanizer? In theory people would say yes, but in practice those are the guys who end up with all the women anyway Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Juxtaposed against the real frustrations read here from the male virgins, one perhaps can consider the story of the person known as Natalie Dylan who, legally, auctioned her virginity to the highest bidder of her approval, to be consummated at the Bunny Ranch in Carson City, NV. I did a bit of background on her and she seems legit. This was a couple years ago. In her words, "This is all about being pro-choice with your own body. Whether it is abortion, fighting on the front lines in war, or even something as taboo as selling your virginity. I feel empowered because I am being pro-choice with my body." Apparently, the Australian man, evidently married, who was the high bidder at nearly $4MM backed out and asked that his $250K deposit be returned. I don't know what happened after that. I was more interested in the young lady's perspective on her circumstance and choice. One remembrance from my own past, as a virgin working amongst prostitutes, was that they never propositioned me, never offered to trade the door, or money, for a blow job or sex. They did their thing and respected that I did mine. The homeless men, however, never ceased to hound me for money and would never take up the broom I offered them for ten bucks to clean out the shop. Ten bucks back then was a good two hour's wage for manual labor. Still, they didn't want to work. They'd rather live under the overpass and get their meals free at the mission and use the money for booze/drugs. Oh, forgot to add....all my 'sex' (I call it lovemaking) has been in LTR's or my marriage. That's consistent with not being interested in those prostitutes back when a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Alright, point taken. But anyone who has ever had NSA sex in their life is in no position to talk about the morality of prostitution, they're just as immoral as any whoremongerer and have no right to judge. If a guy who bangs lots of prostitutes is such a turn off and so gross for his lack of morals, I would assume you would think the same of the typical cad or womanizer? In theory people would say yes, but in practice those are the guys who end up with all the women anyway Notice in this thread, I never attacked prostitutes nor the men that patronize them. That doesn't mean I support prostitution. Quite the contrary. Like Kathy, I find the practice repulsive and would never employ one. However, I respect those that leave the street. One remembrance from my own past, as a virgin working amongst prostitutes, was that they never propositioned me, never offered to trade the door, or money, for a blow job or sex. Car, I'd like to hear more about that. Do you mean you professionally did work that involved prostitutes, such as in social services? Oh, forgot to add....all my 'sex' (I call it lovemaking) has been in LTR's or my marriage. That's consistent with not being interested in those prostitutes back when a virgin. Car, Your past sounds fine. I know you were a late virgin, in your 30s. I wasn't but lived like one in my 20s. (Put a stop to that in my 30s) Like you, I consider my sex in HS and the 2X I had it in my 20s, just sex. I didn't really ML -- where you put your heart, soul, passion and body into the other -- until I met my future wife. Minus the you dating women you didn't know were married, our lives weren't terribly different, in terms of virginity and "getting lots of women.":laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Juxtaposed against the real frustrations read here from the male virgins, one perhaps can consider the story of the person known as Natalie Dylan who, legally, auctioned her virginity to the highest bidder of her approval, to be consummated at the Bunny Ranch in Carson City, NV. I did a bit of background on her and she seems legit. This was a couple years ago. In her words, "This is all about being pro-choice with your own body. Whether it is abortion, fighting on the front lines in war, or even something as taboo as selling your virginity. I feel empowered because I am being pro-choice with my body." Apparently, the Australian man, evidently married, who was the high bidder at nearly $4MM backed out and asked that his $250K deposit be returned. I don't know what happened after that. I was more interested in the young lady's perspective on her circumstance and choice. One remembrance from my own past, as a virgin working amongst prostitutes, was that they never propositioned me, never offered to trade the door, or money, for a blow job or sex. They did their thing and respected that I did mine. The homeless men, however, never ceased to hound me for money and would never take up the broom I offered them for ten bucks to clean out the shop. Ten bucks back then was a good two hour's wage for manual labor. Still, they didn't want to work. They'd rather live under the overpass and get their meals free at the mission and use the money for booze/drugs. Oh, forgot to add....all my 'sex' (I call it lovemaking) has been in LTR's or my marriage. That's consistent with not being interested in those prostitutes back when a virgin. Did a google search and came up with this. Keep in mind that it's from a feminist women's blog, so take it with a grain of salt. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Car, I'd like to hear more about that. Do you mean you professionally did work that involved prostitutes, such as in social services? My profession was and is as a machinist. During a particular period, my shop was in an industrial area which was in the unofficial 'red light' district, with its distinct rundown 'not-tel' motels and street walking prostitutes. That period was generally from 1983-1987. The building is still there. The prostitutes still walk by. Some of the motels have been torn down or were burnt up. The rescue mission is still there. During that period I would work a few hours a week there serving homeless people meals. Overall, the area is more rundown now than when I worked there. A freeway offramp was closed due to earthquake standards and a whole tent city has sprouted up on it and under it. Not pretty. Regarding Natalie Dylan, I found some clips of her phone-in on Oprah and some first-person interviews she did with media. It's all easy found through Google. I think it underscores the real differences between the genders when it comes to virginity and sex, though it's only tangentially relevant to prostitution since it was only to be a one-time deal. IIRC, from her interviews, she said that her sister worked for the Bunny Ranch but only for a short period of time, to make some money for school. Unknown if that is true. Anyway, interesting stuff. If not for the thread, I wouldn't have cast around for other perspectives. Thanks for that. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think the main difference between men and women, regarding virginity, is that women can suffer and talk about it. Men, on the other hand, suffer in silence. That is, until they find a relationship forum, and then all the frustration comes out. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think the main difference between men and women, regarding virginity, is that women can suffer and talk about it. Men, on the other hand, suffer in silence. That is, until they find a relationship forum, and then all the frustration comes out. Men have that issue for many more things than just virginity. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think the main difference between men and women, regarding virginity, is that women can suffer and talk about it. Men, on the other hand, suffer in silence. That is, until they find a relationship forum, and then all the frustration comes out. That's probably true. However, if I had a friend who confided in me that he was feeling down about being a virgin or not ever having a successful dating relationship, I surely wouldn't feel less about him or laugh. I'd likely try to set him up with a gal I might know that I think he might be good to date. Am not a drinker, so wouldn't ask him to go partying with me, but would try to help in other ways. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Men have that issue for many more things than just virginity. But virginity is the main thing. Who is going to ask you "hey, when was the last time you kissed a girl?" I've never been asked that question. You can skate over the "hey, when was your last relationship?" with, "it's been a while." That pretty much stops that question in it's tracks. However, "when did you last have sex?" is a question I've been asked before, and it never bodes well. Because the other person recognizes that you're uncomfortable, and logically makes the right assumptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 However, "when did you last have sex?" is a question I've been asked before, and it never bodes well. Because the other person recognizes that you're uncomfortable, and logically makes the right assumptions. Who's asking you that? More importantly: why? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Men, on the other hand, suffer in silence. That is, until they find a relationship forum, and then all the frustration comes out. I laugh because it's so far in the past but that's very true. Imagine being a male virgin in the pre-anonymous internet world. The closest you'll get to discussing virginity is 'sharing' notes about how to get laid and listening really intently to what you hear. Otherwise, no male friend would touch a 'loser' who can't get laid with a ten foot pole. Nobody ever knew I was a virgin, not my parents, not my male or female friends, not the women I dated. It wasn't talked about. There was no internet. The closest thing to anonymous was a pay phone. Times certainly have changed. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I laugh because it's so far in the past but that's very true. Imagine being a male virgin in the pre-anonymous internet world. The closest you'll get to discussing virginity is 'sharing' notes about how to get laid and listening really intently to what you hear. Otherwise, no male friend would touch a 'loser' who can't get laid with a ten foot pole. Nobody ever knew I was a virgin, not my parents, not my male or female friends, not the women I dated. It wasn't talked about. There was no internet. The closest thing to anonymous was a pay phone. Times certainly have changed. I have an great-great uncle who probably never had sex. He was described as "a bachelor." I suppose things have changed. Back then, people didn't talk about virginity. Now, in our over-sexualized society, you're considered an outcast if you don't have sex by the age of 14. Things have even changed in the past 10 years. When I was 18, I wasn't hearing things like "18 year old virgin loser." Nowadays, I hear it all the time. Bleh. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 (edited) Who's asking you that? More importantly: why? Last time was 3 years ago, by a co-worker when I was working at Krogers. This dude was a friend, but he was also a bit of a player. He and his girlfriend both worked there, and when they broke up he had a new girlfriend a few days later. He confided in me that he had been chasing skirts since kindergarten, and had never had any trouble with the ladies. Anyway, I answered with a lie "2 years ago." He said, "man, you gotta get some sex! 2 years is way too long!" If I had answered truthfully, I probably would have been mocked as "The 25 Year Old Virgin." Edited October 24, 2011 by AHardDaysNight Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Alright, point taken. But anyone who has ever had NSA sex in their life is in no position to talk about the morality of prostitution, they're just as immoral as any whoremongerer and have no right to judge. I would tend to agree but at least in the case where they have logical issues in their personal judgements of people it's not a case of enforcing that with force of law; every person has a right to control their own actions no matter how illogical the though process behind it is. Just don't make other people conform at gunpoint. All you're getting is 1/2 hour of physical contact from someone who is desperate or damaged enough to resort to that line of work, who doesn't care about you, only wants your money, who won't even kiss you .... When you cough up movie moments like this it just makes me more sure you have zero idea what you're talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 At least with a prostitute a man knows he is just a mean ticket in her eyes. There are many marriages where men have no idea what their wives really think of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 At least with a prostitute a man knows he is just a mean ticket in her eyes. There are many marriages where men have no idea what their wives really think of them. Even with all her shortcomings, I would still take a loving woman who went to the altar with me over a paid sex worker. Link to post Share on other sites
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