Thoughts?

[Osiris1234]

I found this comment on another site and thought i would share it.

Comment 1

 

Erica Richards

APRIL 17, 2009 AT 6:27 PM

I’m with debt hater. I like the nice guy. When I was younger and wasn’t thinking about settling down I was more attracted to the bad boy but I know that’s not what I need now that I’m looking for someone to be a life partner.

 

Pretty much here she is saying that when she was younger she was only attracted to the badboy and not the nice guy but now that she is older she wants a nice guy. Pretty much this implies that she wanted to have her "fun" (****ing around) when she was young before settling down because she knew the nice guy would be able to have a financial security and he wouldn't leave her or ditch her which sounds alot like she is just using him for money and not actually loving him because if she really wanted a life partner she could have stuck with the badboy but she knew that he wouldn't be able to hold a steady job or anything like that so the nice guy would be her backup plan.

 

 

Comment 1

 

wildflowernoris

APRIL 18, 2009 AT 2:46 PM

Funny I was just talking with my dad today about “Arthur”, a young man my father introduced me to 27 years ago (I’m now 47). He was such a country boy with no social skills to come up against this California Girl. We went on 1 date. I always said he was the kind I would marry, but at 20 marriage was far out my mind. He’s now on his second marriage with kids and doing good. It would be nice to meet a “nice guy” now, because what’s out there now is rediculous.

 

 

Again this is pretty much the same answer for comment 1. She goes to comment out there that "Because whats out there now is rediculous". Pretty much here she is implying that there were never any nice guys to begin with when she was younger when they were right there under her nose the entire time but as again she just wanted to have her "fun" and now that she has had her fun she is whining that all the nice guys have turned into bad boys because when they finally figure out thats what women want thats what they turn into but then the women complain about not finding any, so they are the ones at fault for making this happen.

 

 

 

So this is how I see it. Girls at an early age want the bad boy and not the nice guy because they wanna have their "fun" but when they start to get older they look towards they nice guy because they know he can provide financial security and everything else cause they know the badboy cant and will leave them. It has been this way for a very long time and ive seen it happen tons of times. Of course most of the nice guys have figured out this little plan they have by the time they reach their late 20's and when the girls who weren't interested in them then are interested in them now will try to go out with him but at this point he knows better (unless he is beyond stupid).

 

Ive heard the excuses "Oh i really did like you I was to afraid to tell you", please that is nothing but a bunch of bull****, if you really liked me you would have told me long ago when you were with that badboy but now all of the sudden your asking me and telling me this because now im making money, have a house, and car. And I don't blame the guys for calling them out on their bull**** either, it shows they learned their little game and then the woman gets offened by this talking about how he is wrong. Really, are we wrong? No we aren't, you made this happen and now you've reaped what you've sowd.

 

 

Majority of this I don't agree with but some of it does bring up a good point.

 

Thoughts?

[karnak]

When you browse these forums you come across stories and stories and stories concerning 40+ women who, after a life of harmony, financial stability, kids, etc... just decide to trade their marriage bliss for a rollercoaster ride with bad boys (now old men) and a life of insecurity.

 

Bottom line: there are women who like nice guys, women who like bad guys, women who want rich guys, etc, etc.

 

God only knows what everyone really wants. Some people spend lots of years in denial, pretending they want a life of stability, when they really just want to "have a walk on the wild side".

[Woggle]

Deep down they still lust for the bad boys but have finally realized that they can't tame them. Their heart will never flutter for these nice guys though the way they do for the bad boys.

[karnak]

Deep down they still lust for the bad boys but have finally realized that they can't tame them. Their heart will never flutter for these nice guys though the way they do for the bad boys.

 

Such a thing is more common than most guys want to believe. As women are masters in deception (and don't try to say i'm wrong) they can pretend to be real nice princesses/housewives until the day in which BOOM!

 

Mrs. "Jacqueline Kennedy" suddenly turns into "biker slut"/"whore next door". To the amazement and misery of many unsuspecting husbands.

[xxoo]

My thoughts are that, hopefully, both men and women develop taste and attraction for healthier partners as they mature.

 

Don't men do the same thing? Stop chasing the short skirts and exposed boobs, and start dating more "marriage material"?

 

It doesn't mean they love and desire their chosen partner any less. It means they wisened up enough to look for more....and the chosen partner is more....not less.

[karnak]

My thoughts are that, hopefully, both men and women develop taste and attraction for healthier partners as they mature.

 

Don't men do the same thing? Stop chasing the short skirts and exposed boobs, and start dating more "marriage material"?

 

It doesn't mean they love and desire their chosen partner any less. It means they wisened up enough to look for more....and the chosen partner is more....not less.

 

Yes. The same thing happens with men too. They never stop looking for the hot, slutty babes.

 

But in the meantime they marry a decent, honest woman. Someone who will raise their kids, cook and clean the house while they go about chasing the big boobs.

 

Amazing! The more time passes, the more I become aware that men and women are almost identical concerning sex and relationships.

[praxisdorian]

Yes. The same thing happens with men too. They never stop looking for the hot, slutty babes.

 

But in the meantime they marry a decent, honest woman. Someone who will raise their kids, cook and clean the house while they go about chasing the big boobs.

 

Amazing! The more time passes, the more I become aware that men and women are almost identical concerning sex and relationships.

 

Let me preface this by saying that my wife is blunt. She has all of the tact of a sledgehammer. Consequently, I get the female perspective unfiltered.

 

That said, women and men have differing agendas from the perspective of offspring, which in part drives the way we maneuver through relationships.

 

I think that I understand the whole bad boy/slut issue. First, men are designed to spread their genetic material as far and wide as they possibly can. Women are designed to be more discriminating in finding a mate that will produce superior offspring and ensure their survival.

 

My wife once told me that she wants a man that could kill someone for her. She wasn't speaking of some macabre murder plot. What she was saying is that she wanted someone who could protect her and her offspring to whatever degree was necessary including the ability to be ruthlessly lethal. That's where the "bad boy" comes in.

 

Conversely, the "slut" is attractive to men based upon their agenda. The "slut" is ostensibly an easy target.

 

Both play into the deeper subconscious aspects of the human psyche and bubble to the surface in how we percieve attraction.

[frozensprouts]

the first guy i ever went out with was a "bad boy". \i went out with him partly because i felt like crud about myself and partly because i was rebelling against my parents/society's expectations of me ( I was the smart, nerdy quiet girl who was too shy to talk to most people and always did "the right thing")

Turned out mr "bad boy" was physically abusive and after a broke up with him i spent the better part of the next ten years hiding from him.

 

"bad boys" are not all they are cracked up to be. Someone who is gentle and kind and easy to talk to and have fun with as sooooo much better.

 

As for wanting a "nice guy" because i want to be taken care of, I can take care of myself. I'm not a child and I don't want to be "taken care of".

[Reuben Kinkaid]

There is little point in looking back at what choices could have been made. The one woman mentions the "nice boy" is on his second marriage and doing well for himself. But we know nothing about why he's on his second marriage. Perhaps he beat his ex? Maybe he cheated on her? Maybe he wasn't so nice? Or perhaps he chose a woman who wasn't so nice and he lacked good judgement at the time.

 

All I'm saying is people tend to look back with blinders. And with rose colored glasses and assume if they'd made just a few changes life would be so much better. Maybe so, but unfortunately you can't go back. Go forward and learn from your mistakes. That's what I try to do, though not always with success.