Self Development Challenge

[PelicanPete]

What a lovely morning! Glad to see most of you are up and at it. My list became a bit more tailored this morning, still trying to find that perfect fit. I don't know about you guys, but I notice myself a lot more aware of what I'm doing and what I'm saying, and questioning if what I'm doing is working towards my goals.

 

Ha! I remembered today. Its 9.30 am here. Ok I'm done writing my 4 bullet points, off to finish getting ready for work!

 

Now were cookin' with gas. Great job sun_moon. Keep crackin' at it!

 

 

I am getting ready to journal. I woke up feeling panicky and it's because I'm suppose to see the ex tonight. I just text and cancelled. I feel empowered.

 

I'm teaching today. Im happy about that...

 

That's excellent Kageytn! You seem to be making a lot of progress with sleepykitten here. Something this simple can really create huge change, the only difficult thing is believing it.

 

Ooops, I decided to spend my morning (and the rest of the day) wallowing in self-pity instead

 

Promise to do better tomorrow! Thanks for reminding me

 

Viv, Great to hear from you!

I feel for ya, we have all had one of those days, but it's good you have a bit of a sense of humour about it. Just remember this is all about you and how you want yourself to be . I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

 

I like that I am lively, direct, and open.

 

I want to be more focused, organized, peaceful.

 

I want to become a woman who really truly loves and is loved.

 

I want others to see me as empathetic, wise, and joyous.

 

That's a great list Polly, and welcome aboard

 

 

There's a few stragglers out there that we gotta pump some extra encouragement into.

 

Betterdeal! I know you're out there, I saw that you changed your avatar to that wonderful white duck. It's 7pm in the UK, If we don't hear from you today, were comin' for ya . I don't want you to give up so easy.

 

Lelouch! Where ya at mate. Have yet to hear from you, this is exactly what you need my friend! Let us know how you're doing!

 

PMs are comin out tonight for both of ya

 

Also, get cozy with everyone that's doing this. We all have a common goal to improve ourselves, so its important if anyone hits a snag in their journey that were here to support and empower them.

 

Alright, Ive said my piece. Remember we have the power to take our destiny in our own hands, we just need to get a little organized .

[Graceful]

Reporting in to P-Pete (he runs a tight ship here, so I have to be obedient for once in my life):

 

I have made a four point list.

 

Already started to kick in, after only one day.

 

I will post my list once I refine it a bit, although it does not really fit the template -- that's why I want to share it.

 

Now, I must get back to work ... and manage my time a bit better for the rest of the day (that's moreorless a goal that's on my list, sneak peek)

[betterdeal]

I'm going to add a second list at the end of each day. This will be a list of three things I've achieved today. Doesn't have to be monumental. In fact, the more ordinary the better.

 

Three good things I did today:

 

1. I packed almost everything that's left to pack

2. I changed my bed sheets (fresh sheets for the win!)

3. I read up about emotional detachment

 

It's a bit late for my start of the day list, but I will update it tomorrow - I promise!

[PelicanPete]

Reporting in to P-Pete (he runs a tight ship here, so I have to be obedient for once in my life):

 

I have made a four point list.

 

Already started to kick in, after only one day.

 

I will post my list once I refine it a bit, although it does not really fit the template -- that's why I want to share it.

 

Now, I must get back to work ... and manage my time a bit better for the rest of the day (that's moreorless a goal that's on my list, sneak peek)

 

Ahha. Yeah it works fast eh? I notice myself really managing my time and challenging myself. This isn't even the exercise in it's entirety! I'm excited to see how effective our next step will be.

 

Thanks for reporting in Grace . Look forward to reading this mystery list you got goin' on.

 

 

I'm going to add a second list at the end of each day. This will be a list of three things I've achieved today. Doesn't have to be monumental. In fact, the more ordinary the better.

 

Three good things I did today:

 

1. I packed almost everything that's left to pack

2. I changed my bed sheets (fresh sheets for the win!)

3. I read up about emotional detachment

 

It's a bit late for my start of the day list, but I will update it tomorrow - I promise!

 

Ah wonderful to hear from you there betterdeal. The PM was about to be sent

 

That second list is a great idea! It adds extra motivation and confidence. People should feel free to incorporate that in their plethora of lists.

 

I saw your emotional detachment thread which made me hassle ya. I'll have to give that article a read.

 

Look forward to hearing from you guys tomorrow!

[betterdeal]

Morning, Pete!

 

I will stop turning to food in times of crisis or discomfort

I will spend a month in an exotic clime in the next year

I will start Christmas shopping soon

I will assert my needs better

[B_55]

This is a great idea, I like it! I write 10 goals for myself each day, small things, but goals none the less. I think I'm going to incorporate your list into my morning routine!

 

1. I like that I am trying to improve myself.

2. I want to become more confident in my looks

3. I want to become a helpful person to those in need.

4. I want other people to view me as a decent human being.

[Kageytn]

I talked to a person I really trusted yesterday. She said she can tell I've really been working on myself. We talked about why this break up is so hard. I've survived worse. I don't really love him anymore but Ive been on my knees over the whole thing.

 

She said I was rejecting my father as I reject my ex. I was rejecting my childhood-demanding to be treated better as I deal with this break up. He wants me back. The temptation is there but it will cause me to fall back into old behaviors and I deserve better.

 

Who knew a break up could be so endlessly complicated? Who knew I'd get a second chance to deal with this blockage and become stronger?

 

I'm blessed.

[Buttercup84]

This is fab , just what I needed thank you

 

* I am funny , affectionate , and open minded

 

* I want more patience , motivation ( hello gym and studying ) and confidence

 

* I want to be a kind , strong intelligent woman .

 

* I want people to see me as someone who is brave, smart and great to be around with .

[PelicanPete]

Just quickly checking in, I got to sleep in til 7:30am today

 

I see we have some fresh blood! Welcome to Buttercup and B_55. Glad you chose to take this journey with us. You both have admirable self goals. Remember, write your list out every morning and take a minute to reflect on the things I talked about in the first few posts. It only takes 2-3 minutes of your time, but it does wonders for your self development.

 

Everyones doin' pretty spiffy from what I read, this is great news! You should all be proud of yourselves.

 

As for my list, I think I finally got the end result. Lets make step 2 on sat since we have a few newcomers and that will make it the beginning of Oct .

 

Hope to hear from all of you. Stick with it!

[sun_moon]

Ack! I had a terrible nights sleep and woke up groggy and no energy and rushing to work, I forgot to do my list today.

 

Never fear, tomorrow is another day.

[LelouchIsZero]

Hey, PPete.

 

Just got back from my 3 day trip, so calm your farm .

 

In order to stick with the thread I shall post my list in the format that you presented, though I think I'm going to change it around a bit in my journal.

 

I like that I'm honest, thoughtful, open-minded & humorous

I want to become more assertive & motivated

I want to be an emotionally strong, independent person

I want be seen as an intelligent, wise & strong person.

[PelicanPete]

Good morning/afternoon/evening folks

 

 

 

Hey, PPete.

 

Just got back from my 3 day trip, so calm your farm .

 

In order to stick with the thread I shall post my list in the format that you presented, though I think I'm going to change it around a bit in my journal.

 

I like that I'm honest, thoughtful, open-minded & humorous

I want to become more assertive & motivated

I want to be an emotionally strong, independent person

I want be seen as an intelligent, wise & strong person.

 

Well look who it is . Good that you got your list down n ready to rock there Lelouch.

 

 

Wheres is everyone! How have you guys been doing? Notice any changes? It's amazing as something as just reminding yourself causes great changes through out the day.

 

Since the second step is going to start tomorrow, I'm just going to explain what that will entail. The first step was mainly used to just consciously make yourself aware of what you want. A lot of you have seen and noticed positive results just by doing step one by itself. It is a good way to promote a change in behavior, but step two is going to help lay the groundwork and fortify those temporary changes into reality.

 

I know a lot of you guys are busy people, and were only human and bound to make a few mistakes, so after realizing this from step one I decided to change up my original template for step two so that you won't be overwhelmed. I still want you guys to continue to write out your list from step one every morning, but for step two I also want you to pick out a quality from step one and reflect on a few key points.

 

- Why do you want this for yourself?

- What are some things you can do to achieve this goal?

- How have you progressed towards this goal?

 

This can be done any time during the day. If you do it before bed, make sure you read it over when you wake up in the morning to remind yourself.

 

So I'll use my list as an example:

 

-I am intelligent, passionate, and patient

-I want to be more open-minded, logical, resourceful, and assertive

-I want to have the courage to be the person I know I am, and not the one I've been made out to be

-I want to be seen as a leader who is inspirational and motivational to others

 

Open-minded.

- I want to be more open-minded because it is a quality I've always strived for and admired, but never really obtained.

- Apply unbias critical thinking to other peoples points of view, and really listen and consider other peoples arguments instead of trying to formulate a response.

- I feel I am only able to apply it to a few people I know personally.

 

So for today, I've explained to myself in more detail how I can become more open-minded. Because I have made myself more consciously aware of what I have to do, it will feel a bit easier trying to do it rather then the plan I have floating around in my head. There is less fear and doubt because I have developed a map towards being more open-minded.

 

So examine each of the qualities you want to acquire in a round robin fashion. So for example tomorrow I can examine ways to become more logical, the next day I can look at becoming more resourceful, few days from now I will be reflecting on how to become a leader, etc. When I get back to open-minded, I'll be able to reflect on how far I have come in achieving that goal.

 

Sometimes you may come across a quality which you may have trouble developing, you may not know the appropriate steps towards reaching your goal. That is where doing this in a group becomes valuable, because then you can just ask and have more people giving you feedback and ideas to push you along towards your goal.

 

So if you guys are online through out the day, make sure to pop into this thread and just tell us how you're doing! If you have any questions/concerns or troubles, feel free to post away. If you aren't posting, no one can really help you

 

Take care guys.

[sun_moon]

Not gonna lie, I've been slipping in my daily duties badly.....

 

I need to be revived. AHHHHH.

[Buttercup84]

I am so lazy sorry. I am too lazy to get out of bed a bit earlier so I can write down my goals here.

 

I promise I will start tomorrow !

[Buttercup84]

* I am funny , affectionate , and open minded

 

* I want more patience , motivation ( hello gym and studying ) and confidence

 

* I want to be a kind , strong intelligent woman .

 

* I want people to see me as someone who is brave, smart and great to be around with .

 

 

Kind: I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes , I need to stop that. Not lose my temper so much and remain calm. Be more patient with people and compasionate .

[betterdeal]

Soz, Pete, life has been getting in the way of planning... My list is

 

I will continue to eat when hungry and not to stave off boredom or discomfort

I will apply this principle elsewhere too

I will organise my work better

I will reconnect with my siblings and parents better

[PelicanPete]

I notice a lot of you are apologizing to me, but in the end your list isn't made for me right? It's for you! In fact the list isn't about me at all, it's a gift to yourself.

 

Don't think of it as something you have to do, but something you want to do. If you have the mindset that it is just something you need to quickly write down in the morning, then it will be hard to keep up with. You have to want it and envision yourself as the person you want to be. If you think about it that way, this should be an easy task to complete.

 

I know some of us forget, but you know what it's ok. For me improvement is on my mind all the time, so it makes it hard for me to forget. I want to work towards being the best version of myself I can be, so taking a minute and writing things down is a very reasonable price to pay for me. It's easy to get caught up in all of the little details of life and forget what you really want, who you really want to be, where you really want to go. That's what these exercises are all about in the end, reminding yourself what's important to you.

 

So all I can say guys is you have to want it. If you really want it, this list will feel like nothing. I can give you all the motivation in the world, but motivation always dies without nourishment from a persons soul. If you're finding this list hard to keep up with, you have to dig deep and find that drive to succeed. I can't give it to you because this isn't about me. This is all about you.

 

Thanks for checkin' in though, I hope to hear from more of you as well

[Kageytn]

I will learn to love myself.

 

I am going to do that by:

1. Not indulging in negative self talk

2. Setting boundaries and keeping them

3. Not letting others define me

4. Breaking childhood patterns of behavior

5. Encouraging myself and be nicer to myself

 

I also am not going to talk to my ex until oct. 6th. It's my sons birthday week and I am going to concentrate on him and our family. He won't ruin it.

 

Hopefully, I can extend it after oct. 6th. He texts and calls me but I need to ignore.

[PelicanPete]

I will learn to love myself.

 

I am going to do that by:

1. Not indulging in negative self talk

2. Setting boundaries and keeping them

3. Not letting others define me

4. Breaking childhood patterns of behavior

5. Encouraging myself and be nicer to myself

 

I also am not going to talk to my ex until oct. 6th. It's my sons birthday week and I am going to concentrate on him and our family. He won't ruin it.

 

Hopefully, I can extend it after oct. 6th. He texts and calls me but I need to ignore.

 

Good list there Kageytn. I hope you reach your goals and your son has a good birthday, it's all within your reach!

 

I haven't been able to be as active with this thread as I want to this weekend, mainly because of work and having a lot to do with this week coming up. But writing out my goals everyday has really helped.

 

In my first post I gave the example about my job and learning to be more assertive. Even though I've learned to be more assertive, I've always hated confrontation. I put assertive on my list again mainly because I want to become more comfortable and confident in a confrontational situation, because whenever one occurs I always feel restricted and unable to express myself.

 

So anyway, at my work there's only 15 minute customer parking. I work in a very busy area so there is often a lot of cars coming and going from our small lot. Anyway, I come back from the docks to see some car parked in our lot with its driver side door open and no one there. I ignore it and start serving customers. After it sitting there for about 45 minutes, I start looking for the number of a tow truck because I started to think it was a stolen vehicle that was abandoned or something. Anyway, after further investigation I realized towing wasn't an option due to the configuration of our lot and a loop hole in their policies.

 

So for another half hour this car sits there driving me nuts as it holds up traffic to our business. Someone eventually closes the driver side door, and since it's a very local community I start asking around whether anyone knows whos car that is. Of course no one knows.

 

As I'm ringing in a customer, the girl I was working with tells me the owners of the car are leaving. I just drop everything, tell my customer to hang on a second, and storm outside. My blood is boiling as they are quickly flocking in their car attempting to leave, they obviously know they weren't suppose to park there for that long. I hold my hand out for them to stop, and even though they are facing me trying to back their car out on the road they ignore it. I yell for them to stop, and the driver, looking right at me, is still pulling out onto the road. This just makes me livid, so I hit the hood of their car with my hand which finally got him to stop. I got them to roll their window down, and I refrained from yelling at them as I explained the entire situation. With their deer in the headlights look, they give the excuse that they are tourists from California. So as I point out the two huge signs that say "15 minute parking", I end it by saying "Well do they teach you to read in California?"

 

So anyway, the whole point of this story is that these exercises are helping me, and they do work if done religiously. If I wasn't doing this list and constantly reminding myself, I would have probably let those people get away and have it eat away at me for the rest of the day. Instead I was able to take the lead and confront them, which makes me feel even more confident in myself.

 

Keep it up guys . I hope you all see progress.