Marleen Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I need an advice... I met this guy a few months ago and he was my school mate in primary school. He was my dream and I fell in love with him when we were in primary. But at that time, I didn't have any chances to be with him. So I forget him and move on. Now, almost 16 years later I found him on facebook and we trade phone number. He doesn't realize at all that I was his school mate, so I continue pretending that we just knew each other now. He is still charming and handsome as before and I fell in love with him once again. But the situation is different now. He has girlfriend and has been dating her for almost 2 years and I'm just having a relationship with someone for about 3 months. Though we knew that we’re not single anymore, we still keep in contact and meet sometimes. We acted like we’re a couple in the second meeting and we kissed each other passionately. Only that. But in the next meeting, I slept with him and since that we’re continue like we’re a couple but still keep our relationships as well. Now the guilty feeling fills my heart and I can’t concentrate at all. First I thought that I will just do it for sex, but now I use my heart and feeling as well. I realized that I’ve done something really bad to his girl and to my boy also, but on the other hand I’m in love with him and want him to be my boyfriend. I know that karma will come after me if I took him from his girlfriend and I also know that if he really wants me, he would have left his girlfriend for me. Now what should I do? Should I continue my secret relationship with him or leave him before I fall deeper? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 You hardly even speak of your boyfriend. How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you are doing to him? Nobody deserves this. Please break up with your boyfriend so he may find someone else who can respect him, a relationship, and someone who will not put his health at risk for STD's. You can wait around for the other guy but the chances are great that he will stay with his girlfriend and you will have become just a booty call. Why would he want to change things? You may love him but he will always look at you as a person who does not have a problem cheating in a relationship and you will view him in the same light. There is an old saying you need to remember: If they will cheat with you - they will cheat on you. More than likely this will all end up very badly for everyone involved. The other guy does not respect you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
lolpol Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Please don't take this any further. Something similar has just happened to me (I found out that my husband has been in touch with a blast from his past & they were sending illicit texts for 11 months behind my back) and it has destroyed me. He had no feelings for her, he loves me & begs me to forgive him and give him another chance. The other woman has been left feeling used and I imagine she is very upset. She was just a bit of fun for my husband. If you and your 'friend' want things to go further, that is fair enough, but you both need to leave your current partners first. Its not fair on your partners. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 He is still charming and handsome as before and I fell in love with him once again. But the situation is different now. He has girlfriend and has been dating her for almost 2 years and I'm just having a relationship with someone for about 3 months. you are JUST having a relationship with someone for about 3 months? Is this some sort of excuse to do someone dirty? if you are actively seeking out other charming good looking guys, whether it be this one guy, or others, how about not trying to play the guy you are currently dating for a fool?? sounds reasonable to not string someone along while you look for other guys, does it not? Though we knew that we’re not single anymore, we still keep in contact and meet sometimes. We acted like we’re a couple in the second meeting and we kissed each other passionately. Only that. But in the next meeting, I slept with him and since that we’re continue like we’re a couple but still keep our relationships as well. Now the guilty feeling fills my heart and I can’t concentrate at all. First I thought that I will just do it for sex, but now I use my heart and feeling as well. I realized that I’ve done something really bad to his girl and to my boy also, but on the other hand I’m in love with him and want him to be my boyfriend. then break up with your boyfriend first. whether this other guy has an interest in a relationship with you or not. first set your boyfriend free so he can find someone that won't do this to him. I know that karma will come after me if I took him from his girlfriend and I also know that if he really wants me, he would have left his girlfriend for me. Now what should I do? break up with your boyfriend. Should I continue my secret relationship with him really? is this a serious question? really? How many people worth a squirt would tell you, "sure, what the heck, go ahead and keep cheating on your boyfriend and help betray another female" ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Now what should I do? Should I continue my secret relationship with him or leave him before I fall deeper? Good joke of a question. But here is what you do: 1. Break up with your current BF, he did nothing wrong to deserve it. 2. Break up with the secret lover, cause his GF did nothing wrong to deserve it. 3. Stop using the word Karma in a futile attempt to sound spiritual or clever, you're neither, moreover, you don't know what it means or else you wouldn't be the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Key word here Girlfriend not Wife... so you should still see him.He may not want to marry his girlfriend.If your having feelings get what you want out of it.And again keyword your boyfriend not husband.You 2 may belong together always go with your gut feeling.If your having feelings you should keep seeing him since he's not actually married yet..Me I got involved with someone after we both were married should caught him before lol..... Marleen, if you listen to the above, you are setting yourself up for a HUGE world of hurt, so much more than you are already in. and if you read her posts on her thread, you'll know why. nothing excuses hurting other people. and bottom line, Marleen, is if you don't give a crap if you hurt other people, then go with what lisa said above, as lisa doesn't care who she hurts. if you care about the hurt you cause others, then don't listen to a word of the above. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Hey Marleen---get a hold of the movie BACK STREET, and watch it Link to post Share on other sites
lolpol Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Key word here Girlfriend not Wife... so you should still see him.He may not want to marry his girlfriend.If your having feelings get what you want out of it.And again keyword your boyfriend not husband.You 2 may belong together always go with your gut feeling.If your having feelings you should keep seeing him since he's not actually married yet..Me I got involved with someone after we both were married should caught him before lol..... What a horrible thing to say. It doesn't matter whether you are married or not, cheating is wrong and hurts the innocent party. In either case you should separate from your current partner (whether married or not) before you start another relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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